June 14, 2007

Consider It All Joy...

Size matters not...there seems to be no shortage of trials around here.

Our house is on the market. We are now making rent payments to a trustee, as the owner is in chapter 7 bankruptcy and all assets must be liquidated. While we have been told we can likely stay here through the summer at least, there is no way of knowing when we will need to move out of this house. If you've hung with us over the last year, you'll know that yes, we went through this very same thing a year ago! We just moved into this house at the end of May 2006. With 2 more years left in Vegas before our next assignment, who knows what will happen next? Sigh.

Monday I was sick with a stomach virus. Completely down for the count. Rescheduled a workshop I had for that night and spent most of the day in bed.

Arden had diarrhea Tuesday and Wednesday, though it didn't seem to slow him down.

Yesterday afternoon Ted got the stomach bug and was in bed pretty much the rest of the day.

During the night Tobin woke us twice after throwing up on his sheets. I just finished cleaning up another round that landed on the carpet and am doing the third load of laundry resulting from all this. I still have two loads of regular laundry to do as well.

Kenna's thrush is back, and she's been waking up at night. I don't nurse her in the middle of the night, but still, there it is--interrupted sleep. At least she goes back to sleep with a pacifier, but I don't like this trend and am hoping that once we can finally resolve the thrush matter, perhaps she'll sleep 8-9 hours straight like she was doing before.

This morning I wrote the following in my prayer journal and felt led to share here...

Dear Lord...

Please help me not to grow weary of doing good. Perseverance! Mold my character to become like Christ's. I confess I've done a lot of grumbling. I've been asking you to heal us and basically make sure life is rosy. After all, didn't we suffer enough having Ted gone for 6 months?! And how can I do what I need to do--teach the children, keep house, etc.--when I have to keep dealing with these problems?!

But then I have to laugh. You never promised life would be easy, and who says I "deserve" smooth sailing just because we endured a deployment? Why do I automatically jump to a selfish, self-preserving mindset during trials of various sorts, thinking I'll be Christ-like if only I can get past X?! How foolish is that thinking!

That is exactly why I must continue to endure difficulties and--yes--inconveniences: because it's the only way I can have the chance to practice acting like Jesus. It's easy to be godly when I'm feeling great and the children are behaving well. It's not so easy when I'm cleaning up barf in the middle of a night during which I'm awakened 4 times in 4 hours.

When you call me to set aside my plans (sleeping, hobbies, whatever is on my agenda) so I can deal with unexpected (and usually unpleasant) circumstances, do I answer your beck and call joyfully, immediately, knowing you have a reason? "Yes, Lord, I'm here!" (The way I am trying to teach my children to respond to my call? "Yes, Mommy!") Or do I shuffle my feet and groan, "Not now, Lord, I'm too tired. I've been working all day. I just can't deal with one more problem." Or, as Arden is prone to complain nowadays: "But you're making me do ALL the work!" And just as I laugh at Arden--you have NO idea, my son, how little work you do in the grand scheme of this household!--do you chuckle to yourself in heaven, thinking the same? Oh, my daughter, if you only knew how little you are truly suffering for My sake!

Oh, God! Forgive me when I whine. Forgive me for putting my comfort above my character development. Forgive me for the times I drag my feet instead of taking up my cross to follow you. Give me the desire and strength to obey you immediately and joyfully, no matter what the circumstances. I want to model perseverance and godliness, grace under pressure, and an undying love for you that my children can see in all circumstances.


Tina said...

Thank you for sharing that--I've been grumpy today from a rough night as well, and I needed to be reminded of that!

Amos said...

I really think the Lord was on a mission last night, since I too got up 3 times with my son. Not for sickness, just because he decided 4:30 was a great time to get up. And a few times more than that. I want so badly to go lay down and take a nap, but I am going tromp right through this and accomplish what I have set out to finish today. You are a kindred sister my friend. We have so much in common and I love that I can "hear" your voice through writing. Press on, for we are victorious in every battle! Love you!

Megan said...

Prayers for you all, on all counts!

Krista said...

Hey, thanks for the reminder! :)

On a random side note. I have a friend who is in residency in Las Vegas while his family is in Kingman. I don't know exactly where you are, but if you feel the need to reach out to someone, please let me know. He's bored and lonely - and missing his family.

Bob & Claire said...

Thanks for sharing that prayer--I am right there with you, even having some of the exact same thoughts regarding how I want my kids to respond to me, and how I respond to God during trials. My Bible study group is going through "Finding God" (the Larry Crabb book we did at Faircreek once--were you there for that?), and it has similarily been quite convicting in this area. Prayers here for you.

And I can not believe it about your house!! What in the world?! You guys are going to have moving cross-city honed to a perfect science. So sorry to hear about it anyways.