Life with 7

Occasionally these days I'm asked how life is with seven children. Here are some ramblings that address the question, if not answer it...I'm not sure I have an answer!

So. I thought life spun out of control after I had our third child in three years.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pardon me while I wipe away a tear from laughing so hard. If only I had known what life would be like 10 years later! Actually, it's probably best I didn't know...although I'm so thankful that none of this caught God by surprise.

(Seriously...when did 3, 4, or 5 kids become "only" 3, 4, or 5 kids?!)

I'd like to think that I've grown and matured at least a little during our parenting journey. And one thing I've learned is not to wait around for the next stage of life...in other words, telling myself it will be better/easier/more delightful after X, Y, or Z happens (potty training, sleeping through the night, independent walking, whatever). My current mantra often has me wandering the house in a daze, muttering under my breath that I can sleep when I'm dead, or at least when the kids go to college.

But the truth is, I don't have time to wait around until we have an empty nest! I'm desperately trying to squeeze the life out of the fleeting moments we have every day. With perspective that comes only after the 7th child is born, I find myself constantly reminding the Type A part of my increasingly schizo personality that someday, SOMEDAY, I will look back on these days and remember when my babies were young and wish that I could cuddle them as wee ones again.

Oh, I've heard that sentiment since I was pregnant with our first child. And I would nod and try to assume a manner of wisdom by association rather than experience, knowing it was true in my head but not yet in my heart. And then Charis arrived, and suddenly I blinked and she celebrated her 13th birthday.

Wait. Did that just happen?!

Why, yes. Yes, it did. On October 18, 2013, my baby girl turned 13. And I see her gangling arms and legs as her body is growing, listen to her mature wisdom as she counsels younger siblings, hug her close and kiss the top of her head, no longer stooping over to do so. Knowing she is watching me closely, I strive harder to display a patient, gentle spirit that certainly didn't appear very often in my early days of motherhood. (Prayerfully, she will not remember the days when Mommy turned--and still sometimes turns--into a raging, hormonal maniac!) I hope Charis sees me leaning on the Lord for strength and peace in the midst of seeming chaos. I hope she sees me smiling more than frowning, encouraging more than lecturing.

As a more seasoned mom, it's slightly (EVER so slightly) easier to close my eyes, take a big breath, and then smile...when the 2-year-old is drawing with marker on the wall...when the 11-year-old is telling the same old jokes instead of clearing the table...when the baby has awakened halfway through his nap (yet again interrupting our homeschool)...when the independent 6-year-old is "helping" in the kitchen...when the 2-year-old is still screaming and shaking with rage because Mom took the marker away...when the 4-year-old is melting down because his Lego creation is now in pieces in the hands of his little brother...

Many days, it is true, all of this happens and I am utterly, completely overwhelmed.  Many days I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Spent. Done. Even when I'm plagued with feelings of doubt and guilt, though, it's JUST a bit easier than it was in the earlier days of parenting to remind myself there is meaning and purpose in all of my activities, even ones that involve slogging through piles of laundry and dirty diapers.

It's JUST a bit easier to tell myself...

In the scheme of eternity, this doesn't matter.
A messy house.
A ruined dinner.
Piles of laundry.
Sleepless nights.
Spit up.
Stretch marks.
Sticky floors.
Toddler tantrums.
Missed workouts.

In the scheme of eternity, this matters!
Unconditional love.
Time in God's Word.
Acceptance (of self and those around me.)
Relationships.
Time with loved ones.
Hugs.
Kisses.
Snuggles.
Smiles.
Laughter.

These days, I feel the pull more than ever, the struggle between what IS and what I want it to be. But I'm still learning. I'm trying to take the advice other moms told me 13 years ago when I carried my baby girl. "Enjoy these days! They go by so fast."

It's cliche, perhaps, but it's true: The days are long but the years are short. Oh, so short. I had a sobering conversation recently with my older three children centered around the fact that they have fewer years left under our roof as minors than they have already spent with us.  Eeeep! Oh, let my little--and big--children come to me! Let me bless them and remind them that the kingdom of God is made of such as themselves! Let them come and ask--demand, even--the gift of my presence. And let me be fully there with them in that moment.

Yes, baby Seanin, I'll snuggle your sweet self a little longer when you wake me up at night for an unexpected feeding.

Yes, sweet Zaden, I'll read you that story one more time, even though we just read it 5 minutes ago. And 10 minutes before that. And half an hour before that.

Yes, little Lucan, I'll hold you like a baby and chant our little saying, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always..."

Yes, dear Kenna, I'll let you help me make the muffins, even though you slow me down and clouds of flour will puff all over the counter and floor.

Yes, Arden, I will clear the table and play a game of Dutch Blitz with you, even though part of me was hoping for a few minutes to read.

Yes, Tobin, I'll listen to your saga of the latest computer game conquest. I may not have a clue what is happening in that world, but I'll listen.

Yes, Charis, we can snuggle under the blankets and read "our" book together and talk about girl stuff. Life. Love.

And yes, dear husband Ted, I will ALWAYS make time for you. If being a mom is a hard job, so is being the dad who works hard to allow Mom to stay home with the kids. And you, dear daddy of our 7, make it such a joy and honor to be these kids' mommy. You never complain when dinner is late or consists of leftovers. You don't mind stepping over shoes and toys (although you are so good about making sure the children clean up after themselves!) and don't blame me when the laundry has piled up so high you must launch rescue efforts to help us dig our way to the bottom. You teach the kids to appreciate what we give them and to honor me as their mother. (You'll be pleased to know Lucan presented me with a Lego flower he made yesterday morning!) You encourage me when I'm struggling and shower me with sincere words of appreciation. You act as though my stretch marks are in fact beauty marks, and you delight in who I am, not what I sometimes wish I could look like. You, my lover, are a gift.

Our life with 7 kids? Chaotic. Noisy. Messy. And yes, overwhelming. Seanin has been with us 4 months and we are STILL adjusting. I think we will always be "adjusting," no matter what phase of life we are in. But I hope, I pray, that we are learning that the adjustment process IS life. We don't, CAN'T, put life on hold until we "feel organized." Feelings and circumstances change. I must set my mind on things above, realizing that so much of what makes up this life is temporary, yet understanding that God uses the temporal to shape us for eternity.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Of Guilt and Rationalization

I recently read an excellent blog post that has circulated the Facebook world, A Letter to Young Mothers.  The author expresses beautifully what I've been learning along my own parenting journey.  It struck me, as I pondered the ups and downs of life as a parent, that instead of being content in the Room of Grace, I too often fluctuate between the extremes of guilt and rationalization.  (See the excellent book The Cure for a treatise on pleasing God vs. trusting God, i.e. living in the Room of Good Intentions vs. living in the Room of Grace.)

Example: I've only exercised 5 days in a row the past two months because of sickness and lower back pain.  I've all but given up on the idea of having a healthy body during this pregnancy, so I've been consuming alarming amounts of junk food.  (Having an all-or-nothing personality isn't something I'm proud of...)  Instead of allowing myself a treat now and then and enjoying it in an emotionally healthy manner, I alternately beat myself up with guilt for "blowing it" or rationalize to myself that I "deserved it."  Neither extreme is a comfortable place to be--and the ironic thing is, any pleasure or comfort I may otherwise have received from my dark chocolate or my crunchy, salty chips ends up replaced by feelings of self-loathing (guilt) or attempted indifference (rationalization).

Yesterday morning I kind of had an epiphany of sorts--and it came in the framework of homeschooling.  We’re floundering somewhat with Ted gone for a 6-week training class in the States.  We are at the end of our American History curriculum but not quite ready to jump into our next Core.  (I have a lot of organizing to do first!)  So, as we wrap up some loose ends, counting down these last 20 or so days until Ted's return, I am just trying to hang on and survive while dealing with lower back pain, exhaustion, and the general chaos that exists in a house with 6 children and a pregnant, hormonal mom.  Our regular daily schedule has been set aside and we literally take one day (moment even) at a time.  I do not cope well with this type of living!

So Monday morning, as I was considering what I thought maybe the kids should do as far as schoolwork that day, I was praying, “Lord, what do YOU want us to get done today?”  And I actually think I detected a note of exasperation in His reply!  I can't type out a word-for-word response that I heard in my heart, but it was along the lines of…really, it doesn't matter WHAT you do [in the realm of math, language arts, etc.]!  What matters is HOW you do it!

When we view eternity…when we’re living in God’s forever kingdom…will my kids have grown in the grace and knowledge of Jesus?  Will they know that He loves them fiercely because I as their mom showed them such love?  Will they have been empowered and equipped to carry the gospel to those who need it and to show love and compassion to everyone regardless of whether it’s easy or convenient?

THOSE are the things that are important.  And I know that, and I tell myself that, and I tell others that (especially newer homeschooling moms), but I still find myself playing this guilt game over not having a clean enough house or an organized enough schedule or being “behind” in this or that.  Behind according to whom or what?!  Good grief.  We've made life so complicated.  It doesn't need to be.  It shouldn't be.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 

1 Cor. 10:31

So whether I eat dark chocolate...or drink coffee...or teach grammar...or wipe a dirty bottom...or tell a child for the 5th time to take his dirty dishes to the sink...or whatever I do...

...I want it to be all for the glory of God.

I want it to count for eternity.

I don't want to waste the moment wallowing in guilt.

I don't want to waste it rationalizing my choices.

Through Jesus Christ I am justified...sanctified...righteous and holy in His sight.  Absolutely I still struggle with sin.  But I dwell in the Room of Grace.  And if my sovereign, holy God gives me grace...shouldn't I give myself some, too?  And shouldn't I be eager to extend it to all those around me?  Actually, it often seems easier to extend grace to everyone else except myself...and those closest to me.  Why do I hold myself (and even my children) to a higher standard than I would expect of others?  I suppose that could be a topic to explore another time...

In the meantime, I'm choosing, in these weeks of "flux," to focus less on the concrete tasks that I would typically write on my planner.  Instead, I want to pursue some of those more elusive ideals of life.  My to-do list might look something more like this:

• Sing of God's love to and with my kids
• Read more stories--Bible stories AND fairy tales
• Cuddle
• Tell my 10-year-old what an awesome kid I think he is
• Actually listen to my 4-year-old when he tells me the saga of the pirate ship he has built out of math blocks and Lincoln logs
• Dance with my 6-year-old in the kitchen
• Spend some alone time with my 12-year-old and give her a safe place to discuss what's on her heart
• Throw the football with my 9-year-old...assuming we can get it down from the ledge between our yard and the neighbors'.  (Sigh.)

No guilt over what isn't "being accomplished."  No rationalizing my need for "alone time."  

Only grace...grace given, grace received.

Kenna's Decision

Over the last few weeks I've been thinking and praying about Kenna's awareness about her need for a Savior.  With Easter coming and going, we had opportunities to talk about WHY Jesus died on the cross.  And Charis had even commented that Kenna was older than Charis herself was when she prayed to ask Jesus into her heart.  Charis recently completed a Child Evangelism Fellowship training course and had asked if she could sometime go through the wordless book presentation with Kenna to see if she was ready.  Of course I told her that was a wonderful idea!

Well, tonight when I was tucking Kenna into bed, I asked her what she learned in Sunday school.  We usually try to discuss that around our lunch table, but today's lunch was pretty chaotic with getting leftovers heated for everyone and whisking Charis out the door for call time for her show, then the rest of the crew out to SEE the show while the little boys and I stayed home to nap.

Anyway, it worked well that we hadn't had that discussion yet!  Kenna told me that she learned about the woman who wiped Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.  Our conversation then went something like this:

"Why did she do that, Kenna?"

"Because she loved Jesus so much."

"That's right.  We can't wash Jesus' feet now because He's in heaven, but we can still show Him that we love Him by loving and serving other people."

"How can we give Jesus stuff?"

"Jesus doesn't need any of our stuff!  He already has everything--but what we CAN give Jesus is our heart!  Someday when you're ready, you can pray and ask Jesus to come into your heart."

"I want to pray now!"

We went back downstairs and told Grandma and Grandpa K, who are here visiting, what was going on, and Charis, who was reading on the couch, went and got her wordless book.  We sat together while Charis went through the pages and made sure Kenna understood everything.  We (Kenna and I) recently had a conversation about the gospel message...in fact, we've had a few of these conversations lately!  Now that I think about it, there was a touching parenting moment recently that I believe God used to prepare Kenna's heart for tonight's decision...I'll write about that in a moment.

Kenna listened to Charis (being just a bit silly now and then, but mostly I think because she was in a hurry to just go ahead and pray!), and then we prayed together.  What a joy to share this moment with her AND her big sister AND her grandparents!  I'm still in awe over how it all came together!

So about a week or so ago I discovered Kenna eating out of Lucan's box of Easter jelly beans.
1.  She did not have permission to be eating candy.
2.  She stole Lucan's candy.
3.  She then lied about eating Lucan's candy, even though the evidence was CLEARLY hard to mistake!

I took her up to her room, and we had a very precious time of conversation.  I felt God impressing on me that this was NOT the time to punish her, even though her actions clearly deserved punishment.  She knew she had done wrong!  She was very tearful and repentant (probably more sorry she got caught, but still, I believe she was indeed sad about her sin!).  I told her that because she had sinned, she deserved to be punished...and the Spirit led me to tell her the good news about how God reaches down with grace and mercy on all of us, who deserve eternal punishment, and instead gave us Jesus, who bore our sins on the cross.  I made it clear that USUALLY, in our house, anyone who disobeyed, stole, and lied would have been disciplined!  But to show her a picture of what God did for us through Jesus, I chose NOT to give Kenna that punishment.

Thankfully, I am pleased to report that she has, to date, refrained from repeating said sinful behavior, and I would like to think that our little talk made an impact on her that helped lead her to tonight's decision.  What a joy and a blessing to lead our little ones to Christ!  Another child joins the kingdom of heaven, and the angels are partying tonight!

Food for Thought

"The things that might aggravate you about your child today, might be the very things when matured that make them great for God’s kingdom tomorrow."

I love this quote, from this blog post titled "I don't want to raise a good child."

It's a thought I've had ever since my oldest kids were toddlers and we found ourselves in various tug o' wars over issues that really don't matter.  Someone once told me that every characteristic has a bad side and a good side--for example, someone can be described as "stubborn" or "persistent."

And it's a thought that bears tucking away for future reference as the children insist on growing up!

Dr. John Rosemond at the Homeschool Convention

In a series of posts that may or may not be consecutive and that may or may not be finished before next month, I will attempt to share some of my notes from the homeschool convention in an effort to allow my brain to mull over the concepts again and, prayerfully, to be a blessing to any other parents who may be able to glean some nuggets of wisdom and encouragement on any of these topics.

Ted and I both attended two sessions with Dr. Rosemond as the speaker. If you are unfamiliar with this man, I highly recommend checking out his books. I started reading his weekly columns in the Dayton Daily News when we first lived in Ohio and was impressed by his no-nonsense approach to parenting. I wasn't sure at the time but wondered if he might be a Christian. He mentioned during one of the sessions that he became a Bible-believing Christian 10 years ago, so his words as a Christian psychologist carry more weight with me, especially since he says he retains his credentials as a psychologist in order to obtain credibility with parents--he pretty much feels that psychology is a bunch of hooey. :-)

Rather than try to reproduce his talks in written form, I'll just bullet my notes.

* "High self-esteem seizure" - This was his phrase for a temper tantrum. I just thought it was funny. :-)

* Children need love and leadership. Leadership is acting like you know what you're doing!

* Discipline is typically all about behavior, though it should be a process of teaching. Values and character are what it should be about.

* As parents, you MUST have a vision for what you want your children to be in the future. Are your energies spent investing in your children's secular achievements?? [Side note from me: This encouraged Ted and me as we evaluate what activities we want our kids to be involved in. Is it wrong for them to be in sports? No. But is it the BEST use of our time and money? At this point, probably not. Our job is training disciples for God's kingdom, not shuffling kids to and from practices. Since we do not feel a call in this area for any of our children, why make our lives busier and more stressful?]

* Children need to learn not all their problems can be solved. Let them take responsibility for their own problems--don't accept "I need help." As his mother told Dr. Rosemond as a child, "I figured this out; so can you."

* What percent of your time is spent in the role of father or mother? What percent of your time is spent in the role of husband or wife? Remember Genesis 2:24!! Set boundaries and make sure kids know your marriage is priority. They will be much happier, and so will you.

* Leadership parenting is a role, a matter of presentation. Claim the legitimacy of your authority. Act like you know what you're doing, where you're going, what you want, and what you expect it to happen!

* The mind of a child cannot understand the mind of an adult. We plant SEEDS of understanding, not understanding. Therefore...STOP EXPLAINING!!

* Kids are not going to suddenly say, "Oh, I see your point now, and I agree with you." There are only 6 explanations for saying no (listed below), and kids aren't going to like any of them. So just say, "If I were your age, I wouldn't agree with me either," and walk away! Here are the "explanations:"

1. You're not old enough.
2. You might get hurt.
3. There's not enough money.
4. There's not enough time.
5. We don't like those kids.
6. We don't believe in that.

Dr. Rosemond recommended putting each one on a slip of paper and sticking it in a jar, and when kids want an answer for why you're saying no to something, pick a slip of paper and read it! Soon enough they'll stop asking! (Yes, he was being facetious somewhat, but you have to know his personality and style to truly appreciate this. I personally loved it.)

So what do you do when you tell a child to do something and he doesn't do it? Here are his basic Rules for Consequences...or, Plan B.

1. Tell them ONCE. No nagging, no threatening, no repeating, no constant stream of talk. Tell them once, and walk away.

2. Do what you can when you can. Often immediate circumstances will not be optimal for giving a consequence, but you can bring it down later by describing the precipitating event. By age 3 kids can understand this, so consequences CAN be delayed.

3. Punishment should NEVER fit the crime. Nip it in the bud--don't tolerate it!

So, the example for these 3 rules: Mom tells Billy to pick up his toys because someone is coming over to meet with her and they need to use the room where Billy is playing. Mom says, "Billy, please pick up these toys. I'll be back in a few minutes to see that it's done." She leaves. Billy ignores her. Mom says nothing when she comes back and sees the toys aren't picked up. She calmly picks up the toys herself, has her meeting, and goes on with her day.

As Billy finishes eating later on at dinner time, Mom tells Billy, "Son, it's time to get ready for bed."

"What?!" Billy gasps. "It's only 6:30!"

"That's right. Your bedtime tonight is 6:30. In fact, your bedtime for the next 3 weeks is 6:30."

By now Billy is in utter shock.

Mom continues. "Earlier today I asked you to pick up your toys so the room would be clean for my meeting. You did not obey. Instead, I picked up your toys. As my reward for doing this work, I will enjoy 3 weeks of child-free evenings!"

So there you can see all 3 rules in action. :-)

Very Kevin Lehman, if you're familiar with any of his parenting books. Good stuff! It's always good to be reminded of how we should use our God-given authority!

Mommy Learns a Lesson

Yesterday evening before dinner I asked Charis to set the table--she's our dinner helper this week. She immediately got a frumpy look on her face, and I assumed it was because she didn't want to do her work. She had been resistant the evening before as well, which is quite unusual for her (unless it comes to cleaning her room--THAT chore is rarely met with joyful obedience!). She had just said goodbye to her friend Addie who is coming over on Tuesday afternoons while her mom helps lead a financial class at church, so I wasn't sure why she was so upset...it's not as if she were in the middle of playing anything.

Thankfully, instead of lecturing her about having a good attitude, I sat on the floor with her and asked her what she was feeling. She started crying for a bit, and I could tell she was trying to formulate her feelings into words. This is a fairly recently developed skill, and it is wonderful to be able to talk on a deeper level with her. It was worth the time to be patient and listen to her. When she was ready to talk, this is what she said:

"Every day is the same. We wake up, we do school, we do our chores. We don't do anything exciting anymore. Ever since the Brownies left [our good friends who moved a few months ago] we just do the same thing every day."

I thought for a minute. Obviously, it's not entirely true--in the time our friends have been gone, we have had a fun trip to Idaho, a trip to Colorado, and a variety of other "exciting" things happening. However, I have to admit Charis was right in that I have not gone out of my way to put much variety in our days. When Sarah was still in Las Vegas, it was common for one of us to call the other and say, "Hey, we need to get out of the house! Want to meet us at the park?" or some other such suggestion. I've been so focused on getting us on track with a school and chore schedule that I have not made fun a priority--except on the weekends when Daddy is home from work with us.

Charis and I also talked about the fact that she's just plain missing her friends Hannah, Mackenzie, and TJ. She has friends, but as far as another family that has children the same age for us to get together with, we haven't really "replaced" the B family. (We could never truly replace them, you know!!)

I told Charis she was absolutely right: We HAVE been doing similar things every day. I'm thankful that she still seems to enjoy school--at least she wasn't telling me every day was completely boring! With Kenna in the picture, too, I've been even less inclined to leave the house spontaneously. But I can definitely see Charis's point, and I probably would be feeling the same way if I were in her shoes.

So, we are officially taking a break the rest of the week. We've been doing great with school, and since our only official breaks were times we have been out of town (not entirely a BREAK, if you know what I mean with the stress of travel and then catching up upon returning home), we can really use some good old-fashioned down time. I'm taking the kids to the home school co-op's Park Day tomorrow, and then we'll be at our fall kick-off picnic Friday evening (also the home school co-op). Hopefully these two events will help Charis and the boys to find some other kids they can connect with as well as serve the purpose of incorporating more fun into our day.

In the future, I plan to add some sparkle to our days--I'm getting some great suggestions on the Sonlight forums, and I hope to add some fun activities that won't even take away from our schedule! ;-)

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?!

Our home school verse for this week is Philippians 2:14, "Do everything without complaining and arguing." (Rule 12: When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.) As I wrote the verse and rule on the white board Monday morning, I thought how appropriate it was that we're looking at this topic this week, because it seems that the complaining around here has escalated greatly. And, as any adult who has ever watched more than one child play knows, arguing is a fact of life amongst siblings and friends.

Little did I know that I'd soon be dealing with one of my children arguing with ME every time I asked him to do something! I told Ted this evening that I don't really recall this being much of an issue, but truly, the last two days, just about ANYTHING I have asked or told Tobin to do, the response is some kind of argument as to why he shouldn't do whatever it is.

Example:
"Tobin, you're my lunch helper this week. Please come help me set the table for lunch."

"Well, I just need to finish coloring this picture."
Or...
"I don't want to be lunch helper. I decided I want to be dinner helper instead." (What do you think he would say at dinner time if I asked him to help then?!)
Or...
"I'm making a house right now. I'll do it later."

And so on.

It makes no difference what the task is...it could be as simple as "Please take your dirty shoes off the counter" or "Let's get in the van and buckle up." EVERY time he has a come-back. For quite awhile he was doing a fabulous job of saying "Yes, Mommy," and obeying, if not immediately, at least somewhat in the vicinity of the time I asked.

So, I ask you: Did I bring this on by asking my children to memorize a verse and a rule against complaining and arguing?! Thank heavens I'm not having any major "issues" with Charis and Arden right now! I don't think I could handle training more than one child in more than one area at this time in my life!! Not that it will get any easier after the baby arrives, but my life is so full of distractions now as it is...I need help focusing.

Sigh. I guess no one ever said parenting would be easy...

Pure Bliss

It only happens once in a blue moon--Tobin slept until 8 a.m. today. Arden was the first child awake, talking softly to himself around 7:15. I whisked him out of his crib so as not to disturb Tobin (who has been having sleep issues lately) and took him downstairs to do his favorite morning activity: puzzles. We spread the puzzles on the floor, and he dumped out his current favorite (Jack and Jill), then sat there holding one piece and staring into space. I watched him, waiting to see whether he would begin working on the puzzle, but he didn't move. He didn't respond when I asked him if he was going to do the puzzle, either, so I scooped him up and put him on my lap. He didn't resist...in fact, he snuggled his head onto my chest, and we just sat there together.

After a few moments, I began talking to him. I told him how much I love him, how much God loves him, how God has a special plan for his life, and how Daddy and I pray for him every day. Arden was a good listener! We cuddled for a long time, and I just savored every moment. I rubbed his little feet and toes through his footy pajamas, I gently squeezed his chubby knees and elbows, I held his soft little hands, I stroked his freshly cut hair (it's so fun to rub the extra short fuzz in the back), and I kissed his head probably a hundred times. I remember times like this with Charis, when I was just so overwhelmed by the blessing that she was that I simply could not put her down. And I know there have been times when I've enjoyed cuddling Tobin as well. But with three children who all seem so needy, I somehow feel that Arden gets a little shortchanged at times. It's during moments that we had together this morning that I try to fill up his little "love tank." I thank the Lord for that precious time together. All too soon it came to an end, and he was pushing himself off my lap and squawking for breakfast.

Some people seek 15 minutes of fame. I seek a way to etch 15 minutes with my son into my heart and mind forever.