In the previous post about this topic, we looked at some neurological and physiological differences between boys and girls. From there, Mr. Pudewa went on to talk about four forms of relevancy and how to connect boys in particular with topics of study. Beginning with the best form of relevancy:
1. Intrinsic Relevancy.
This revolves around a boy's natural interest. (Think knives and swords, LOL.) Go deep and learn a lot about less--don't cover the bases! Otherwise you'll be two miles wide and one inch deep and know nothing about everything. Capitalize on a student's interest and give him increasing freedom to study what he's passionate about. (After all--isn't this one of the reasons many of us homeschool?!)
2. Inspired Relevancy.
Someone you know and love is interested in a topic. Connect kids with people who are passionate about other things. If I'm not excited about a subject, I need to introduce my kids to someone who is.
3. Contrived Relevancy.
You have to do it anyway (such as learning math facts), so you make it into a game. Think of the difference between these two sets of instructions:
A. Underline the 17 prepositional phrases in the following paragraph.
B. Find all the prepositional phrases hidden in this paragraph and you WIN!
A game is an economic system. Rules for an effective game:
A. You have to be able to win.
B. It has to have a potential gain AND a potential loss.
A good example he gave was a 100 Days Chart. This is working toward 100 days in a row of practicing a skill. (His example was practicing an instrument.) Once 100 days are complete, the student earns a prize--that is the potential gain. If the student misses a day, he must start over from day 1! No reminders are allowed! This is the potential loss.
In regard to possible concerns about whether this is bribery, he noted that bribery is illegal or immoral, but a system that gives external acknowledgment is OK. He likens it to receiving a paycheck for work well done.
4. Enforced Relevancy.
Obviously, this is the lowest level of relevancy and the most difficult to work with. A few notes here: Children LIKE to do what they are good at doing. Give them opportunities to keep improving. They also want to do what they THINK they CAN do. On the other hand, they hate to do and refuse to do what they believe they cannot do. A recommended resource here was The Myth of Laziness by Mel Levine.
TWO SECRET WEAPONS:
1. Emotional Bank Account--Keep it full, and live off the interest (said Dr. Suzuki). Making a correction, then, does not deplete from the principal. Keep score, literally! Say 10 positive things before saying a negative. NOT false praise--acknowledge the positive. Then, they trust you and believe you when you must correct them.
2. You must communicate that you love and appreciate your child! Otherwise, the lesson won't stick. A smile communicates mutual respect. Why can we be unconditionally loving and accepting of other people but don't communicate that with our kids?! All too often we assume the attitude, "I love you and you love me, now get to work!" Ouch! That hurt! I know I've been guilty of being too work/results-oriented.
Hope these notes were helpful for someone! They are a good reminder for me.
Showing posts with label Raising Sons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raising Sons. Show all posts
May 07, 2010
April 29, 2010
Teaching Boys & Other Kids Who Would Rather Build Forts All Day
This was one of my favorite sessions from the homeschool convention. Andrew Pudewa is an amazing, engaging speaker, and I already look forward to going to more of his sessions in the future.
The first part of the topic centered on neurological differences between boys and girls and how that relates to those of us trying to teach them. I took lots of notes during this session, so I may break this up into a couple of different posts. Don't assume that this is boring--it's actually quite fascinating! And if you're a mom/teacher of boys, I'm sure a lot of this isn't going to be news, but I really loved learning that there is concrete evidence for some of the things we intuitively know!
[ETA: Mr. Pudewa referenced a book called Why Gender Matters by Dr. Sax for the following information. He did give a caveat, saying that the research is very good and solid, but be aware, should you choose to read the book, that the worldview is not a Christian one, so there will be some differences if you are coming from that perspective.]
1. Boys hear differently than girls.
Boys' ears do not detect softer sounds as well as girls' ears--in other words, they literally do hear differently! So you know those annoying little taps and other noises boys make when they are supposed to be reading, writing, or listening? The ones that drive their moms and sisters crazy (or teachers, if they are in a classroom)? Boys don't even realize they are doing it! Take a boy sitting in the back of a classroom with a soft-spoken female teacher...he is back there tapping and banging away, literally trying to keep himself from dying of boredom because he can't hear what's going on!
2. Boys see differently than girls.
The optic nerve in females has more cells connected to cones; in men, the optic nerve has more cells connected to rods. This means that women see colors and textures better, while men see action and speed better. (This so explains card-making and the Super Bowl!) Even newborns are more able to detect this information, depending on whether they are male or female.
Boys draw verbs. Give kids time to draw, and the boys will come up with pictures depicting arrows flying, rockets blasting off, etc. They will probably only use one crayon. Girls, on the other hand, draw nouns. Houses, flowers, ponies, rainbows. So typically teachers will respond to the girls' drawings more favorably--it's easier to figure out what a girl has drawn, and she uses lots of colors. On the other hand, an adult usually has to ask a boy to explain his drawing (unless, like Tobin, he labels everything in the picture!)
When it comes to writing, boys use verbs and adverbs, while girls use nouns and adjectives. If you ask a boy, "Would you like me to help you add more detail to this paragraph?" he'll say, "Naw, I'm good." But if you ask him, "Would you like me to help you add more action?" he'll be more likely to continue writing!
3. Boys respond to stress differently than girls.
Fascinating--did you know the "fight or flight" response is true only of MALE animals? All the tests were done on male animals. Know why? Because all the females had too many hormones raging! Female animals all respond to stress by hiding.
Males regulate stress by standing up and moving around and by being in cooler temperatures. So when we tell boys, "Sit down and work on this hard math page!" we are giving them conflicting messages! Studies done have shown that gender-separated classrooms that allow boys to move freely (chairs optional) have much better results compared to mixed classrooms in which boys have to sit and behave the way that comes naturally to girls.
Females best regulate stress by lying still and getting warmer. If a girl is stressed, often you first have to find her! They are often hiding under blankets. (I had to laugh at this, because it's definitely true of my Charis.)
So now the thermostat wars are explained! 68 degrees is optimal for boys; 75 degrees for girls.
4. Boys react differently to pain than girls do.
When men experience pain, there is an increase in blood flow to their cortex. This allows them to have clarity--it helps in battle, yes? One wants our soldiers to be able to think clearly despite pain. When women experience pain, however, there is a decrease in blood flow to their cortex. It's that fuzzy feeling that allows for the survival of our species--if we remembered the pain of childbirth, we would never truly want to repeat it!
An interesting factoid to close with, and then I'll finish posting the rest of the notes at another time. Scientific studies about these neurological differences showed them to hold true across the board, no matter what age or what "orientation" participants claimed to be. Males responded one way, females another. More proof that God created us perfectly for the roles He wants us to fulfill!
The first part of the topic centered on neurological differences between boys and girls and how that relates to those of us trying to teach them. I took lots of notes during this session, so I may break this up into a couple of different posts. Don't assume that this is boring--it's actually quite fascinating! And if you're a mom/teacher of boys, I'm sure a lot of this isn't going to be news, but I really loved learning that there is concrete evidence for some of the things we intuitively know!
[ETA: Mr. Pudewa referenced a book called Why Gender Matters by Dr. Sax for the following information. He did give a caveat, saying that the research is very good and solid, but be aware, should you choose to read the book, that the worldview is not a Christian one, so there will be some differences if you are coming from that perspective.]
1. Boys hear differently than girls.
Boys' ears do not detect softer sounds as well as girls' ears--in other words, they literally do hear differently! So you know those annoying little taps and other noises boys make when they are supposed to be reading, writing, or listening? The ones that drive their moms and sisters crazy (or teachers, if they are in a classroom)? Boys don't even realize they are doing it! Take a boy sitting in the back of a classroom with a soft-spoken female teacher...he is back there tapping and banging away, literally trying to keep himself from dying of boredom because he can't hear what's going on!
2. Boys see differently than girls.
The optic nerve in females has more cells connected to cones; in men, the optic nerve has more cells connected to rods. This means that women see colors and textures better, while men see action and speed better. (This so explains card-making and the Super Bowl!) Even newborns are more able to detect this information, depending on whether they are male or female.
Boys draw verbs. Give kids time to draw, and the boys will come up with pictures depicting arrows flying, rockets blasting off, etc. They will probably only use one crayon. Girls, on the other hand, draw nouns. Houses, flowers, ponies, rainbows. So typically teachers will respond to the girls' drawings more favorably--it's easier to figure out what a girl has drawn, and she uses lots of colors. On the other hand, an adult usually has to ask a boy to explain his drawing (unless, like Tobin, he labels everything in the picture!)
When it comes to writing, boys use verbs and adverbs, while girls use nouns and adjectives. If you ask a boy, "Would you like me to help you add more detail to this paragraph?" he'll say, "Naw, I'm good." But if you ask him, "Would you like me to help you add more action?" he'll be more likely to continue writing!
3. Boys respond to stress differently than girls.
Fascinating--did you know the "fight or flight" response is true only of MALE animals? All the tests were done on male animals. Know why? Because all the females had too many hormones raging! Female animals all respond to stress by hiding.
Males regulate stress by standing up and moving around and by being in cooler temperatures. So when we tell boys, "Sit down and work on this hard math page!" we are giving them conflicting messages! Studies done have shown that gender-separated classrooms that allow boys to move freely (chairs optional) have much better results compared to mixed classrooms in which boys have to sit and behave the way that comes naturally to girls.
Females best regulate stress by lying still and getting warmer. If a girl is stressed, often you first have to find her! They are often hiding under blankets. (I had to laugh at this, because it's definitely true of my Charis.)
So now the thermostat wars are explained! 68 degrees is optimal for boys; 75 degrees for girls.
4. Boys react differently to pain than girls do.
When men experience pain, there is an increase in blood flow to their cortex. This allows them to have clarity--it helps in battle, yes? One wants our soldiers to be able to think clearly despite pain. When women experience pain, however, there is a decrease in blood flow to their cortex. It's that fuzzy feeling that allows for the survival of our species--if we remembered the pain of childbirth, we would never truly want to repeat it!
An interesting factoid to close with, and then I'll finish posting the rest of the notes at another time. Scientific studies about these neurological differences showed them to hold true across the board, no matter what age or what "orientation" participants claimed to be. Males responded one way, females another. More proof that God created us perfectly for the roles He wants us to fulfill!
April 27, 2010
Rebuilding a Concept of Virtuous Boyhood
The second session I attended at the homeschool convention was given by Doug Phillips from Vision Forum. What follows in this post are the notes I took from his session, which was in a very large room in which every chair was filled. Heather and I had to sit on the floor, in fact. So obviously it was a well-received topic! But unfortunately I was unable to see the Power Point slides that went along with his presentation, so my notes are probably not as organized as they could have been. As before, I will simply bullet the points.
* Like it or not, we are in an entertainment-driven culture full of ungodly violence, role reversals, and a watering down of the family.
* Boys are supposed to act like men!
* The modern priority for boys is to feed the flesh. Boys do not identify with their fathers--instead, they identify with rock stars, sports stars, and peer groups.
* Culture is religion externalized. We have an immature culture.
* Much of the communication in our culture is "verbal vomit," or inarticulate speech full of slang, verbal pauses, "like, you know, whatever and stuff."
* Noble boyhood involves relating properly to girls as sisters in Christ. Virtuous boys/men are protectors and defenders of women and sons of the King.
* Our culture is full of indecisive men who are molly-cuddled.
* Our mission: To train our boys to be mighty men of God. This involves 1) Sonship, 2) Nobility, 3) Wisdom, and 4) Dominion. (An example here is Captain John Smith.)
* Doctrine of Manliness: This involves the blessed man, the upright man, and another adjective man that I didn't catch. His point came from several Scriptures where men were exhorted to "be a man," or "brace yourself like a man," etc. (Examples: David speaking on his deathbed to Solomon, God answering Job out of the storm.)
* Duty is a guiding light for true manliness. It involves self-sacrifice for the weak, principle, and faith that overcomes fear.
* Quote from Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts...[much more than I could get]...the credit belongs to the man in the arena."
* Dare greatly! Peace? Ease? Entertainment? Fantasy? Is this what we are raising our boys for? If so, they will not be engaged in the world of work. Work, business, cause of Christ--this is what they need to strive for.
* Dream noble dreams for the real world.
* Sons: Do something important with your life! At age 15-16, sons should be thinking of themselves as men.
* Even at a young age on earth, Christ was about His Father's business.
* Another example: David. He spent most of his time AWAY from peer groups. His time was invested in hard work. He gained excellence in the Christian culture from an early age. He was about his father's business, and as he worked, both recreation and work became his physical salvation and prepared him for his work as a man. He played a harp, but he was also a warrior.
* Language--(remember the aforementioned "verbal vomit?!")--We need to get back to a language of honor and respect. Sons need to show honor and respect to fathers, but also it should go the other way: "This is my son, with whom I am well pleased."
* Self-discipline in language--use complete sentences! Make your words count. Watch the books you read! (Or let your boys read...)
* Then he talked a bit about developing a library of good literature to inspire boys and referenced Robert Ballantyne and G.A. Henty books. He said, "Boys need to encounter risks." Also, "How a boy responds to history helps to define his perspective about himself."
So, note to self...we need to check out those books! I've heard of the Henty books but not the Ballantyne ones. I think the Henty books are a little above where our boys are right now, but they are definitely on my list for future reading for our family!
* Like it or not, we are in an entertainment-driven culture full of ungodly violence, role reversals, and a watering down of the family.
* Boys are supposed to act like men!
* The modern priority for boys is to feed the flesh. Boys do not identify with their fathers--instead, they identify with rock stars, sports stars, and peer groups.
* Culture is religion externalized. We have an immature culture.
* Much of the communication in our culture is "verbal vomit," or inarticulate speech full of slang, verbal pauses, "like, you know, whatever and stuff."
* Noble boyhood involves relating properly to girls as sisters in Christ. Virtuous boys/men are protectors and defenders of women and sons of the King.
* Our culture is full of indecisive men who are molly-cuddled.
* Our mission: To train our boys to be mighty men of God. This involves 1) Sonship, 2) Nobility, 3) Wisdom, and 4) Dominion. (An example here is Captain John Smith.)
* Doctrine of Manliness: This involves the blessed man, the upright man, and another adjective man that I didn't catch. His point came from several Scriptures where men were exhorted to "be a man," or "brace yourself like a man," etc. (Examples: David speaking on his deathbed to Solomon, God answering Job out of the storm.)
* Duty is a guiding light for true manliness. It involves self-sacrifice for the weak, principle, and faith that overcomes fear.
* Quote from Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts...[much more than I could get]...the credit belongs to the man in the arena."
* Dare greatly! Peace? Ease? Entertainment? Fantasy? Is this what we are raising our boys for? If so, they will not be engaged in the world of work. Work, business, cause of Christ--this is what they need to strive for.
* Dream noble dreams for the real world.
* Sons: Do something important with your life! At age 15-16, sons should be thinking of themselves as men.
* Even at a young age on earth, Christ was about His Father's business.
* Another example: David. He spent most of his time AWAY from peer groups. His time was invested in hard work. He gained excellence in the Christian culture from an early age. He was about his father's business, and as he worked, both recreation and work became his physical salvation and prepared him for his work as a man. He played a harp, but he was also a warrior.
* Language--(remember the aforementioned "verbal vomit?!")--We need to get back to a language of honor and respect. Sons need to show honor and respect to fathers, but also it should go the other way: "This is my son, with whom I am well pleased."
* Self-discipline in language--use complete sentences! Make your words count. Watch the books you read! (Or let your boys read...)
* Then he talked a bit about developing a library of good literature to inspire boys and referenced Robert Ballantyne and G.A. Henty books. He said, "Boys need to encounter risks." Also, "How a boy responds to history helps to define his perspective about himself."
So, note to self...we need to check out those books! I've heard of the Henty books but not the Ballantyne ones. I think the Henty books are a little above where our boys are right now, but they are definitely on my list for future reading for our family!
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