November 10, 2007

Looks Like We May Have a Weaner!

Well, the nursing issues are just not getting any better. It's not a matter of Kenna being distracted--she just plain does not want me. She doesn't mind my milk; on the few occasions I've been able to pump enough to put in a sippy cup, she drank that just fine. But nearly every feeding has been a complete battle, with her little fists pushing against me, her head turned in the opposite direction, and her voice wailing at the top of her little (but powerful) lungs. I've continued trying, as I never know when she'll decide to just go ahead and nurse (like first thing this morning--she did great). But it looks like we are just going to have to go to Plan B.

I was a little nervous, because the only other time I've given Kenna formula she most definitely did NOT want it. I think I tried that about a week ago. Kenna has had an off week, with runny poops, a runny nose, and a greatly diminished appetite. I'm quite sure we're going to see her first tooth appear very soon. So I'm trying to take that into consideration, but the fact is, the girl needs more to drink. She hasn't even been interested much in juice. If I could pump enough milk for her to take, I'm sure we'd be fine, but frankly, my right side is all but dried up, and even the left side doesn't pump well these days.

Last night, after another battle of trying to get her to take some "Mama Juice," I made a 4-ounce bottle of formula in desperation. Amazingly, she quieted down and took it. She only drank about an ounce and a half, but it was enough to let me know that she would indeed drink formula. She's had about 4-5 ounces throughout the day today as well. She hasn't eaten very much at all the last few days, and I've been giving her infant Tylenol because she has been a major CRAB, and that seems to be the only thing that helps her settle down to rest.

Soooo, looks like we'll keep going with a mix of nursing attempts and supplementing with formula. I used to wonder why moms had a hard time nursing--I could never understand why, if your milk was in and nursing was established, you could give up on nursing. I guess I'm learning from experience that it's not always the mother's choice!! I have a lot more compassion now for moms who have to give up nursing, and maybe that's the point of me having to go through all this. One thing I've learned about myself is that I'm a black-and-white kind of girl, and unfortunately I can be on the judgmental and critical side far too often. Being a mother of four children has certainly taught me that there is very little in life that is a "one size fits all" approach, and I've been humbled more times than I care to admit!

I hate the thought of not nursing Kenna any more (or even much more), but to be honest, it was such a relief to just be able to hold her and cuddle her while she drank her bottle. Her screaming fits and pushing me away have been extremely stressful, and it's been hard to enjoy feeding times at all. Hopefully I can recapture some of those special, precious moments.


The Litwillers said...

Happy feeding in the future from a bottle-feeding mama! I know it's a hard decision to make, but when you're both happier, it's worth it. I found with both of the boys that we got in just as much cuddle time bottle feeding as did the nursing moms. I was never a "bottle-propper", and I think that makes the difference. In fact, Ben would only eat when he was in a classic nursing position with the bottle tucked in between us!

I'm hoping and praying that I can nurse Anna, but we'll see. Not having to go back to work should make a big difference.

I hope that your new feeding method works well. Before you know it, she'll be grabbing those bottles from you and trying to drag them around the house. I just love finding moldy bottles and sippies in amongst the toys, don't you???

Debi Joy said...

As you know Katelyn also resisted me and pushed away from nursing much too early for me. (6 months old) Bottle feeding became a special time for myself AND Kevin to enjoy. You have given every effort to nurse and have done so successfully (not without hurdles) for nearly nine months. You should be proud of your efforts and take on this new phase in Kenna's development without a sense of defeat, but with the joy of a restored bonding time with her. You are a wonderful mother, one only has to spend time with beautiful Kenna to see that!