Joy in the Journey

R&R, Day 7

2012-01-29T07:22:00.000-05:00

Was it just a week ago we were anxiously waiting for news on Ted's whereabouts, hoping and praying he wouldn't be delayed too much in getting home?! Time is flying!

We had decided awhile ago that we would have a separate "Christmas" when Ted got home. He had fun shopping for everyone and finding unique gifts from Afghanistan, and the kids wanted to exchange presents with each other as well. So we held off on some gifts until this week and planned for Saturday morning to be our Christmas Day together. That gave the kids time to earn some gift money! I didn't think of the idea until fairly close to Christmas, so it worked out, but here's how they did it. We kept an ongoing tally mark sheet on the refrigerator for each of them, and whenever I needed a little task done that wasn't a part of their usual chores, they could earn a tally mark or two for completing the task. Each tally mark was worth a quarter.

As time went on and I was mentally calculating how much each one was earning (I tried to give equal opportunities to do the jobs), I realized there was just no way they were going to earn enough money to give ALL of their siblings gifts. So we had a family meeting and discussed our options, and the kids decided that rather than split the money and buy little gifts for more siblings, they would only exchange one gift--Tobin and Arden would buy for each other, and Kenna and Charis would buy for each other, and Lucan and Zaden presumably wouldn't have a clue they were missing anything, LOL.

So anyway, having Christmas on Saturday allowed the kids to do their shopping for each other when they were out with Ted, as Tobin, Arden, and Kenna all had their dates with Dad during the week. Charis's date wasn't until Saturday night, so Ted took her and Lucan out to do a couple of other errands and the shopping as well.

Everything worked out beautifully! We enjoyed a fun, leisurely morning that actually almost felt like a real Christmas! You can see pictures and read explanations of the photos here. I took a wonderful nap after all was said and done, and Ted got me up to have lunch and finish our Catan game with the kids. Then he and Charis took off for their adventure--they went to church to meet other kids from Route 5:6 and went to Winter Jam in Columbus! Thankfully there were enough people that they drove the big bus, so Ted didn't have to drive. He slept all the way home, apparently! I think they had a lot of fun together!

Back at home, the boys checked out the new sports Wii game we got for the kids while I ran like a whirlwind around my kitchen, stocking up on some needed supplies after a few days of laziness! We had our pizza and movie night, and then after Lucan and Kenna were in bed, Stefanie came over to stay at the house while I drove to the airport to pick up Rhonda. Tobin and Arden waited up so they could see her and played with their new Legos quietly, so Stefanie got to enjoy some quality time with Zaden. :-)

Grandma got to tuck the boys in bed and chat with them awhile, and then she and I visited until Ted and Charis came home. Sweet reunion! I know Rhonda is just as happy that we are that her son is HOME!!!

R&R, Day 6

2012-01-28T09:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a very fun FAMILY day! It's been a juggling act trying to schedule one-on-one time for each child to have with Ted, but so far I think (I THINK) we've done a pretty good job of balancing our activities. The timing for various things has just worked out so beautifully; I know God's hand has been guiding us and blessing our time together. Many people have not only prayed for us to get through the deployment but are also praying for this R&R break, and I can certainly feel those prayers lifting us up! Special thanks to those who have been part of this journey with us!

So, highlights from our Friday together:

After a late breakfast, I had to run to base to pick up a prescription, leaving Ted and the kids to hardly notice I was gone while they made some serious progress on a Wii game. :-) We had lunch here at home and then loaded everyone up to go to a surprise somewhere. It was fun listening to the kids guess where we were taking them...even with the clue that no one in our family had ever gone to this event before and that it was NOT a restaurant, they still made all kinds of guesses that defied the parameters!

A dear couple from our church wanted to bless our family with some money to allow us to enjoy something together. So we chose an event, Discover the Dinosaurs, that was in the city for this weekend. I had looked at the web site when someone posted it on our church's homeschool Facebook page, and when I saw the prices, I immediately ruled it out. Not for our family! But the generosity of these friends changed all that!

We had both of the little boys in strollers, which was helpful since it was Lucan's nap time and he seemed content to simply observe from his seat, taking in everything around him! There was a considerable amount of noise from all the roaring of the animatronics. The lighting could also be a bit overwhelming. We were there on a Friday, so there was probably a lot fewer people than there surely will be today and tomorrow, so that did help. I was thankful that both Zaden and Lucan seemed to enjoy the stimulation and weren't upset by it all. Truly, I was surprised that there weren't screaming toddlers everywhere, but I suppose those who would have been upset by the scenes were probably ushered to the other side of the convention center where there were bounce houses and other entertainment in a non-roaring environment.

We actually made our way to the other activities shortly after arriving so that I could find a seat and nurse Zaden while the kids did some activities. Everything required tickets, and at $20 per 12 tickets, it was definitely steep for a family our size! Again, we were so grateful for the monetary gift we received, as it allowed us to purchase 24 tickets and disperse them among the kids.

Tobin, Kenna, and Lucan chose to go through a ginormous inflatable play area first, while Charis and Arden discussed the best way to maximize their tickets. They ended up splitting a small bag at the mining station and spent some time "mining" for pretty rocks--I thought they made a very wise choice! It allowed them to each have a little souvenir to take home plus conserve more tickets!

Kenna and Lucan spent some time digging around the "dinosaur bones" in a sand pit while Tobin did a mining activity as well. Charis and Arden both had enough tickets left to purchase necklaces. Arden found a cool obsidian arrowhead, and Charis chose a cut and polished heart stone. (Later, our sweet and thoughtful daughter took some of her own money and bought a similar necklace for Kenna, just because she wanted to!)

Once our tickets were spent (and it didn't take long!), we went back to the dino scenes and looked around for the answers to the scavenger hunt sheets we got at the door. That took us through all the displays, and we also spent time looking at a collection of REAL fossils. So hey, it was very educational, too!

The kids traded in their trivia sheets for little prizes, and then we all agreed we were ready to head home. It was way past Lucan's nap time, and we had hopes of him getting a nap before we went to church that evening. We did put him down, but the stinker never did go to sleep! However, the older kids and Ted and I played a game (or at least started a game) of Settlers of Catan while Lucan was in his bedroom, and that was a lot of fun! Kenna "helped" Ted play and did a fantastic job of saying "Harumph" when the dice didn't favor Daddy.

In the evening we went to church for dinner, fellowship, and a program that included games and an overview of 2011 with a vision for where God is taking Faircreek in 2012. It was a wonderful time, though we were pretty wiped out by the end! We left just a few minutes early, as I needed to nurse Zaden as soon as we got home. We managed to start a movie with the older kids but then went to bed when Daddy started snoring--loudly!--through the exciting scenes!

For more dinosaur pictures, go to my Facebook album!

R&R, Day 5

2012-01-28T06:51:00.001-05:00

Catching up so I don't forget...Thursday was a big day for Ted; thankfully the jet lag is getting better! We kept him on the go from morning 'til night!

Piano lessons continued as normal at the house. Arden went first so he could be ready for his date with Dad afterward!
Arden got to go to the Lego store and shopped (both for himself and for Tobin), then had lunch with Dad.
After coming home for a quick drop-off, Ted took Kenna out for her date with Daddy!
Kenna went with Daddy to Michael's to shop for Charis's Christmas present. Then they went to Friendly's for ice cream. Kenna had only been to Friendly's once before (last June!), but every time we pass there she comments on it and asks when we can go again. So I thought it would be a fun surprise for Ted to take her there...and yes, she was definitely excited.
Back at home, I made two loaves of bread--I'm now using flour from this company and hope to get a wheat grinding attachment for my KitchenAid mixer soon so that I can simply buy the soaked and sprouted wheat berries, then grind my own when I'm ready to bake. (Cheaper and more nutritional value that way.)
Those of us at home also enjoyed lots of Wii time together. :-)
I made a big dinner for us to have early since the boys had karate. One of our favorites: lemon chicken!
Ted took the boys to karate, where they had their first belt test. Both of them and their friend Logan passed, so they are now yellow belts!
While the boys were gone, we girls watched a Christy movie and had hot tea and Stroopies.
We got kids in bed at a reasonable hour, and Ted and I had some time to start a movie while I nursed Zaden for the last time.

I still need to get a picture of Arden with his Lego set and Ted!

Kenna Says

2012-01-25T21:55:00.005-05:00

Kenna, practicing her AWANA section for tonight with Daddy: "When they saw the star, they were over-cheerful."

R&R, Day 4

2012-01-25T21:50:00.000-05:00

Wow, time is ticking away! But today was the first day Ted did not take a nap, so we are making progress, LOL. Today's highlights:

Breakfast around the table with EVERYONE present! (Well, Lucan drifted in and out, but that's typical these days.) We had homemade berry and yogurt parfaits and enjoyed some yummy granola from our friends in India, who sent us a big box as a treat to enjoy while Ted is home!
Tobin's day out with Dad--they went to the Lego store with gift card and spending money in hand! (Grandma J gave the boys gift cards for Christmas.) Tobin also shopped for a Christmas gift for Arden with the money he has been earning recently for that purpose--we're doing a belated family Christmas probably Saturday morning.
At home, I held the other kids off from Wii for awhile at least; they colored and did puzzles; Arden and I played checkers (he beat me soundly); and Charis, Arden, and I played Chinese checkers (Charis won handily when Arden began blocking my brilliant, strategic path).
And then we all played Wii.
We ate a healthy lunch (much to their chagrin) while Ted took Tobin to McDonald's as part of their "date." (Ted passed on McD food and came home to polish off the chicken soup that was leftover!)
Tobin disappeared to his room to put his new Lego sets together.
Ted took Charis and Lucan out to do some errands. Charis did her Christmas shopping for Kenna. (The kids decided rather than spend piddly amounts on every sibling, they would simply exchange one gift--boys with boys, girls with girls. Lucan and Zaden are blissfully unaware of any such arrangement!)
Tobin and Arden played a Wii game from the library while Kenna watched and I prepped taco fixings for dinner.
Ted took the older kids to AWANA while I ate my own dinner (was nursing Zaden while everyone else ate) and cleaned up.
Lucan got an early bedtime (after stories with Daddy), then Zaden went down for his evening cat nap.
Ted and I started a movie together before time to pick up the AWANA kids.
Now Kenna is in bed, and the older 3 and I are going to watch American Idol while Ted goes to bed early.

R&R, Day 3

2012-01-25T00:54:00.000-05:00

Whew, this was an incredibly long day for me! Good, but busy.

Up early to enjoy coffee and quiet time with my sweetie. LOVED being able to discuss our Bible reading together and pray with each other in person!!!
Ladies' Bible study at church for me, Zaden, and Arden...Z was in the nursery, A in the arcade, waiting for...
Lunch and shopping date with Arden! He desperately needed new shoes and pants, so we hit the BX and found both. (Woohoo--two pairs of pants for $11 total!) We also purchased 2 more Wii remotes so we have a total of 4, a very good thing for our family!
Lunch in the food court: I brought a salad from home for myself and bought Arden a pizza/breadsticks combo, then treated him to ice cream. He was sooooo happy and so thankful! What a delight to be out with that boy!
Grocery shopping in the commissary--Arden pushed Zaden's stroller while I piled stuff into the cart.
Home to unload everything.
Meanwhile, Ted and the other kids were at home doing some cleaning, laundry, and quality Wii time!
After unloading groceries, Charis and I left for her orthodontist appointment.
Dropped Charis off at the house so she could join the Wii fest and drove to the farms to pick up eggs and milk.
Home...finally...and enjoyed SITTING and feeding Zaden while Ted made dinner.
Dinner as a family--lots to talk about together! So fun to sit around the table and share our "Joy, junk, Jesus" moments from the day! Then a devotional reading before the kids helped me clean up and Ted took a bit of a nap. (Darn jet lag!)
After getting littles to bed, Ted and I finished watching our Tim Hawkins DVD and then tucked the older kids in bed.

Sigh...no pics from today. I was hardly home!

R&R, Day 2

2012-01-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

Jet lag is a major downer. But we've managed to enjoy at least being together despite the exhaustion! Today's activities included:

Hot tea and a quiet time before kids woke up...Ted made me tea. :-)
Breakfast made by Ted (scrambled eggs with sausage)--it somehow tastes better when someone else cooks for a change!
A relaxed morning with kids playing or reading while Ted updated his laptop in hopes that it will work faster once he goes back overseas
A trip to the chiropractor--aaaaahhhh! My neck and right shoulder blade had so much tension, and I can't even express how much better I feel now!
An oops moment when we started to drive on base for a couple of errands only to realize Ted had left his ID at home...so much for that!
A trip with Tobin to return overdue books to the library and Kroger for some much-needed produce
A much-needed nap for Ted while kids played Wii and I did some laundry and kitchen work
Dinner with the girls and Lucan while the boys attended karate class
Haircuts for all the boys (except Zaden!)--our family barber is back now!
Cuddling on the couch with my sweetie watching the latest Tim Hawkins DVD
An early bedtime for ALL of us!

Ted reads a newly buzzed Lucan a bedtime story.

Sweet Moments

2012-01-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

Moments like this, at any other time, would be taken for granted and considered "normal." But when Daddy has missed the first 5 months of Zaden's life, these are precious times, indeed!

R&R, Day 1

2012-01-22T22:52:00.000-05:00

Highlights from Ted's first day home:

* Sunday morning pancakes and strawberries, a tradition that just isn't the same without Daddy!
* Attending church today and being overwhelmed by the love and support from our church family
* Watching Zaden's face light up when spending time with Daddy
* Lots of snuggles and stories on the couch
* Eating a family favorite lunch (pulled pork, squash bake, garlic green beans, almond flour biscuits) and sitting around the dining room table--not the kitchen table (which only seats 6), where the kids and I normally eat
* Boy bonding time watching the football games
* A 3-hour nap for me!
* Stove-top popped corn for dinner (coconut oil + sea salt = yum!)
* More cuddles on the couch
* Evening nap for Ted, still trying to adjust to a new time zone
* More cuddles on the couch while watching American Idol with the older kids

Waiting for Daddy!

2012-01-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

So ever since Ted notified us on Thursday that he would be on a flight from Afghanistan to Kuwait, we've been on pins and needles waiting for his arrival! We didn't have much communication from him during the duration of his travels, but we did learn that he was going through Germany to Atlanta and finally to Dayton. His scheduled arrival time was 5:36 pm on Saturday.

I was guardedly optimistic about this time, and the kids were doing happy dances all throughout the day. I hadn't planned anything at all for Saturday, not knowing exactly what would be happening. I was pretty much useless all day, although I did get one load of laundry finished and made 4 dozen banana muffins. Other than that, I spent my time reading, playing Wii with the kids, checking flight statuses online, and wandering aimlessly around the house, picking up random things while not being fully engaged in any sort of cleaning project. The kids were delighted to have such a distracted mom, as they ended up spending 98% of their waking hours in front of the television, first watching Animaniacs DVDs from the library, then playing Wii, and later watching a movie.

When the phone finally rang and I got to hear Ted's voice for the first time in a number of days, I was first relieved to hear he was stateside, but then disappointed with him that plans seemed to be changing. Atlanta was pretty much shut down due to poor weather, but his plane had needed fuel, so they stopped in Alabama, where they waited on the plane for 2 1/2 hours before getting refueled.

We next heard from him once he arrived in Dallas, where they had been rerouted because of the situation in Atlanta. He sounded SO exhausted! But the good news was that once he had cleared customs, he was able to get on a direct flight to Dayton. New expected time of arrival: 10:55 pm.

By this point it was close to dinner time at our house. I had originally planned for us to have snacks in the afternoon and then eat dinner as a family at Cracker Barrel after we picked up Ted, since we had eaten there the day we took Ted to the airport when he left for his pre-deployment training in New Jersey. Obviously this plan was going to have to change! Thank goodness for Trader Joe's frozen dinners, LOL. We enjoyed orange chicken and rice, and then, since the kids were driving me cuh-razy, I sent the boys to my neighbor Chris's house to borrow some movies.

They took a vote and settled down to watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and by the time that was over, it was time to pack up and head to the airport! I had decided not to worry about the late time and to just take everyone along. I mean, really, how often do you get to welcome your dad home from a war zone?! The good thing was that Lucan had napped from about 3:00 - 6:00, so he was definitely recharged and ready to go! Zaden, as usual, was on his perfect little schedule, so it was no problem getting him ready to go. We started the Suburban and let it warm up so I wouldn't have to kill myself chipping off a half inch of ice from the windshield!

We arrived in plenty of time...I had planned for us to get special passes and go through security to meet Ted at the gate. However, I neglected to update my plan with the change in arrival time, and security was closed! So we simply sat in an area across from the ticket counter and waited. I nursed Zaden, the kids played "football" with Lucan's stuffed dog, a pair of socks, and a scarf, and the kids took turns chatting with Grandma J, who kept us updated as to the plane's progress since she was watching online. "Now Daddy's in Indiana! He's crossing into Ohio! He's a quarter inch away from the airport!"

It was rather quiet at the airport at that time, which was just fine. The girls had made signs to hold up, and we made our way as far up as we could go without crossing the red line where the security guard sat. Finally...FINALLY...after 8 months...we saw Ted walking toward us! My tall, handsome, exhausted husband was finally HERE! I captured the reunion with the kids on video, then gave the camera to Charis, so the latter part of the reunion video is sideways, because she turned the camera. Still, it's pretty sweet. :-)

So, here we are! I didn't think to ask anyone at the gate to get a picture of all of us. I think Ted and I both felt a little awkward about making a scene...there weren't tons of people around, but everyone who WAS there was definitely watching our large family! I saw a lot of smiles, but no one talked to us, and I was kind of in my own little happy bubble. So the idea of getting a family picture never even occurred to me! I took this one of Ted with all the kids once we got to the parking garage.

So, he's finally here, for 15 days, anyway. But I suspect those 15 days will be most memorable!

So Faithful

2012-01-22T18:48:00.000-05:00

Eight months ago today we drove Ted (and his weapons and his ginormous deployment bags) to the airport. The year loomed before us, along with a considerable amount of fear, uncertainty, and worry. I remember going to church immediately afterward and sitting in the front with my friend Shirley, weeping my way through the song list. Every song that was picked that day was just what I needed, and I truly meant every word. Right now, all I remember is that we sang "Blessed Be the Name!"

(And as a side note, I've learned over the years that the sweetest times of worship are when we're going through hardship and STILL sing, whether a literal song or a lifesong, an offering of worship, a sacrifice of praise. Sometimes simply praising God truly IS a sacrifice--a sacrifice of our pride, our selfish desires, our agenda.)

Today, we are 2/3 of the way through this deployment, and Ted is home for 15 days of R&R. Once again, the songs at church were so meaningful! Before we even left for church, I was thinking of how faithful God has been. And one of the songs we sang was "Faithful God" by Josh Helms. It's my new favorite song. :-)

So I'll close this little post with the lyrics. I pray others will find this to be true for themselves!

Faithful God
Josh Helms

Closer than a brother, truer than a friend
Through valleys and mountains, the beginning to the end
For every failure, and every victory,
In every battle, you've been faithful to me!

Victorious, my redeemer
Glorious, brilliant dreamer
Faithful God, you have been faithful to me
Majesty, filled with wonder
Lavishly clothed in splendor
Faithful God you have been faithful to me

Author of redemption, creator and king
Before I drew breath, you were thinking of me
My past is forgotten, my future's secure
Faithful God, I am faithfully yours

Victorious, my redeemer
Glorious, brilliant dreamer
Faithful God, you have been faithful to me
Majesty, filled with wonder
Lavishly, clothed in splendor
Faithful God, you have been faithful to me

And as sure as the sunrise pierces the night sky
You will be there, you will be there
And as sure as the mountains, reach for the heavens
You will be there, you will be there

Victorious, my redeemer
Glorious, brilliant dreamer
Faithful God, you have been faithful to me
Majesty, filled with wonder
Lavishly, clothed in splendor
Faithful God, you have been faithful to me

The Saga Continues

2012-01-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

For those who have been following my nursing woes, I have a new update...I truly hope we're getting to the end of these updates! This morning I actually printed out a timeline to take to the doctor, which looks like this:

TIMELINE OF NURSING PROBLEMS

From the beginning, cracked and sore nipples due to poor latch. Then, for 4 weeks we used a Supplemental Nursing System until Baby learned to suck properly (through October 2).

October 29—Blocked milk duct on the right side. First experience ever in nursing 6 children. Milk blister appeared; after popping it with a sterile needle (I know! Sorry!), milk was able to flow through and block resolved after about 11 hours. (Note: All issues from here have been on the right side, same spots.)

November 2—Blocked milk duct; resolved within about 6 hours.

November 21—Blocked milk duct; resolved within 3 hours. Milk blister reappeared and was sore/tender during Thanksgiving week.

November 28—Another block; resolved within a few hours.

December 1—Blockage, ending with infection. Went to ER and was given a 10-day supply of antibiotics (started with an A…Augmentin?). Relief within hours of taking the first antibiotic. Took all medication as prescribed.

December 2—Appointment with Dr. Noya. Said milk blister should resolve with use of antibiotics.

December 5—Met with lactation consultant because the milk blister was still not going away. Hot compresses, Epsom salt soaks recommended and followed.

December 8—Small lumps in breast; tender but not painful.

December 9—Horrific vaginal yeast infection. Called the hotline, and a doctor (I think the one I saw in the ER?) prescribed a one-time dose (400 mg) of Diflucan over the phone. Lumps still present in breast.

December 10—Noticed the lumps in breast were gone. Added a 3-day yeast infection OTC treatment on my own because symptoms persisted, although not nearly as bad as initially.

December 12—Skin of milk blister broke apart (on its own) while nursing.

December 14—Appointment with Col. H-V, midwife, for assessment. Cultures taken; no yeast present. Nipple cream prescribed—use sparingly.

Used cream sparingly for a couple of weeks; milk blister got much smaller but never disappeared. Stopped using the cream when it seemed there was no pain, discomfort, or potential issues.

January 8—Blocked milk duct again, this time closer to the nipple instead of back farther in the breast. Took 15 hours of work before it finally went away. Following this episode, the milk blister reared its ugly head again and became more and more tender. Began using the nipple cream again, along with hot compresses and an Epsom bath here and there.

January 18—Another blockage after a lot of tenderness where the milk blister is. Called LC, who talked to the midwife, and was told to see my PCM.

*************

So, Dr. N saw me this morning, and after going through all of this information, he has put me on a new set of antibiotics, plus given me two Diflucan doses--one to take about a week from now, and one to take when the antibiotics are all gone. (I also went by the Vitamin Shoppe on the way home and stocked up on probiotics and will take those alternating with my 4 doses of antibiotics each day!)

In addition to the medication, he ordered an ultrasound, which, by God's grace, I was able to get done today instead of having to come back. Great news! First, I didn't have to get a mammogram--hooray! (Although I'm supposed to get one two months after Zaden is weaned because of my family history.) Second, neither the tech nor the radiologist see anything of concern, just greatly dilated milk ducts (which, presumably, the medication is going to address). So, no abscesses or cysts or anything else weird. That was a great relief!

Will you please pray with me that this issue will be resolved once and for all? Thank you! I feel that after all this I should be made an honorary lactation consultant! I do hope that God is using all these trials to refine me and make me more like Jesus. I often don't feel like it, more often complaining and asking "Why me?" and "When will this end?" instead of "How can I give You glory?" and "How can I let You be my strength?"

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-3

Charis's Tender Heart

2012-01-14T14:31:00.000-05:00

For AWANA this past week, Charis had an assignment to write a pretend letter to a missions agency asking for a job. Her finished product blessed me so much and brought tears to my eyes, and with her permission, I am sharing it here for others to see as well.

Dear ______________,

My name is Charis [last name]. I am writing to you to ask for a job as a missionary. I have always wanted to lead other people to Jesus. I know that it will be hard work and, in some cultures, possibly dangerous, but I feel strongly that God is calling me to do this.

Some of my good qualities are that I am: determined, trustworthy, perseverant, cheerful, compassionate, friendly, responsible, loving, gentle, generous, and dedicated.

I think I would make a good missionary because I am always ready to help people. I can guess what people are feeling most of the time so I can share their joy, comfort them, stand by them, and sympathize with them. I shine God’s light and spread His word wherever I go. I feel very sad when people sin, and I pray for them constantly. I have led some of my friends to Jesus already, and I am eager to lead more. I know I am young, but that doesn’t matter. 1 Timothy 4:12 says “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” I am confident that I would make a good missionary. It has been my dream for years, and I would be very disappointed if I didn’t get the job. However, if that is the case, I would know that God has a bigger, better plan for me.

I hope you will consider me for the job. Please contact me as soon as possible. I eagerly await your reply. Thanks in advance.

Sincerely,

Charis

Back to "Normal"

2012-01-14T14:29:00.000-05:00

Ben Franklin said, "Fish and visitors stink in three days." Well, I think it depends on what visitors you have! We thoroughly enjoyed having the H family stay with us this past week. I think Jen and I were mutually encouraged by each other's faith, and the kids learned a lot from playing together as well. Kenna and Lucan will be so lonesome next week without playmates Robby (5) and Abby (almost 7).

We just shared our last meal together, as Rob and Jen loaded up their things and headed home to some beautifully refinished floors, one more project crossed off their house to-do list before trying to sell it next year before moving. Lucan is now down for a nap, and the older boys are playing at a friend's house, and it is quiet indeed! It was fun having a friend here to share the week with me; I almost forgot what it was like to have adult conversation on a regular basis, LOL! My computer usage was extremely minimal, and I also enjoyed that--though I missed out on seeing what people were up to on Facebook, I was more than happy to take some time to make coffee or tea in the afternoons and sit and visit with Jen. It's so wonderful to have friends to share one's walk with Christ, and to be able to talk about parenting and other issues that we all face was very encouraging for us both, I think. I also enjoyed a bit of freedom to run errands or do what I had to do without kids tagging along.

We actually did manage to get through some schoolwork last week, too, which was a pleasant surprise, as I set low expectations and didn't figure we'd get much done. But we nearly completed a week's worth of core readings, so that was a bonus! That puts us close to finishing week 8 of our curriculum, and since I was hoping to get through 18 weeks before Ted comes home after his year away, I think we're pretty well on track for that to happen. We have approximately a week left before his R & R time, so perhaps we can make it to the halfway point, which is actually a quarter's worth of work in normal school terms! But given what we are experiencing this year, I'll take what we can get done!

House Guests

2012-01-09T21:08:00.000-05:00

This week we are enjoying the company of the H family, who is living with us while the floors in their house are refinished! They also homeschool two children, ages 5 and 7, and both are very fun and energetic. They all "moved in" last night, and the kids have had a blast! I was thankful they came yesterday so Jen was able to help put little ones to bed; I was fighting ANOTHER blocked milk duct (slightly different area this time) that didn't fully resolve until just before I went to bed at midnight. Sigh.

Anyway, thankfully I woke feeling MUCH better this morning, and things still seem fine on that front. Jen took her kids plus Kenna and Lucan to a metro park this morning, then out for lunch and to church with her for a service project. It was wonderful...Charis, Tobin, Arden and I curled on the couch and did Sonlight reading for nearly two hours! It felt good to focus on my older kids and get some schoolwork done without so many little interruptions.

In the afternoon Jen and I enjoyed coffee/hot tea and conversation; it was so nice to be able to visit while the kids played! And boy, did they play HARD! They were all starving (apparently!) all day long and VERY ready for bed by time evening came...that was quite apparent in their behavior, ha!

Jen made a yummy chicken and black bean soup for dinner, and then I went to get some groceries. I'm headed to bed as soon as I can write up the assignment sheets for my school kids so they can get work done at church tomorrow while I attend our first Bible study session of the year, Beth Moore's new study James: Mercy Triumphs. Can't wait!

Planning Our Getaway

2012-01-06T15:37:00.000-05:00

So in roughly two weeks Ted should be en route for HOME! Only for 2 weeks, but still. We've spent the last 8 months apart (with one week together between training and deployment), so as you can imagine, we're just a TAD bit excited.

We're trying not to plan TOO much, but some things simply must be scheduled, starting with our number one priority--our own time away without the kids! Rhonda will be coming for a few days in the middle of Ted's R&R time so that she can spend some time with him plus help babysit the kids so we can go away for a night.

So the past couple of weeks I've been scouring web sites, trying to find a B&B. Things just were not really coming together; either it was kind of a lengthy drive, or a little on the pricey side, or already booked. So I finally just made a reservation at a nice inn on the recommendation of a B&B owner who was booked. I found that I could get a luxury suite with king-sized bed and a jacuzzi for $99. That seemed like a great deal! But I was rather disappointed that it wouldn't be a B&B experience...we'd be on our own for meals. Still, a jacuzzi!

Well, last night I got a voice mail from a soon-to-be B&B owner. I had called the location to inquire and was told that they were in the middle of selling the place! They took my name and number, but I wasn't sure whether to actually expect a call back or not, and after a day or so, I just booked the aforementioned luxury suite. After reviewing the voice message, I decided it wouldn't hurt to call the new owner today and see what she had to say.

I am SO glad I called! We had a lovely conversation. She is a believer in Christ also and purchased the B&B partly for ministry opportunities! We will be her first customers (and the only ones that night), so we will have the place to ourselves. She wanted to give us a special deal because of our unique situation, so she is only charging us $75!!! She offered to go and get us dinner if we want to order out rather than go back out after checking in, and she said we could stay as long as we want on Monday. She even offered to let Grandma and the kids come and check the place out on Monday--there are 3 acres and a barn to explore! She didn't even take my credit card info over the phone...it was really a God-directed opportunity for us both, I think. Of course there will be a nice breakfast spread for us, plus fresh fruit and snacks.

Because of the set-up...she offered us access to the other room, which is adjoining...I actually think we will take Zaden with us. I was a little concerned about trying to pump the whole time we're gone. But if he can sleep next door to us, we can still enjoy couple time and I will be much more comfortable while we're away from home. Plus, it will give Ted some extra time with his new son whom he has yet to meet as of right now! Zaden is such a sweet, easy baby that I think it won't take away from our couple time at all to have him with us. And hopefully that will make things easier for Rhonda, who will be home with the other 5!

I'm deliriously excited!

A Week Off

2012-01-01T22:07:00.000-05:00

I LOVE the week between Christmas and New Year's! The last week of December 2011 was a great time of catching up on sleep, eating leftovers, being lazy, reading, playing games, and enjoying my kids. We did manage to keep up with laundry and at least a minimum of cleaning...having a new Wii game was great motivation in that department. I have to confess I've gotten into the Wii craze myself; I hadn't really played anything since last Christmas when we first got it! But it's been a blast to have the kids take turns playing something with me. Now, we just need to get two more "Wii-motes" (as we call them) so we can do 4-player games! Ted is looking into that so hopefully we can surprise the kids with that when he comes home for R&R in a few weeks.

I feel as if I hardly even did any cooking last week, since Denise sent me home from our Christmas Day feast with so many leftovers! I think I did make spaghetti one night, and we did a crock-pot pulled pork (which also has lasted a few days) and homemade pizza for our movie night. I'm not looking forward to having to figure out what we're going to be eating for the next week or two! Time to get out the pencil and paper and get back to menu planning!

Now that I think of it, we didn't really go anywhere or do much of anything besides be lazy and play, ha! The day after Christmas we did go to my friend Erin's house for a couple of hours to visit and play. Then on Friday my friend Claire brought 7 of her 8 kiddos to the house to visit, as they were in Ohio for the holiday. It was great fun to catch up with her. We saw each other in the summer, so it was neat to see how the little ones have grown...and how her oldest son is looking and sounding more like a man than a boy now! Time is flying!

For our movie night on Friday we watched an Animaniacs DVD from the library. Oh, so much fun! The kids hadn't seen any of those cartoons before, but they quickly became fans, and now they are singing the theme song loudly with me whenever we think about it. We look forward to watching more together. It brought back great memories of my college days, when Megan and I would walk over to Maddox dorm to watch episodes with Jenny, Kim, Natalie, and Penni. Oh, the good old days!!

Considering it was December, we also had some pretty good weather last week--mostly sunny days with the temps in the 40s or 50s even. I was just starting to think that maybe we'd get away with a mild winter, but today the temperature dropped while we were in church, and it has been terribly cold, windy, and rainy all afternoon.

So, it's back to...reality?!...tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment in the morning, so I'm not sure how normal our day will really be. Then again, I feel as if we don't really HAVE normal days around here anymore anyway!

Christmas Day

2011-12-29T18:33:00.001-05:00

Considering the head of our home is on the other side of the world, we had a very wonderful, blessed Christmas! As hard as I tried to get up really early, I didn't actually wake until about 6:30. By the time I finished nursing Zaden, I was hearing footsteps on the stairs...and Tobin came marching down, ready to begin the festivities! (As an interesting side note, he was the last one awake the night before, having raced down the stairs to look at a clock to see what time it was! I sent him to bed at 11:30 pm, so who knows how long he was awake after that!)

While I had managed to get the stockings stuffed before Tobin arrived downstairs, I had done nothing else. So, as I have been doing a lot this year, I took a deep breath and released all my preconceived ideas of how the day should go. Really, who cares if Mom gets a shower before present-opening time anyway?! Tobin was more than happy to help me carry gifts from my bedroom to put under the tree, and then he was off again, storming into his siblings' rooms and waking them up before I even had a chance to put the tea kettle on so I could get some caffeine in my system.

I managed to hold everyone off until around 8:00, which was when Ted had thought he would be able to Skype. (He got the whole day off for Christmas! Woohoo!) I ended up letting the kids open their stockings after they were all cozy in their spots in the family room--complete with big, fluffy pillows (an early Christmas gift I got them), stuffed animals, blankets, miniature Christmas trees, and who knows what else, probably a partridge or calling birds or something.

One smart thing I did was to forget about planning and cooking a fancy breakfast. Instead, the kids got breakfast in their stocking, a variety of fun snacks from Trader Joe's, including kettle corn, fruit leathers, dried mango, and gingerbread cookies. Along with hot tea (which I finally did get to make), it made for a fun and easy breakfast. By the time we were finishing that, Daddy called! We set the computer up in the dining room and read the story that goes with our Advent calendar, allowing everyone the opportunity to place Baby Jesus in the manger at the end. Then Ted prayed, and then we settled back in the family room for gifts. I tried placing the computer in one corner of the room, and I think Ted was able to see fairly well.

And the next hour was just chaos! So much for opening presents one at a time, in order from youngest to oldest! Before we could blink, Lucan had ripped off the wrapping paper and opened Charis's present from Clint and Ski! I realized something was wrong when I saw a purple watch in the box! Our gifts included items that were delivered anonymously, but I suspect came from a support squadron on base or something, since the note was "to an airman's family" thanking us for our service and sacrifice. They had our names written on the gifts, and really, whoever did the shopping picked some great stuff! The kids really enjoyed what they received, and I guess they figured you can't go wrong with lotion and fuzzy socks for Mom. :-)

Since Lucan had no concept of waiting his turn for gift opening, things sort of fell apart from there, so I just did the best I could as far as keeping track of who got what from whom. By the time the frenzy was over, the house got really quiet as kids played with new items! Ted was able to be on Skype with us for about an hour and a half! I hope it wasn't too depressing for him to watch all the commotion from the other side of his screen; I know it certainly helped us feel like he was still a part of our special celebration.

We had a simple lunch of leftovers, and I finally got a shower while the older kids tried out their new Wii game from Joel and Sarah. We also did some activities from our church's "Hope-full" box that they had handed out to each family; there were some fun things in there to help us keep the day focused on Christ, including a "Born to Die" ornament, coloring pages, word searches, a DVD, conversation starters, and other activity suggestions.

After attempting to give Lucan a chance to nap (ha), we loaded everyone up and went to Shane and Denise's house for a big feast. Shane, or Toupe, as he is better known to his Air Force friends, was Ted's boss both at Nellis and our first year back here in Ohio. They are wonderful friends who adore having kids over (they don't have kids of their own yet), and our kids enjoy going to their home. When they invited us for Christmas dinner, we were all very happy to say yes! Denise and her mother-in-law had an amazing spread for us, and Shane and his brother fried two turkeys and also had a ham prepared. There were potatoes and gravy, sweet potato casserole with orange zest--yum!, green bean casserole, corn, cranberry-apple casserole, and probably other stuff, too. It was all so wonderful! And, as you can see, Flat Daddy made an appearance at the table with us! Also in the picture is a single guy, Sgt. Walters, whom Shane and Denise invited as well.

Patty, Shane's mom, had bought a bunch of activity kits to give to the kids. Now we know where Shane and Denise get their generous spirit! Charis was in craft heaven, and Kenna adored spending time with "Grandma Patty" working on a sticker book. Lucan spent most of the evening playing with a Fisher Price tractor with animals in a trailer, and I reveled in the time to visit and relax and watch the kids enjoy themselves. I brought our Advent Book along, since we just had not had enough time to read it at home, and we read through that with Denise and Patty.

We headed home around 8:00 that evening, loaded down with tons of leftovers--I haven't had to cook all week! From start to finish, it was a wonderful, wonderful day. Obviously the only thing that could have made it better would have been having Ted with us, but considering the circumstances, we really did have the best Christmas possible. "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!"

For more Christmas pictures, go here.

Family Letter 2011

2011-12-26T22:04:00.001-05:00

Our annual Easter letter is…a bit late for 2011 or quite early for 2012, take your pick! :-)

TED—is a Lt. Col. select and has completed 7 months of a year-long deployment at Kandahar AB, Afghanistan. He stays sane (mostly) with music as part of the chapel praise team and manages to squeeze in time for Air War College work when he’s not chasing down the people he’s supposed to be training. He reads on his Kindle during all his spare time in the bunker during rocket attacks and Skypes the family when the stars align and our schedules don’t conflict. He welcomes packages, particularly ones that include Oreos, K-Cups, and/or homemade goodies of any sort. (Email me if you'd like his address!)

BEVERLY—is holding down the fort in Ohio with much help from our Faircreek Church family and amazing friends and neighbors. She said goodbye to the remains of her sanity long ago and has finally accepted the fact that nothing will go as planned this year! Ladies’ Bible study and drama, music, and Kitchen Kindness team ministries give her a much-needed outlet, plus a break from homeschooling and the endless tasks of managing a household solo. She attempts to keep Ted and others updated via the family blog.

CHARIS (11)—just wrapped her 3^rd production with the local youth theater and continues to excel in the arts (drama, piano, poetry, crafts). A highlight of her year was catching Baby Zaden in the delivery room! She is a beautiful young lady, inside and out, and Daddy just might hang on to those issued weapons to ward off unworthy suitors! She is an amazing help to Mom and is very sensitive to the Lord’s leading. Her thoughtfulness and generous spirit bless us all.

TOBIN (9)—continues his quest to read every book in the library before we move. When we can’t find him, he is usually curled up in his closet reading or hatching a new plot for a spy game. During the rare moments he isn’t reading, his preferred way of passing time is playing Wii, although he recently has gotten involved in karate and continues to enjoy piano lessons. Tobin is the truth-speaker in the family, announcing loudly when someone isn’t on track!

ARDEN (8)—is a constant ball of motion! Karate has especially been good for him, and you can see him practicing his moves all around the house. Other interests include piano, Bakugan, and of course Wii. He hasn’t yet fallen in love with reading in the same way his older siblings have, but he does love listening to read-alouds. He tolerates school as a means of earning tickets to use for other fun activities. He is silly yet gentle, with a sensitive heart.

KENNA (4)—is a pink-and-purple, covered-with-sparkles ball of energy! She sings, dances, plays, and eats like there’s no tomorrow. She bosses younger brother Lucan around and adores baby brother Zaden, apparently thinking that we brought him home as a special gift just for her. It’s very fun to watch her in a big sister role; it’s almost like reliving the days when Charis was her age and had two little brothers! She knows her mind and speaks it loud and clear most days!

LUCAN (2)—continues to amaze and delight us with his easygoing personality. I couldn’t have asked for an easier toddler to care for during Daddy’s absence. He entertains himself for hours with puzzles and building-type toys, but he does love having someone read to him or play silly games with him. His verbal skills are exploding, which makes it difficult to have him in the room when we’re trying to do history or science reading with the older kids!

ZADEN (4 mos.)—is absolutely the easiest baby we’ve ever had…if you don’t count all the nursing issues Mom has experienced with him, but that’s not really his fault! He is happy, healthy, and alert during wake time and sleeps well. Mom wakes him after 8-10 hours at night and often after his naps, too. He lights up when his siblings fuss over him, and he rewards their efforts with coos and smiles. He favors his thumb and has the family trademark long eyelashes.

We are ever so grateful for the many, many people who are praying us through this year apart. We look forward to spending 15 days together during Ted’s R&R time in January/February, and we especially look forward to being reunited for good in May. Sometime between now and then we will learn what our next assignment will be. In the meantime, we continue in the places and roles to which God has called us for this season, leaning on Him and learning what it means to love Him wholeheartedly, trust Him completely, and follow Him unreservedly. We pray the same for you.

“To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” Jude 24-25

Little Successes

2011-12-15T22:05:00.001-05:00

Since we are in Survival Mode, I am learning to find joy in Small Triumphs. Really, when I think about it, the fact that I feed 7 people 3 times a day, every day, is in itself a small miracle, especially given the fact that I rarely get to a grocery store without extra people hanging all over the cart, begging for gum and asking if it's time to go home yet. So when I'm feeling discouraged about how little schooling we are actually doing this year, I try to console myself with that: "Hey, at least we're all eating!" Considering what we went through with Zaden in the fall, this is indeed an accomplishment!

But alas, there is more to life than filling our stomachs. And while it seems we have been "doing school" for months on end, we have, in fact, barely finished week 6 of our Sonlight curriculum. So completing schoolwork is not exactly something I can crow about. Since this is a huge part of my current job description, it would be easy for my type-A persona to panic about how useless I really am.

Today, however, I have accomplished Something! I paid bills! Even the power bill, which apparently got overlooked in October, resulting in a few dollars' late fee added to the hefty October/November statement. So, yay me! Our finances are up-to-date! Even better, I have enough money to go grocery shopping tomorrow! (And I'm going alone, thanks to my friend Shirley!)

Other recent Small Triumphs include:

Writing the ~~Easter~~ Christmas letter
Ordering pictures to go with the letter
Stringing Christmas lights around the house, a la dorm room fashion (I neglected to tell the girls that if they wanted lights ON the Christmas tree, they should go on BEFORE the ornaments)
Finding 4 pairs of Tobin's underwear in the laundry last week (previous scores included 1 and 0)
Realizing that Lucan is saying "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome" without being prompted
Hearing Charis say that her favorite thing about Christmas is giving presents to other people
Listening to the older 3 quote Psalm 103 from memory
Hearing Kenna pray for Mommy's back to feel better
Discovering that Tobin is becoming a bit of a neat freak--whoa! How'd that happen?!

Really, when I think about it, I realize that the true successes have nothing to do with academics and everything to do with character. True successes involve our relationships with each other and with Jesus. Maybe it took a season of chaos to help me REALLY learn what it means to lean on Jesus...and even what it means to be a homeschooling family.

And More Random Thoughts

2011-12-12T15:14:00.001-05:00

1. Beginning to wish I had just paid the $80 for another crib tent for Lucan. From the thumps I am hearing overhead, apparently he is taking flying leaps off his bed instead of napping.

2. My parents have been here for a short visit--hooray! They got to see Charis' play yesterday, despite Mom being sick all Saturday night with a stomach virus--boo. Praying no one else in the family gets sick, especially since Mom and Dad leave tomorrow for Wisconsin. Not sure I can handle a stomach virus with 6 kiddos on top of everything else I'm dealing with!

3. The milk blister/mastitis/etc. saga continues. Friday I got a dose of Diflucan after it was obvious that my body was dealing with yeast. The good news is that the lumps in my right breast cleared up. I am still dealing with the milk blister and reduced milk production on that side, but this morning the skin of the blister itself finally broke apart (no needles! I promise!), and I am hoping that MAYBE, FINALLY, we can see some healing. I have an appointment with the midwife on base to do more specific assessment on everything that's been going on. My lactation consultant and I are going to be pretty darn close after all this!!! She has been wonderful. I feel like I should be a case study for breastfeeding problems...you name it, I've had it, all in the last 3 1/2 months!!

4. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...exploded all over the house. I've turned the kids loose with the decorations and have decided I will not say a WORD about how things look. (By nightfall, however, the Thanksgiving decorations WILL be back in the storage closet in the basement if I have to repack everything myself to get them down there.)

5. The kids decorated the Christmas tree a week ago, so we did have a little bit of Christmas in the house before mid-December.

Today's Random Thoughts

2011-12-05T20:55:00.000-05:00

1. Rain. Meh.

2. I'm trying to resign myself to the fact that this Christmas, like our school year, is just not going to look or feel the way we're used to.

3. Double the listening pleasure--place a monitor next to two children playing loudly in the bathtub and hear them at an even higher decibel level while cleaning the kitchen!

4. Currently, Zaden is pooping 3 times a week.

5. Currently, Lucan is pooping 3 times a day.

6. I'm really looking forward to the day I can stop monitoring my children's poops!

7. Milk blisters--they don't do a body good. I saw the LC on base today, and we ruled out thrush. I'm doing all the right things...just a matter of time, I guess, before this fully heals. In the meantime, I'm praying for patience! And trying not to be too concerned about the fact that the milk supply on that side seems to be decreasing. :-P Maybe it's time to start up the fenugreek again.

8. Do you ever hide children's library books so you don't have to read them aloud anymore? Or am I the only one? I'm just a little bit tired of The House on Hester Street. It's nothing personal.

9. Eight o' clock in the evening seems like a perfect bedtime to me. Too bad it never happens for anyone other than Lucan and Kenna.

10. So. Incredibly. Exhausted. Can we really make it 5 1/2 more months?!

More Nursing Woes

2011-12-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

I blogged awhile back about my first experience with a blocked milk duct. It apparently did not fully heal/resolve right away, as I had the same problem in the same place on November 4, 21, 28, and 30. During the beginning of all this a milk blister appeared, and it seemed likely that the blister was the cause of the blocks, since I had to work to get milk to come out of that area, and even when it did come out, it wasn't flowing as freely as it should. I called Tricare on the afternoon of the 30th and set up an appointment to have the milk blister looked at. The appointment was for Friday morning, Dec. 2.

Later that evening (the 30th), I went to bed feeling that things were "off." I had done what I could to help prevent/relieve a blockage, but it wasn't resolved when I went to bed. Sure enough, I woke in pain at 3 a.m. and woke Zaden up to nurse. After doing everything I knew to do (from extensive reading on the internet!), I was exhausted and very frustrated.

God is so good and gracious! That morning my friend Shirley had planned to come to our house to be with the kids so I could go out and run errands. I told her when she called that I was not up to running errands, but I would be glad for her to be with the kids so I could take a nap. Meanwhile, my friend Bethany, who had read a note from me on Facebook about my woes, called to ask if she and her husband could bring a meal to us for that evening.

The day progressed with Shirley reading to and playing with the younger kids and overseeing piano lessons, lunch, etc. By the time I was nursing Zaden in the early afternoon, it was obvious something was wrong, as my skin on the affected side had turned a bright red. I called the lactation consultant, who told me that if I couldn't change my Friday appointment to get seen that afternoon, I needed to go to the ER. The family health clinic did not have any afternoon openings, so off to the ER I went with Zaden and my neighbor Chris. I was SO thankful that Shirley was able to stay and help with the children--the older 3 had activities in the evening, and arrangements were made for all of that to happen without me.

Thankfully things went all right at the hospital, other than having to wait an hour or so in the waiting room. I got some antibiotics to take and came home. Shirley shooed me to bed, so I lay down for about an hour or so and woke to a quiet house--she had put Lucan and Kenna in bed, and the older three weren't yet back from karate and play rehearsal. Though I woke feeling shaky and having a slight fever, I felt much better overall. The redness was much improved, as was the pain and discomfort. I was so thankful Shirley had been able to arrange her schedule to be at my house for a total of nearly 12 hours! Her help and encouragement were invaluable.

By the time I nursed Zaden for the last time (after Skyping with Ted following the return and bedtime of Charis, Tobin, and Arden), I was feeling SO much better, and that was with only one pill!

The ER doctor wanted me to keep my Friday morning appointment, so Zaden and I went to base early in the morning while Jessica stayed with the other kids. (The older 3 never even knew she was here, as they slept the whole time I was gone!) After hearing my whole saga and the list of all the things I had been trying, the doctor said that I had done everything EXCEPT antibiotics and said that the milk blister should resolve once the infection is all cleared up.

So, that's where I'm at now: taking antibiotics and keeping an eye on things. The blister did indeed lessen quite a bit yesterday, but I have noticed this afternoon that it is back, as large as ever, and milk is not flowing very readily through it. :-( I guess I need to continue to be vigilant with the Epsom salt soaks, hot compresses, etc. I had not done those things as much since I was seeing improvement, and let's face it, I don't have a lot of time to be doing anything that isn't absolutely essential!! Please pray with me that this issue will be fully resolved, once and for all, and that I don't have any recurrences once this round of antibiotics is finished!

30 Days of Thanksgiving

2011-11-30T19:59:00.000-05:00

The November 30 Days of Thankfulness Challenge: I posted these on Facebook each day in November. (OK, so I missed a day here and there and doubled up now and then, but overall, I made it all 30 days!) I wanted to record them all in one place.

Day 1: I am thankful for my God who never forsakes me.

Day 2: I am thankful for God's powerful, sustaining Word.

Day 3: I am thankful for the most amazing, thoughtful, wonderful husband I could ever have dreamed of. I love you, Ted Jacobson!

Day 4: Not only am I thankful for Ted (day 3), but I am especially thankful for his godly leadership in our home and his faithful commitment to Jesus. "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" Proverbs 20:6

Day 5: I am thankful for my sweet firstborn girl, Charis, whose tender heart and unselfish spirit continually amaze and inspire me. I am thankful that we can share so many things together through a mutual love of cooking, reading, writing, stamping, and fussing over babies. :-)

Day 6: I am thankful for my firstborn son, Tobin, whose wit keeps me laughing even when I'm in a bad mood; whose intellectual curiosity keeps me on my toes; and whose ability to spin a tale keeps me on my knees!

Day 7: I am thankful for my sweet, gentle Arden, whose tender spirit touches my heart even as his boundless energy drives me crazy! I love his heart for other people and the way he prays for the nations to know Jesus. I love how he still adores his 22 stuffed animals yet wants to be a football player when he grows up. :-)

Day 8: I am thankful for my joyful, bouncing Kenna, whose squeals of delight over every little thing make life so much brighter. I am thankful for her willing obedience (most of the time!) and her tender care for her baby brothers as well as for her feisty spirit and stubborn streak that indicate a determined, purposeful drive to achieve her goals!

Day 9: I am thankful for my loveable little Lucan, who is (so far) the easiest 2-year-old I've ever had! His smiles and cuddles, funny noises and silly antics, tuneless little songs and Muppet-armed runs make our whole family smile with delight.

Day 10: I'm thankful for my bright-eyed baby Zaden! I'm thankful that he is a happy, healthy baby and that I am exclusively nursing him--not something I take for granted after his first month! I'm thankful that he is such an "easy" baby and that he sleeps pretty well most nights. And I'm thankful that he'll get to meet his daddy in just over 2 more months.

Day 11: I am thankful for Skype and the internet, which allows me to keep in touch with my veteran reasonably well--just not this week. :-) But even more, I'm thankful for the freedoms and comforts we enjoy in this country. It's not a perfect place, but people, we need to realize what we've got!

Day 12: I am so thankful for the Church, the Body of Jesus Christ. I have always loved my local church wherever it has been, but I am especially thankful for Faircreek Church and the many brothers and sisters in Christ who are helping to carry our family through this deployment. As a military family who has never been able to live close to our blood relatives, we are extra grateful for the church family.

Day 13: I am so very thankful for the godly heritage I have. I can never thank Mom and Dad enough for how they have poured out their lives like a drink offering to the Lord--and as a result, I have a strong, unwavering faith in our God and an unquenchable thirst for His Word. Their example, even more than their words, taught me what it means to live for Him. Thank you, John and Irene Keist! I love you both more than words can say!

Day 14: I am thankful that Zaden is now sleeping through the night! Five nights in a row he has slept until I've awakened him!

Day 15: I am thankful for many, many godly friends that have touched my life over the years. From growing up in Texas (Reinhardt Bible Church, Garland Christian Academy) to graduating in Wisconsin (Faith Christian School), from attending Cedarville University in Ohio to marrying an Air Force man and living in San Angelo, Mountain Home, Dayton, D.C., Las Vegas, and back to Dayton--God has provided amazing friends along the way who not only make life fun but also spur me on to a closer walk with Jesus. I love you all!

Day 16: I am thankful, on this C-O-L-D night, for our warm house. And hoodies. And flannel pants. And fuzzy blankets.

Day 17: I am thankful for MUSIC! I am thankful my parents gave me the gift of piano lessons starting at age 7 and that I can sit down and play songs with various praise teams at the churches God leads us to. I am thankful for the love my kids have for piano lessons and for their sweet teacher, who comes to our house Thursday mornings for their lessons. I am thankful that I met my husband in a mosh pit at the Cornerstone Music Festival. And I am thankful that Ted has received blessing and encouragement from being part of the praise team at Kandahar!

Day 18: I am so thankful for my wonderful mother-in-law! I love her so much and am thankful that we have a good relationship. I honor her for the wonderful job she did in raising her sons Ted and Joel Jacobson. I'm thankful that she will get to spend the whole week of Thanksgiving with us in Ohio! The one regret is that Dad Jacobson can only be with us in our hearts, as he is home in heaven now. I am thankful for the time I did get to spend with him on earth...even if it was too short.

Day 19: I am thankful for good food. We never lack for good things to eat, though many folks don't know where their next meal is coming from. Our food journey this year has taught our family how to eat real and healthy food, and I'm thankful for what we've learned. I'm thankful for the many creative foods God put on the earth and for the creativity people show in putting recipes together. And finally, I'm especially thankful for chocolate. :-D

Day 20: I am thankful for rest. Sunday afternoon naps = a happier mommy. God definitely had a great idea with that rest-one-day-a-week command.

Day 21: I'm thankful that my family is healthy. Yes, Charis is coughing this week, and Kenna has a little sniffle. The boys deal with allergies, and I've had a few blocked milk duct issues. But overall, we are all blessed with good health...not something to take for granted. Thank you, Lord!

Day 22: Today, my 37th birthday, I am thankful for many things: my relaxing massage this morning; a yummy lunch during which I did not have to get up ONCE to help a small person with something; uninterrupted time to think and enjoy the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the Dayton Art Institute; and the honor of reading so many well wishes from dear friends on my wall. Wow! I am so blessed!

Day 23: I am so thankful that this deployment is HALFWAY OVER!!! 6 months down, 6 to go!

Day 24: I am thankful for all that God is teaching me about Himself this year.

Day 25: I am thankful for sunny days! I know my mood shouldn't match the weather, but it often does...so I'm thankful for cheery sunshine. When one lives in Ohio, bright days can't be taken for granted!

Day 26: I am thankful for our house. God always provides the perfect home for us wherever He puts us, and this one is perfect for our family at this season of life. I'm excited to see where He will take us next!

Day 27 : I am thankful for...never thought I'd say this...our TV. Kids playing Wii = a decent nap for Mom. Boys watching football = Mom making dinner in peace. Cuddling on the couch and watching The Amazing Race with the older kids = special time with them. We try to limit screen time, but I have to confess I'm thankful for the electronic babysitter on many occasions!!

Day 28: I am thankful for my chiropractor. Our family enjoys much better health (especially during the winter), and my back issues are pretty much non-existent these days thanks to Dr. Peltier!

Day 29: I am thankful for the ability to read and for the passion many of my loved ones have for reading. I don't get to enjoy my own selection of books nearly as often as I would like, but reading with little ones is a joy of its own. I'm grateful that our children all enjoy books and learning.

Day 30: It seems appropriate to begin and end this list with spiritual blessings, so on this final day of November, I am thankful beyond words for Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of all my praise, worship, energy, time, and resources.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T20:08:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful, relaxing Thanksgiving Day. As I blogged earlier, we didn't have our big meal until the evening, so we had plenty of time to relax and leisurely work on the menu for the evening. We had done a few things the day before, too, so that helped. One of my favorite parts of the day was working on our Thanksgiving posters together in the afternoon while the little boys napped. Even Grandma and I made posters!

Here are a few pics from the day. To view the whole album, go here.

Christine holds a wide-eyed Zaden.

Lucan and Ian play a duet!

The whole family--almost! Flat Daddy just isn't the same!

The Blessing Tree

Kenna's thankfulness poster--she did it all by herself! The letters she wrote aren't completely random; they spell out the names of her friends, and she had to creatively space things to fit everything in.

Charis was playing a game when I was taking pictures of the posters, and since she had put hers by Flat Daddy, I just took a picture of him holding it. :-)

Colin munches a turkey leg and watches the Bananagrams frenzy.

Birthday Lunch

2011-11-25T19:40:00.001-05:00

Not knowing that my friend Jen was plotting a surprise birthday party for me, I planned my own birthday lunch at The Cheesecake Factory! Ha! Well, you can never have too much cheesecake, right?! Funny that Jen made me a chocolate cheesecake for the birthday dinner she made for us! Rhonda and I ordered the pumpkin pecan and pineapple upside-down cheesecakes and split them. They were both heavenly! So was the complimentary coffee! But even better was sharing time with Mom, Stefanie, Chris, and Eilene. Below are a few pictures Chris took; to see more, you can view her Facebook album here.

Catching Up

2011-11-25T19:29:00.000-05:00

Oh, my! It's been a little while since I blogged. This week we had the privilege of having Rhonda here for Thanksgiving. Now that she's on her way back to Denver, I'm sitting here wondering where in the world the week went! Why can't all the weeks Ted is deployed go this quickly?! I'll type out some highlights from the last week or so, and then I'll do separate posts with pictures...assuming I have the time and energy to finish this little project!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18
We did a minimal amount of schoolwork and instead focused on a couple of service projects. We took a meal to some friends and went shopping for Operation Christmas Child boxes. Last year we purchased a little bit at a time and were able to do a LOT of boxes. This year, we did it all in one fell swoop and managed to pack 5 boxes for the same ages/genders of our older 5 kids. I chose the dollar spot at Target for this adventure--we got everything we needed there, for the most part, and it was much easier to keep tabs on everyone than if we had gone to the dollar store!

That night I went out. I knew only that my friend Jen had arranged for her husband to bring her two kids to my house and babysit all of the children (minus Zaden) and that was I supposed to meet her at her house. Well, since I saw Stefanie's minivan in the driveway when I pulled up to the H's house, I figured something was up! Sure enough, it was a surprise birthday party, and it was quite a treat. Jen fixed a delicious 5-course meal for us which included homemade chocolate cheesecake for dessert. Oh, my! Everything was wonderful, and best of all was getting to relax and visit with friends. I felt so honored and blessed.

SATURDAY
Charis had play rehearsal, and we did laundry and cleaned house preparing for Grandma J's arrival! Her flight arrived in the middle of the afternoon, so we were able to enjoy dinner and the evening together. I may have even gotten a nap before dinner...I can't remember!

SUNDAY
We attended both services at church, and then I took a nap in the afternoon before we ate dinner and headed back to church for a special Thanksgiving service.

MONDAY
We got to Skype with Ted in the morning, which was an extra special treat since he doesn't get to Skype with his mom. Later, Rhonda and I went out with some of my neighbor friends to The Cheesecake Factory for my birthday lunch! Jessica C babysat the kids. We took Zaden along and he did great! Good food, great friends...lots of fun!

TUESDAY
My actual birthday! Rhonda got me a one-hour massage for my gift, so after Skyping a bit with Ted, I headed out (right after a feeding!) to enjoy some alone time. I was gone for about 6 hours--WOW! Six hours with no kids! I must say, I never thought I'd WANT to be alone for my birthday, but considering the circumstances, I can honestly say it was heavenly! The massage was wonderful, and then I enjoyed lunch by myself and started a letter to Ted, a luxury of time that is rarely afforded these days. Then I drove to the Dayton Art Institute (and pumped in the parking lot!) and enjoyed seeing the Norman Rockwell exhibit. Oh! It was so wonderful! I'm so glad I went and did that. Then I picked up Chick-Fil-A (courtesy of Rhonda) to bring home for dinner. Rhonda took Charis and Kenna to the theater for Charis's dress rehearsal, so Rhonda and Kenna got to watch the show. Meanwhile, the boys had their karate class in our basement! If we can get a few more boys interested in joining, Sensei Steve R. says we can hold the classes at our house, which is fine with me!

WEDNESDAY
Grandma and Charis got some girl time this day. Charis had been saving her Michael's gift card to use when Grandma came, since Rhonda is the one who got it for her for her 11th birthday. They shopped and then went out for lunch together. I worked just a little bit on some Thanksgiving Day preparations, and then after the girls got back, I went out to get my hair cut (just a trim) and buy some groceries at Kroger. I know, what was I thinking?! We had most everything we needed for the dinner, but I did need to get a few items, and it's always nice to go shopping without kids in tow. After dinner we watched It's a Wonderful Life with some real stove-top popped corn!

THANKSGIVING
What a fun, relaxing day! Rhonda and I worked together on the food stuff off and on. We enjoyed spending time with the kids...watched the parade a little, made Thanksgiving posters like we did last year, and finally got ready for our big meal in the evening. We hosted 3 college kids from our Resolve to Read Sunday school class, and it was so fun to watch them interacting and playing with our kids. Colin, Ian, and Christine were just as silly with our kids as Ted would have been if he had been here--I think he would have been proud of some of the jokes and puns that came out! We added some leaves to our Blessing Tree and played games. And of course we enjoyed a full meal: turkey, make-ahead mashed potatoes, squash bake, green bean casserole, dressing, Waldorf salad, homemade orange-cranberry sauce (courtesy of Eilene), and rolls. We enjoyed chocolate-pecan pie for dessert with hot tea.

FRIDAY
Today was a little bittersweet. It was normal as far as doing laundry, getting things cleaned up, etc. I made a run to Trader Joe's and Meijers (kidless again!), but then we had to take Rhonda to the airport in the afternoon. I honestly cannot believe it's been a whole week! I can only pray that the coming weeks will fly by as well. I am not entirely sure what we're doing for Christmas, but I hope it's as fun and full of blessings as this Thanksgiving was.

Lucan Tidbits

2011-11-15T15:15:00.000-05:00

Praying with Lucan before his breakfast: "Dear God, thank you for Lucan and for his oatmeal." Lucan says, "You're welcome."

For unknown reasons, Lucan doesn't usually care to have the lights on in the family room. In fact, he often demands that they be OFF. Now that he can reach the light switch on his own, this can be tiresome, particularly for the siblings who are trying to read.

Likewise, for reasons known only to himself, it is not acceptable for the windows to be OPEN, even if we have a beautifully warm day and want some fresh air. With much screeching and loud protesting, Lucan will drag the footstool to the windows in order to reach the windows, pull them down, and close the curtains as if to say, "I said, WINDOWS DOWN!!"

When I'm reading a book to him, after he turns each page, Lucan says, "Mommy," as if to announce, "OK, the page is turned and you can keep reading now."

New favorite snack: almonds. He knows where I keep them and often tries to help himself.

Current sleeping location: either the big boy bed or the crib, depending on whatever his whim is! He can climb in and out of the crib, but he's been doing pretty well with napping nearly every day anyway. He has slept in the twin bed a number of times, and I can't figure out any sort of pattern, so I've taken to just letting him decide where he wants to be--BUT, we don't go back and forth! I'm not playing THAT game, not with 12 stuffed animals, two blankets, and a ginormous pillow to shuffle back and forth!

Still repeating everything we say in a monotone voice--very funny!

The Hardest Part of the Day

2011-11-10T22:11:00.001-05:00

For those who pray for us, I thought I'd share an almost daily struggle so that when you think of us, particularly during this time of the day, you can pray more specifically.

First of all, let me say that there is no way on God's green earth that we would be coping as well as we are if it weren't for God's grace and the power of prayer! I can really tell that people are lifting us up. Things are never perfect, but amazingly, my attitude has mostly stayed positive, and I'd like to think I've grown up a little since our last deployment! I have fewer pity parties, for example, but then again...that could be because I don't have time to even think, let alone throw a party that no one else is invited to, LOL!

That said, there are predictable times when I just want to turn in my military spouse badge and call it quits. This is the after-dinner-before-bedtime ~~Crappy~~ Snappy Hour (I'll try to keep it as positive as I can while still being real, how about that?!). This fun time happens on evenings when we don't have any other activities away from the house such as AWANA. Dinner time is usually a reasonably pleasant affair. We've been doing "Joy, Junk, Jesus" around the table, taking turns telling about a joy or highlight from the day, a "junk" (or low point) from the day, and a moment during the day that pointed us to Jesus. I got this brilliant idea from my friend Megan, who maybe does it with her kids at bedtime--I couldn't remember. But I was tired of having the kids eat and literally run away from the table. Darn it, if I spend upwards of an hour preparing the food that you mow through without even tasting, you'll at LEAST sit at the table and talk to me while I enjoy what I've made!

Ahem. Anyway. After dinner is over, the "fun" begins. It's definitely worse on evenings when the weather doesn't permit me to send the boys outside. At any given moment, any or all of the following could be happening in this house:

I am on the couch, nursing Zaden.
Lucan is heaven knows where, dumping who knows what onto the floor. When he finally passes close enough to the place where I am nursing Zaden, I catch a whiff of a different type of dumping.
Kenna is running around in her 26th outfit of the day, singing at the top of her lungs a song that only she knows.
Tobin and Arden are running cartoon-like throughout the house, i.e. in a puff ball of smoke, from which can only be seen various appendages and exclamation points. As they tumble through the house, the decibel level rises with their grunts, shouts, guffaws, and/or cries of alarm or rage.
Charis, my dinner-cleaner-upper-helper, has disappeared to read or craft without doing her job. Since she helps me in SO many ways, I try not to begrudge her alone time, but it IS frustrating that the one reliable offspring is nowhere to be seen in the midst of utter chaos.
The remains of dinner still need to be put away, and dirty dishes are pretty much on every horizontal surface of the kitchen.
The floor is covered with crumbs stuck to random spots of goo. And we just mopped yesterday!
The phone rings.
Someone knocks at the door.

And when I said earlier that any or all of the following could be happening, I am NOT kidding--quite often ALL of those bullet points are happening AT THE EXACT SAME TIME!!

So you get the picture of the frustrating level of chaos going on. Now add to that the fact that I most likely am functioning on sleep that happened from 10:30 p.m. to 3:30 a.m., with no nap in the afternoon. Because I physically cannot do a whole lot during this time period--I'm either nursing/caring for Zaden or trying to reduce the kitchen's level of chaos--my tolerance for shenanigans and noise has increased. A little. Why add to the chaos by yelling?! Oh, but I do. Just not (so much) for noise. Mostly for trying to stop an argument or to prevent something bad from happening.

Until.

It gets remotely close to someone's bedtime. Then, the chaos MUST STOP. I can't handle it anymore. I am tired of stepping over random toys and books. I am tired of walking into a different room and having my shoulders automatically slump because I'm so overwhelmed by the mess and disorganization. I am tired of the bickering, the complaining, the tattling. I am just tired of NOISE and MESS, and I want it to go away RIGHT NOW.

"Right now" to a grown-up = at least 45 minutes to a kid. Multiply that by 5 mobile children, and that is approximately how long it seems to take us to get the house and kids clean and ready for bed. I start this process at 7 or 7:30, hoping (in vain) that THIS will be the night that EVERYONE is in bed early so that I can enjoy some quiet alone time.

However, by the time everyone is in bed, it's time for Zaden to nurse again, and I'm so tired I can't even think straight, not that I've been able to do that all day. And of course once Zaden has finished nursing, I HAVE to get to bed immediately so I can have some hope of getting a decent stretch of sleep.

This part of the day is often challenging enough when Ted is home to help. We're both tired, and there are times we just look at each other and ask, "Do you think the kids will put themselves to bed?!" But it's infinitely more exhausting when I can't tag team with anyone. I do pray a lot during these hours...and while Jesus is a wonderful comfort and friend...well, His presence hasn't yet manifested in such a way as to clean the kitchen or change the diapers for me! But at least I know He IS with me!

I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. Probably 99% of the time I don't even feel sorry for me. This is just the way it is, and we get through it. And we'll continue to get through it. But I recognize this is a consistent challenge for me, and I could use all the prayers I can get! For patience, nay, "longsuffering;" for endurance; for joy and contentment despite circumstances that, humanly speaking, would typically drain anything of the like from one's heart.

And with that, it's time to nurse Zaden again and get to bed!

Arden's Birthday Party

2011-11-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

Whew, I can't keep up with anything these days. I don't want to overlook Arden by not posting about HIS birthday party, so here goes!

The Saturday after Charis's birthday party weekend we had some boys over to the house for Arden's party. I'm so thankful that he was an easy guy to plan for! I didn't even make invitations. Actually, I didn't even SEND invitations! I emailed a few moms and talked to one mom at church three days before the party!

Arden chose a Bakugan theme, a current obsession with the boys in our neighborhood. The boys who came brought their favorite Bakugan cards and figures, and they did their "brawling" in pairs all over the house. They did that for awhile, then we had Papa John's pizza, then they brawled some more, and then we had an ice cream cake from Ritter's, and then Arden opened presents, and they brawled some more and went home. Easiest. Party. EVER! Arden loved it, and so did all the boys!

Arden got a special birthday present from Daddy...Ted ordered an Avalanche jersey for him. We Skyped with Ted when Arden opened the package, and it was very fun for Ted to be able to hear and see the excitement!

The Supplementing of the Spirit

2011-11-01T06:55:00.002-04:00

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

I was clearing out one of my cupboards awhile ago. Before I relegated some of these items to a storage closet, I decided to snap a picture to remind me of a few of the lessons I've learned this year. Featured here are items I received from the lactation consultant who helped Zaden and me through our nursing trauma: a hand pump, bottles that went with the electric pump I borrowed, and the supplemental nursing system (SNS). For those who aren't familiar with the SNS (I wasn't before all this happened), you place breastmilk or formula inside the bottle, making sure the tubes are clamped off until the proper time. The bottle hangs around your neck, and the tubing gets taped to the breast you're nursing on. When the baby is latched on, you release the clamp, allowing milk to flow through the tubing so Baby can receive nourishment from both the SNS and Mom.

The whole process was sometimes stressful, always cumbersome, but undoubtedly exactly what we needed. Today Zaden is a champion nurser, and I have the honor of breastfeeding my sixth baby.

During our weeks with the SNS, I harbored a love-hate relationship with the contraption. I loved that my baby was gaining weight and that I was able to put breastmilk into it so he could be receiving all the nutritional benefits of my milk. I hated that it was such an ordeal to feed him. I even felt (rather unreasonably) a bit of jealousy that he would only nurse when he was getting the additional sustenance from the SNS. Every feeding was a reminder that on my own, I was unable to give my baby adequate nutrition.

Happily, that was all temporary. But it produced a startlingly clear picture of what the Holy Spirit does for us! An important spiritual truth was illustrated for me, as put forth in these verses:

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1 Cor. 1:18

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 1 Cor. 2:14

On my own, I am unable to comprehend God's Word and apply it to my life. Were it not for the fact that God's Spirit resides in me--since I received His Spirit at the moment of salvation--this whole Christianity thing would seem foolish to me. Without the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I could read my Bible, but I would not receive the nourishment needed to grow. This reminds me of Jesus's parable about the sower:

A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Matthew 13:3-8

Without allowing the Holy Spirit to fill me (Eph. 5:18), I will scorch and wither with no root; I will be choked by the thorns of this world. In order for the seed inside me to be nourished and grow, I need that supplemental nursing system--I need the Holy Spirit to feed me spiritually!

If there is one thing I've learned from Ted's deployment...from being a mother...from any situation in which I feel I'm in completely over my head...it's this: I am utterly, totally inadequate to do ANYTHING good. I am utterly, totally dependent on God to fill me, strengthen me, guide me, use me for His glory.

Today I am so thankful for the SNS and how it helped Zaden get to the point where he could nurse well. I am thankful for what God taught me during those difficult days and nights, and--truthfully--what He is still teaching me about leaning on Him. While I'm glad Zaden has outgrown the need for the SNS, I know I will never outgrow my need for Christ. I need all the help I can get. :-)

And Another Nursing Issue

2011-10-29T17:48:00.000-04:00

I'm going to record the details of today's experience in case I have opportunity to help someone else in this situation sometime! And for my own reference should this happen again...but Lord willing, I hope that will not be the case!

Yesterday all 6 kids and I went to Bethany's house to try to give her some help. Bethany has been on strict bed rest for a good portion of her pregnancy. She is nearing the end, and we are trying to be sure she cooks her little guy as long as possible! Things went about as well as could be expected: older kids helped with cleaning floors and raking and entertaining/picking up after the little ones, and I finished cleaning floors (i.e. got all the areas they missed, LOL) and did some kitchen work. Anyway, knowing I would be working, I put on my sports nursing bra for the day. Zaden didn't nap well all day, and I ended up nursing him about every 2 1/2 hours, even after we returned home.

By the time we finished our movie night (Chicken Run...Lucan was in bed after not napping at all), I was pooped and just left my sports bra on instead of changing to the nursing bra I typically wear at night. I last nursed Zaden around 9:15. At 3:38 a.m. I woke, having been lying on my right side, feeling VERY uncomfortable. After nursing Zaden so frequently during the day, plus having him wake in the middle of the night the past few nights (so no long stretches of sleep for either of us), I figured my body was just going haywire with the milk production. I went to the kitchen and pumped about 3 ounces, feeling somewhat more comfortable as I went to lie back down. I never did get back to sleep, so I was ready to feed him when he woke at 4:15. By the time he was finished, it was apparent that something was not right. I put him back to bed and got into a hot shower, massaging my sore breast (the right side, of course! always problems with the right side!). When I got out and looked in the mirror, it was so obvious something was wrong--lumps in weird places and a general misshapen appearance. I felt I had done as much as I could at that point, so I took some Ibuprofin and went back to bed, thinking we'd be up in another hour or so to nurse again.

Wrong! You might know, the night I need Zaden to nurse more frequently he sleeps longer! It was 8 a.m. when we both awoke, and I was even more sore, to the point of being in tears while nursing him. Of course I was starting him on the affected side and trying to let him go for a long time, but it hurt so badly. And when he finished, it didn't seem to be any better. I spent most of the morning putting hot washcloths on, massaging the area as much I could stand it, pumping (or trying to--wasn't getting much from that side at this point), applying a hot rice pack, and doing it all over again.

Thankfully it's Saturday, so I let the kids watch Loony Toons DVDs all morning so I could doctor myself and take care of Zaden. By time the 10:30 am feeding came around, I was Skyping with Ted and crying because nursing hurt so much. But I also noticed a white head on the nipple that, after Zaden finished nursing, was definitely blister-like. In my reading about plugged ducts vs. mastitis, I had seen that plugged ducts could end in a white blister. Several sites said to use a sterile needle to gently pop the blister. The very thought made me queasy, so I set things up so I could get back into a hot shower.

After following directions for the blister, plus about 20 minutes of massaging the area in the hot shower, the hard lumps were definitely improving, though things still looked off, and I was still very tender. When I rejoined the rest of the family, Charis informed me that while I was showering, one of her directors had called wondering why she wasn't at rehearsal. ACK!! I double-checked the schedule and realized that somehow I had missed the fact that she was supposed to be there today. I don't know why or how I missed it--it was clearly marked that her page numbers were scheduled for today. So, a few tears (on my part) and a quick phone call later, we were on our way to the theater with my neighbor Chris here at home with the kids.

I got home and used the warm rice pack again, then nursed Zaden on the sore side for a little bit before having to go pick up Charis. (Thankfully Chris was able to hang out here at the house, so I just left all the kids here, which made it easier to run in and sign Charis out.) I was feeling SO much better by this point, and after finishing our feeding once I returned, I was pleased to find that the lumps were completely gone. Also, it seemed that Zaden was able to nurse better--I'm not sure what was going on earlier, perhaps he wasn't getting as much milk as he was used to, but his latch/suck seemed off, and my nipple was getting sore again from it. But this time around, everything seemed to be working well.

Praise the Lord...it is now nearly 6 p.m., and the only tenderness I have seems to be the result of all the aggressive massaging from earlier today. We finished another successful feeding that didn't involve pain--woohoo! I am so thankful that the whole ordeal didn't last long! Now I am praying that I don't get any infections from pricking the skin of the blister. :-/ Zaden is certainly none the worse for the wear, as he's been giving good smiles all day! Here's one of them!

Zaden at Two Months

2011-10-25T21:46:00.000-04:00

10 lbs, 15 oz: 54th percentile (and he was weighed RIGHT before a feeding, so he surely would have broken 11 pounds if the timing was different!)
23 1/4 inches: 84th percentile

Zaden is doing so well nowadays! He and I celebrated his 2-month birthday by sleeping 7 hours straight--woohoo! Truly, I could not ask for an easier baby. I know, I know, it's hard to believe after all the drama we went through the first few weeks of his life, but God obviously knew that I couldn't handle a high-maintenance infant this time around! He is on a very consistent feeding schedule, though I'm able to bend it a little to work around our activities. After feeding, he usually stays awake for about an hour during the daytime, and then--like clockwork--he starts getting fussy and fusses until about 5 minutes after I put him in bed. Then, just like that, he's asleep! And nights have been pretty good. I usually get at least 4 1/2 - 5 hours of sleep in one stretch, and he has gone longer on occasion. Of course, there is the random night where he's up at 2 a.m., but for the most part, we seem to be doing pretty well here, which is good, because there is never a guarantee that I can get a nap.

I was afraid that we were in for another poop issue, as he stopped pooping after last Thursday. But I am pleased to announce that we had a "poop-tacular" diaper this evening, so hopefully things are back on track with that!

Zaden is becoming so much more alert and aware of his surroundings, which is fun for his siblings, who always stop as they go by where he's sitting/lying to talk and play with him. I love seeing how he responds to my voice, and we're getting some very good smiles these days. (Miracle of miracles, I captured one on the camera tonight!) He is starting to coo and gurgle, and Kenna is convinced that he is trying to say words. She boasted one day, "Mommy, Zaden said, 'Gah!'" Oh yes, we have such a clever baby, LOL!

The most outstanding physical feature he has is undoubtedly his HUGE eyes, which garner comments everywhere we go. I guess he is just trying to take everything in!

Blah

2011-10-24T21:34:00.000-04:00

I guess I should just be thankful that these days have been coming fewer and farther between...sure seems like we had a plethora of them at the beginning of this deployment. Maybe I'm just in such a fog with a lack of sleep that I don't get as fired up as quickly! But tonight I'm just...exhausted. And feeling so full of guilt and shame over my mommy meltdowns.

I know I would still struggle with sin with my husband present. I can't excuse my lack of patience, gentleness, kindness, or self-control just because I'm a single parent. Priscilla Shirer, in her Jonah study, gave the analogy that if one is holding a glass of water and someone shakes the arm holding the glass, water spills out because...that's what is in the glass. When we are "shaken" by life's storms, what is inside of us will spill out. Unfortunately, it's all too obvious that too much of my sinful, selfish nature is still raging inside of me. I'm so thankful for God's grace and His Holy Spirit...without Him, I truly could do nothing, let alone anything good.

So on days like today--when I went running hither and yon with two kids at dental appointments and another one at a well-baby check-up; when I nearly fell asleep reading to the little ones at only 11 am; when I had to Google "How to clean poop off a couch;" when the little ones dragged outside toys inside the house, resulting in a pine needle anointing of all the carpet in the library and family room; when no one is listening to me, let alone obeying me; when Zaden wakes an hour before I expect him to during every feeding cycle; when I'm nursing the baby on one hand and trying to clear counter space with the other; when I walk into my room to find every drawer pulled all the way out and my bed completely rearranged; when I'm dealing with a host of other, non-life-threatening-but-still-frustrating situations--it's times like that when I simply have to surrender my all: my thoughts, my attitudes, my words, my actions...and trust that God can make something beautiful of this mess.

Birthday Girl

2011-10-22T06:42:00.001-04:00

After a low-key, family-only party last year, and numerous shared birthday parties in previous years, Charis and I decided it was definitely time for her to have her own party for her 11th birthday! It was so much fun to plan it with her. We picked Friday, October 14, and had an "almost over" (as in, not quite a sleepover) from 5:30 - 11 p.m. I offered her the choice of ordering pizza or having a home-cooked meal, and she actually chose a very healthy meal! (Don't worry, we'll get our share of junk when Arden has his party, LOL!)

Charis decided to have an autumn theme for the party, so the menu included pulled pork made in the crock pot, squash bake, inside-out apple pie, and cinnamon bread. She chose zucchini bars for her birthday cake, only we made them into muffins instead of bars so that each girl could frost her own and decorate it with chocolate chips and candy corn.

There were 7 other girls in attendance. One of them, Amberly, was Charis's best friend for awhile, and then her (military) family moved to Virginia. We had the opportunity to spend a day in Washington, D.C., with them when we did our big family trip last fall, but we hadn't seen each other since then. As it turned out, the D family had planned to come to Ohio for a few days anyway! The timing was just perfect, and Charis was thrilled that her dear friend could spend some time with her. (We got together with her family and the C family, mutual friends, the day before the party, so the girls got even MORE time together!) I was grateful that Angela and Brian were able to stay and help; Brian played with Lucan and Christopher, Amberly's little brother, and Angela was a huge help to me during our craft.

After dinner, the girls did a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood collecting non-perishable food items for a local food pantry. Each type of item was worth a certain number of points. The girls collected 4 bags full! They were so excited about what they were doing. I have no idea how the neighbors felt about it, LOL!

Then we did a craft--of course! We used the Big Shot and dies to create "thanks" banners, which you can see the girls holding up in the photo.

Then it was time for cake and presents. Charis requested zucchini bars with cream cheese frosting, so we made those into muffins and had the girls frost their own and decorate with chocolate chips and candy corn. I must say, Charis's friends know her very well--every single gift had something to do with crafting! One friend also gave her a couple of Beverly Cleary books, too. Some of the craft kits included a bottle cap jewelry kit, a scrapbooking kit, a flower-making kit, and I don't know what else. One girl even gave her 4 skeins of yarn! Charis has been in craft heaven, especially since there is so much more organized space in our craft room, thanks to Mimi's hard work while she was here! (I really wish I had taken BEFORE pictures so that I could post before and after shots!)

Then it was time to pile on the couch and watch The Princess Bride, and that took us to the end of the party! I nursed Zaden toward the end of the movie, and we all went to bed by 11:20 (Lucan was put to bed two hours before that) and slept in the next day! Even Zaden "slept in" until 6 am, which helped me recover from the party!

For more photos, go here.

Appointments

2011-10-20T14:12:00.001-04:00

It's a wonder we've gotten any school at all done the last two months! It's been ridiculous!

Sept 6--Chiropractor
Sept 7--Zaden's 2-week check-up (with the sad news about his weight loss)
Sept 8--Tobin's allergy appointment
Sept 9--Arden's allergy appointment & Zaden's weight check
Sept 13--Zaden's weight check
Sept 16--Zaden's weight check
Sept 20--Charis, Tobin, and Arden's dental exams/cleanings
Sept 23 (a.m.)--Zaden's weight check
Sept 23 (p.m.)--Chiropractor

(One blissful week with NO appointments...and then...)

Oct 3--Chiropractor
Oct 11--Zaden's weight check (10 lbs, 3 oz: 2 pounds over birth weight!)
Oct 13--My 6-week post-partum check
Oct 17--Arden's allergy/asthma follow-up appointment
Oct 18--Chiropractor
Oct 19--Charis's orthodontist appointment
Oct 24 (a.m.)--Kenna and Lucan's dental check-ups/cleanings
Oct 24 (p.m.)--Zaden's 2-month well-baby check-up

I really should get my eyes checked...it's been about 2 1/2 years since my last eye appointment, and I am almost out of my contact supply. The question is, do I just go ahead and order what I've been getting the last few years, since my prescription hasn't changed in ages, or should I wait until after I see an eye doctor?! After these last couple of months, I'm not inclined to make ANY appointments for ANYONE anytime soon!!

Visitors

2011-10-09T17:52:00.000-04:00

I have been so blessed to have friends visit over the past month! After Mom left on September 12, my good college friend Megan and her daughter Sela came for 4 days, which was a blessing since we were at the beginning of the whole nursing journey with Zaden. They returned on September 29 for a long weekend visit. The weather was horrible--cold and rainy--so we didn't really do much other than hang out around the house, but it was neat for Megan to be able to be here and see the progress that Zaden had made and was making: that was the weekend that he finally got the hang of nursing and I used the SNS for the last time!

Yesterday afternoon my dear friend Mimi and her daughter Krystiana (13) arrived from their road trip from Kansas. I couldn't believe how tall Krystiana is! She's beautiful, too, and it's been so fun spending time with both her and Mimi. Lucan is in love with Krystiana and has to be with her ALL the time; it's amazing how well he pronounces her name, too! It's very cute. He seems drawn to older girls, as he also adores Sela, "Miss Jessica" (Stefanie's daughter), and Charis's friends who come to the house. I may have to watch out for him, LOL!

Since I knew there would be another adult with me, I made plans for us to go to a fall festival yesterday evening at the church where Charis attends her American Heritage Girls meetings. It was a beautiful day--almost too warm--and the kids enjoyed horse and pony rides (so cute to see Kenna and Lucan on the little ponies!), various inflatables, and lots of free junk food (!). I never would have navigated something like that on my own! For example, I stood in line with the stroller and Zaden for the pony rides while the kids went with Mimi to do some of the inflatables and get food. There were enough people and activities that it would have been too overwhelming for me to try to keep track of everyone without extra eyes and hands. (Pictures of the festival are here.)

We made it to both services at church this morning, and I had a nice long nap this afternoon while Mimi, Krystiana, and Charis worked on the office--which was a total disaster area from all of Charis's projects! From the sounds of things, they are making grand progress...we should have taken some "before" pictures so I could post before and after shots! It was HORRIBLE! It stressed me out just walking into that room! Charis informed me she wanted me to wait to see it when it's finished, so after Zaden finishes nursing, I will dutifully go to the kitchen to work on dinner, LOL.

Tomorrow some of my downline members are coming over to meet and visit with Mimi for an informal potluck lunch. Tuesday I take Zaden for his weight check/follow-up appointment. Other than that, we don't have plans, and it is SO fun to just hang out with Mimi and catch up. We were good last night and went to bed at 11:15 after Zaden finished nursing. (He slept until 6:00 this morning! Woohoo!) Usually when we're together we don't get much sleep! I'm already sad that she'll be leaving Thursday morning to drive back home! But then I can look forward to Megan's next visit, which is tentatively planned for the last weekend in October, assuming everyone is healthy and the weather is good. She lives close enough that it's not too bad of a drive, and it's kind of a vacation for her, with only one child of her own to worry about!

Grandma J will then come and spend the week of Thanksgiving with us, which will be SO much fun. I'm not sure yet when my parents will come for another visit, but I'm hoping sometime in December so we can do a "Christmas" with them, though my dad has to work the week of Christmas itself. And then in January Ted will be here for 2 weeks of R&R!!! By that point we will be 8 months into this deployment, so when he goes back to Afghanistan, we'll be on the downhill stretch. I'm hoping and praying that time speeds by in the meantime!

School Daze

2011-10-05T16:31:00.000-04:00

And I do mean "daze!" That's what it's like trying to homeschool while nursing a newborn around the clock, LOL! But I'm just so thankful that Zaden is nursing that I can't complain. Anyway, here is a quick school update.

The kids have been doing math for about 4 weeks now. Charis is about 2/3 of the way through the Math-U-See Epsilon book, and Tobin just has a few more lessons in Delta. Arden began Delta and is sailing through the beginning lessons introducing division, which is a piece of cake when you know your multiplication facts! And Kenna is delighted to have her own math book this year, as she has started the Primer. The first lessons are basically number identification, and as she has been counting pretty well for awhile, I know she could easily whip through this book, too. But I'm happy to take things slowly!

We introduced language arts 2 1/2 weeks ago, but this is going much more slowly than math. Charis's vocabulary workbook seems to have gone AWOL, which is incredibly frustrating to me! I know I ordered it! I have no idea where it could be, though! She is still working on a writing assignment that I wanted her to finish last week. She just has no concept of keeping her assignment to 2-3 paragraphs, LOL! More like 2-3 pages! Whenever she does finish, I will have her publish it on her blog.

Last week we actually began our history and Bible curriculum. We read about Simon Bolivar, the liberator of South America, and this week we read about Jan Matzileger--neither of whom I ever learned about in school. Fascinating! We also began our literature read-aloud, Moccasin Trail. And this week we finally began science. I've told myself that if we get through half of the core before Ted returns from his deployment, then we'll be doing well! If we accomplish more than that, then that will be great, but I'm not going to kill myself to do it!

In addition to her math book, Kenna is also working on handwriting, and we're reading through the wonderful books I ordered for her from Sonlight's early learners core. Sometimes Lucan listens in as well. I usually am nursing Zaden when this happens, so it works out quite well.

As for extra-curricular activities, the kids continue their piano lessons on Thursday mornings. I am SO thankful that Mrs. D comes to our house! Thursday afternoons they attend a homeschool P.E. class at a nearby community rec center. Stefanie picks them up and takes them to class, and then they go home with her to play for awhile. This gives me a consistent time one afternoon a week to try to get a nap, as I can get Lucan and Zaden napping at the same time and lie down while Kenna watches a movie. Charis and Tobin are working their way through Draw Squad, an incredible resource. I thought Charis was a pretty good little artist before--she's amazing now! When Tobin saw the book, he immediately said he wanted to go through it, too...I hadn't realized it was consumable, so I ended up ordering him his own copy, and he is beginning to do lessons as well. I love that they are learning these skills without any time or effort on my part!

Aside from what little actual school work we've been able to do lately, the kids are getting a lot of practice with home ec! From doing laundry to helping with Zaden and other housework, they are definitely not lacking for things to do!

Praise God!

2011-10-03T23:29:00.000-04:00

Well, it would seem that we are officially free from the Supplemental Nursing System! It has been well over 48 hours since I needed to use it. Zaden has been nursing very well, waking up enough to suck efficiently, and we are settling into a new normal that does not involve so much time and preparation with each feeding. Praise the Lord! I am so thankful for this answer to prayer, and I confess that it comes a little sooner than I was expecting...I was prepared (finally) to continue using the SNS and pumping for another couple of weeks. It's amazing to me how he just turned the corner all of a sudden, but I shouldn't be surprised. Our God is good like that! I am in awe of how far we have come in less than 4 weeks. It's hard to believe that it was only 26 days ago that I stood in the doctor's office crying when I realized my baby had lost so much weight in one week's time.

What a blessing it has been to have so many people praying for us and encouraging me in this journey. I know it means a lot to Ted also to know that I have this kind of support, both near and far, since he cannot be here physically to help.

I look forward to seeing Zaden continue to grow and discovering more of his sweet personality. I'm also excited that we can finally settle into a new normal--knowing our schedule will change every so often as Zaden's needs change--but finally we can be more free to go out and about and enjoy life outside the walls of this house!

More Progress!

2011-10-01T22:40:00.000-04:00

Daily we are seeing progress with Zaden's feeding habits! Today I only used the SNS twice, I think, and that was just on one side, after it was clear that he was too sleepy or just not sucking enough. So my new approach is to attempt just nursing him, paying close attention to what he is doing, and only use the SNS if needed. We've also noticed that his feedings need to be stretched out a bit--he seems to do better when it's at LEAST 3 hours if not a little more between feedings. Therefore, I want to be sure he's getting enough at those feedings! The baby scale has helped with the decision-making process with this, especially when he's really sleepy and I just can't tell if he has really had enough.

I am hopeful that when the 2 weeks are up and I need to take the pump back to the hospital we will indeed be finished with it. I can, of course, request an extension, but it would be nice not to have to do so. Time will tell!

Another Zaden Update

2011-09-29T22:18:00.000-04:00

Even though he's going bald, he's still a handsome little dude!

This post is especially for my non-Facebooking mom-in-law, LOL! And you too, Darla! :-) But actually it's for my own records so I can look back at all this someday and see God's hand even more clearly.

Tuesday evening I nearly had a panic attack when the double electric pump I had been borrowing from a friend suddenly stopped working. For one thing, I know how expensive these things are! But even more, I was so concerned that all my hard work to get my milk supply back up was going to be for naught. Another friend had a pump she brought by, but it was considerably older and much slower than the one I had been using. It took me half an hour to even come close to the amount of milk I was expressing in about 10-15 minutes with the other pump. I used my little hand pump (which worked better than the second electric pump) to tide me over until I could call the lactation consultant on base and see about borrowing a hospital pump.

As it turns out, the whole incident has been a blessing! Not only was I able to sign out a Medela Symphony pump, which must be the Mother of all Pumps, but also I got to visit with the LC again and ask some questions. This pump is amazing. I can get more milk in 5 minutes with this than I ever got with the other pump! Talk about a time-saver! When I think of the fact that the whole nursing/supplementing/pumping/cleaning cycle was taking close to 1 1/2 hours just a couple of weeks ago...well, this is significant!

Zaden's weight gains are truly visible at this point. The scale I have at home showed him at 9 pounds, 11 ounces after his afternoon feeding--two full pounds heavier than he was two weeks ago! (And that's with a scale that didn't match the doctor's, as you may recall from my last post; the doctor's scale showed him as being heavier than my scale did.) Furthermore, he has made the following progress:

His latch is MUCH improved, even on the right side, though still not perfect over there.
He can nurse well on my left side when I start him there.
The nighttime feedings we have been nursing only, with no SNS...being fuller and having a faster milk flow during those times makes it much easier for him.
He is starting to be more alert during his wake times and is easier to get and keep awake for feeding times. He still does not wake on his own to feed during the day, and even when he wakes at night, he rarely cries, just kind of grunts and fusses. He is the least demanding baby I've ever had! Still, I find myself wishing I would hear him cry out to be fed!
Feeding times are now lasting about 30-35 minutes instead of 45 minutes or even more. Between his growing efficiency and the hospital pump, I am slowly gaining some "free" time! (That is typed completely "tongue in cheek," since we all know I have NO free time, LOL! But at least we've been able to do some schoolwork this week!)
I have switched to the smallest size of tubing in the Supplemental Nursing System--so he is still taking some supplemented breastmilk, but he has to work harder for it. We made this switch yesterday evening, and he has been doing well.

So, praise the Lord for this progress! When all this began, I just wanted it to be fixed. Immediately. I wanted a miracle to happen, and I wanted everything to just be "normal." Easy. Convenient. Working around MY schedule and MY desires. Now, I rejoice at every little step forward, even when it is followed by two steps backward, as seemed to be the case at the beginning of all this. Thankfully, these days the forward progress seems to have more momentum!

When all this began, I felt as if I were in a very dark valley. I honestly did not know if I would be able to nurse Zaden at all, let alone exclusively. Every feeding was different, but every feeding had one thing in common--it was a lot of work, and it was exhausting for me physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Now I'm often able to "multi-task," such as read books to Lucan and Kenna while nursing Zaden, or doing the morning Bible reading and prayer time with the kids at the breakfast table while nursing. I've gotten quite adept at working with the SNS! I am confident that in time I will be exclusively breastfeeding. I just need to be patient and wait for that time.

This whole situation has been in some ways like the deployment itself--not something we would CHOOSE to go through, but something that allows for significant growth. I'm not finished growing yet! I have no idea how much longer we'll need to go through all these hoops to get Zaden fed. But in the meantime, I'm doing what I know I need to do, and I'm learning to trust God for the rest.

Zaden at One Month

2011-09-25T16:08:00.000-04:00

Looking at this picture, you'd never know all the trials we've been through this past month! If I had known on August 24 how truly difficult the next few weeks (and beyond) would be, I don't think I would have been in such a hurry to have a baby!

Usually the first month of having a newborn passes in a fog as we adjust to a new little person, figure out a new routine, and deal with the nighttime feedings. This time we have all of that along with the stress of each feeding time taking a minimum of an hour, usually up to an hour and a half, by the time I load up the SNS (supplemental nursing system), get Zaden properly latched (or as close to "proper" as we can come right now), nurse, burp, adjust the SNS, make sure he's sucking and swallowing, often readjusting the SNS multiple times before things flow well, change the diaper or positions or do whatever necessary to wake him up again, then pump to keep up and increase my milk supply, then wash everything to be ready for the next feeding.

Sound complicated? Exhausting? Frustrating? It is. I can't even tell you how much so.

Is it working? Well, at the last weight check, the doctor's scale showed Zaden at 9 pounds, 3 ounces. Just a week before they had weighed him at 7 pounds, 11 ounces. I have to confess I'm not entirely sure I believe the doctor's scale; just this evening the baby scale I'm borrowing showed him at 8 pounds, 11 ounces before we started the most recent feeding. (He was 8 pounds, 14 ounces after we nursed/supplemented for a bit.) That seems like a big discrepancy to me. But the bottom line is, he has definitely gained weight, and the doctor was pleased enough that I don't have to come back for another 2 weeks. I do hope to meet with the lactation consultant on base sometime next week.

I keep praying that by some miracle Zaden will all of a sudden get the hang of nursing and we can put all these extra things aside. Obviously God doesn't have the easy way out in mind for me right now, so I am trying to wait patiently on Him to answer the desperate cries of my heart. I don't feel any "release" from the goal of nursing Zaden; I know many other moms have done a variety of things to feed their babies, and I know I won't be a "failure" if I end up doing something different than exclusively breastfeeding him, but right now, after much prayer, I feel I am supposed to "stay the course" and keep persevering. It would be so much easier to quit, though, trust me!

I'm trying to take time to enjoy being Zaden's mommy. It seems often the only time I'm holding him is when I'm working at feeding him, and that is not exactly relaxing. (In fact, I've been so tense that my neck, shoulders, and back ache most of my waking hours! I've been taking Zaden to the chiropractor weekly, and I need the adjustments as much as he does!) I'm so thankful that the older kids can be such a good help. Truly, I don't know what I'd do without Charis, especially! She is such a blessing and very capable of so much more than I would expect from a 10-year-old. I keep telling her that she will be such a good mommy someday! She adores Zaden, and it's wonderful to have an extra pair of hands to help me when I need them. I try not to give her TOO much responsibility; it would be easy to let her do everything! But Tobin and Arden and Kenna all need opportunities to shoulder some of the load, too, so I do try to get them involved as much as possible. They all love Zaden and cheer when they hear he has gained weight or had a good feeding, etc. I often hear them fighting over who will hold him or sit next to him in the Suburban during an errand.

I started this post Saturday evening...now it's Sunday afternoon, and I am thrilled to report that there has actually been noticeable progress with Zaden's feedings! Starting with our 4:30 am feeding and going all through the day, he has latched and nursed very well off my left side. I used the SNS with the right side. And at the most recent feeding (1:30 pm), he latched and nursed well on both sides! I wasn't entirely sure if he got enough, though, so I did hook up the SNS and put him back on the right side...he only took 1/2 ounce from the SNS! He is sleeping well now, and I just woke up from a nap myself and plan to get him for the next feeding as soon as I'm finished here. I'm hoping this positive trend continues and that we just keep on weaning off the SNS!

In Other News

2011-09-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

I feel as though all I've done is feed the baby, pump for the baby, wash all the paraphernalia related to feeding the baby, and report on how feeding the baby is going! So here's a quick rundown of what's happening in other areas of life.

My parents left for Wisconsin on September 12. Dad had driven here on Saturday, so we only had one full day together because of his work schedule. We attended church together in the morning, and then we met some friends of ours from Cedarville at Young's for dinner that evening. Harold and Joanne K hosted my parents each time they drove me to college, and Joanne was my boss when I worked at the college in the admissions office. They are a dear, sweet couple, and it was so nice to see them. As a bonus, I also ran into my professor Dr. Ager, with whom I traveled to Hungary twice! It was so wonderful to catch up with him and his wife, as well as PG's wife--those who are familiar with Cedarville (at least my era) will remember Pastor Green, who passed away this year.

The day after Mom and Dad left, Megan, my college roomie, drove down from Michigan with her daughter Sela to spend the rest of the week with us, helping me with all my feeding-the-baby issues and doing other general helpful things. It was so wonderful to have her here! We laughed and giggled like we did in college, and it was a HUGE stress reliever to be able to laugh after such an emotional time with Zaden. It was also nice to bounce ideas about the whole feeding situation around together. And of course it was wonderful to be able to take naps and just really focus on Zaden while she and Sela entertained the kids, worked on meals, and did whatever needed to be done. It was all I could do to not have a meltdown when she left on Friday, LOL! By God's grace, we've made it through 4 days without live-in help!

On Sunday I managed to get us all to church in time for the second service. Unfortunately, during the singing, a volunteer came to tell me that Lucan was crying inconsolably in his classroom. He has NEVER done this before, but that day he was just beside himself. I had Zaden in the sling--he was sound asleep--and I'm sure I was quite a sight, with an infant in the sling in front of me and a sobbing Lucan on my left hip. I sat down with him and held him and rocked him back and forth, but nothing made a difference until I started singing to him softly. He calmed down and finally started talking about random things with me. I figured I would take him back to his classroom and stay with him, but as soon as we even walked in that direction, he began screaming again. So I gave up on that and decided instead to pop into my Sunday school class, where people welcomed us and quickly pulled up a couple of chairs. Lucan sat quite happily beside me, munching pretzels and backwashing majorly into what had been my water bottle. As we had just finished reading the book of Job, it was rather appropriate that I attended class after all, LOL! It was a good discussion, and I'm just glad I was able to leave church feeling as though my soul had been fed after all.

Sunday evening was the annual church picnic. A couple from my Sunday school class called to see if I was going, then said they would look for me and help out with the kids. It was so wonderful to have extra hands to help hold plates and so on! The older kids ran around with friends and played games, and I got to chat with a few people despite all the chaos. It was nice to be out and about doing something that didn't involve going to the doctor, ha!

I guess those are some of the highlights from the past week or so. I still kind of feel as though I'm in a fog, and I don't figure I'll emerge from that feeling for quite some time. Between running low on sleep and trying to keep up with Zaden's feeding schedule, anything good that is accomplished around here is only done by the grace of God. I struggle with wanting so badly to "really" be homeschooling, to make sure my kids are "keeping up," and wishing I myself could keep up with the ever-growing piles of dirt and clutter. But I constantly remind myself that I need to focus on what's really important in light of eternity--this year is bringing that to the forefront of my mind more frequently than ever. It's hard to let go of things, but I need to. I'll drive myself mad otherwise. (I often wonder as I walk down that long hallway at the hospital if it's a coincidence that one has to pass the Mental Health clinic before reaching the Pediatric clinic...I confess I've had the thought more than once that I just may have to visit them both one day!)

Aaaaaand it's time to feed Zaden again!

A "Normal" Day

2011-09-19T21:51:00.000-04:00

Today was the closest to normal that we've had since before Zaden was born! With no one else here but our own family, and with no place we had to go, I was ready to add a little more homeschool activities to the daily routine in an effort to keep the older kids gainfully occupied. They've been doing math for a couple of weeks now, and this week we are adding some Language Arts. Next week, Lord willing, we'll aim to get in some history and science, too!

Zaden and I had a good night, and I was hopeful that our feeding sessions might go better today. They didn't, but I'm not giving up hope that this too will pass. I fed him every 2 1/2 hours, since he had a couple of rather long stretches during the night. I had to use the SNS all day, as he wasn't interested in sucking unless milk was pouring into his mouth easily. However, he didn't always finish the amount that was in there--I'm not sure if a) he was too sleepy (I did have to work at keeping him awake sometimes) or b) he was transferring more from me and didn't need the full amount or c) he wasn't quite as hungry since the schedule was shortened and he was feeding more frequently. I'm fairly certain he was getting plenty to eat, though, because during his wakeful periods he was very content! So, obviously this is all still a work in progress, and the important thing is we're getting calories in him.

So, aside from all the effort of feeding Zaden, here's how our day went...and I must say, I'm rather pleased, considering!

5:30 a.m. Zaden and I wake; he feeds while I do my quiet time. Pump; make and drink hot tea; putter around the kitchen doing miscellaneous stuff that needs to be done.

7:30 Lucan, Kenna, and I eat breakfast.

8:00 Feed Zaden/pump.

9:00 Charis, Tobin, and Arden eat breakfast while I read our devotional and we pray. School commences. Kids work on math, handwriting, language arts, piano, and chores.

10:30 Feed Zaden/pump.

11:15 Mix banana muffin batter. Lunch, given to us yesterday by a friend at church, is heating in the oven.

12:00 Eat lunch; finish checking schoolwork. Bake muffins while oven is still hot.

1:00 Feed Zaden. Put Lucan down for a nap. Settle older kids with activities to keep them quiet/busy.

2:15 Put Zaden and myself down for a nap.

4:00 Wake from nap; feed Zaden/pump.

4:30 Friend delivers dinner--hooray!

5:30 Eat yummy dinner (Mexican chicken lettuce wraps and cilantro-lime rice and strawberries--mmm!)

6:15 Answer door--neighbors bring a stinkin' cute pumpkin outfit ("My First Boo") for Zaden and a sinfully delicious concoction from Ritter's...hoo, boy!

6:45 Feed Zaden; family worship time--watch iWorship songs on DVD; discuss The Code from church yesterday; pray. (Normally we do a weekly family worship time on Sunday evenings, but yesterday was the church picnic.)

7:30 Eat sinfully delicious dessert from Ritter's. (Well, part of it...we may be eating on this for awhile!)

8:00 Put Lucan and Kenna to bed.

8:20 Pump while reading a chapter from Love's Long Journey with Charis.

8:45 Play a game of chess with Arden.

9:15 Tuck older kids in bed, promising Tobin I'll spend one-on-one time with him tomorrow.

9:30 Update blog.

10:00 Feed Zaden and go to bed!

Kenna Says

2011-09-19T18:12:00.002-04:00

After dinner tonight, Kenna said, "Mommy, I'm excused. May I please be full?"

Hooray!

2011-09-19T02:17:00.000-04:00

Zaden and I just finished a great feeding!! Actually, we've had two good feedings in a row, and by "good" I mean "we didn't need to supplement!" At 7:30 pm, after being at the church picnic longer than I anticipated, I fed Zaden at home by nursing him only. I hadn't had time to pump after our 4:00 feeding, since we were leaving right afterward to get to the picnic, so I was fuller than usual. I wanted to see how he would do. He nursed great on both sides and seemed satisfied...I put the other kids to bed and kind of waited to see if he would act as if he wanted more. He was wide awake but not fussy; eventually he dropped off to sleep, and I went to bed at 9:30 myself.

He slept until 12:30 am! And since I had been too tired to pump after the 7:30 feeding, I was DEFINITELY feeling full! He had pooped right as I was getting him up, so I changed him and he was wide awake and alert. He nursed GREAT on the left side, about 15 minutes, and I didn't even pre-pump to get letdown! He did well on the right side also, probably going about 12 minutes or so. I put him back in his jammies, and he kept opening his mouth, so I went ahead and put him back on the right side with the SNS, wanting to make sure he got enough. It seemed as if he was greedily gulping it down right at first, but when all was said and done, he actually only took about 1/2 ounce and then just kept playing around. He had a few burps, got a violent case of the hiccups, and seemed perfectly content.

I just got done pumping 4 ounces total! I'm not sure how frequently I should be pumping, now that it seems he is nursing better on his own. I've now been up nearly 2 hours, but I got 3 good hours of sleep first, and I still have plenty of sleeping time left before I'll need to officially start my day. I just hope I can turn my brain off and get back to sleep! I am SOOO happy that we had such normal nursing sessions! He was a lot sleepier at the 7:30 feeding, so I really expected him to wake at 10:30 or 11 wanting to eat again. God is definitely answering prayers!

I want to see if I can find a baby scale to do my own before-and-after weight check, then call Dr. Z and talk to him about how much I need to work at supplementing him. If I can know for sure that he's transferring, say, 2-3 ounces at least, then I wouldn't be quite so paranoid about needing to use the SNS at every feeding. It was just amazing listening to him suck and swallow at this last feeding! His eyes were wide open, and I really enjoyed the cuddle time, skin on skin! PRAISE GOD!!!

Light?

2011-09-17T15:45:00.000-04:00

I'd love to say we're perhaps seeing a light at the end of the tunnel--I don't want to jinx anything, LOL, but honestly, I do have hope that before too long we'll be nursing "for real" and not having to use all these other contraptions to get enough calories into Zaden's little body.

Last night I fed Zaden at 8 pm, and we kept him awake until 10 pm. He was happy and alert, and then Charis and I gave him a bath, and he was mad and alert, ha! Then I fed him again at 10:00 and put him down after that feeding. He nursed much more slowly, but I was watching a Christy episode with Charis, so I didn't worry about it...took him about 45 minutes to drain the SNS. I was in bed by 11:30ish. We woke at 2:30. I pumped with the hand pump on the left side to get letdown, then tried nursing him on that side without the SNS. He did pretty well!! I let him go close to 20 minutes, taking him off once or twice to burp/wake him up, and he was swallowing pretty regularly--hence letting him go for awhile. Then on the other side he did well, and he only took about 1 ounce from the SNS before he quit on his own, seeming content. So I was very encouraged!!

I pumped in the kitchen while watching the Survivor season opener on my laptop. (Or at least the first half!) It was actually kind of fun! Got quite a bit pumped, too, since we had gone a little longer between those feedings. (I pumped after the 8 pm feeding but not after the 10 pm one, just wanting to get to bed as soon as possible. Still had to wash all the stuff, though--doh! Should have done that after the 8:00 feeding, and then I could have been in bed earlier!)

Went to bed around 4:30 and couldn't fall asleep until just after 5:00, but he didn't wake me until 7:30! I did the same thing with him as at the 2:30 feeding, but this time I only let him nurse on the left side closer to 12 minutes, as he wasn't swallowing quite as regularly. He was nice and awake, though--I can't blame sleepiness with that. He nursed on the right side and took 2 1/2 ounces with the SNS.

Anyway, I'm encouraged...I've been starting each nursing session today with just me, no SNS, and watching him carefully. He's definitely doing more sucking and swallowing than he did last week, though I don't think it's safe yet to NOT use the SNS. But, Lord willing, we'll continue to see improvement with his latch and ability to transfer milk. I'm praying that the SNS will soon be history!!

Another Weight Check

2011-09-16T21:47:00.000-04:00

VERY quick update, since it's time for Zaden's bath, followed by his last feeding and BEDTIME!

Today's weight check was positive. Zaden gained 5 ounces since Tuesday, bringing him up to 7 pounds, 11 ounces. The doctor said that gain was good, following the growth curve we had seen last Friday. So he gave me permission to continue doing what I'm doing, which is nursing him with the SNS (anywhere from 2-3 ounces of pumped breastmilk as much as possible, formula if I just don't have enough breastmilk), followed by pumping as much as I can to preserve/build my milk supply. The whole feeding process is still time consuming, but at least the nursing/supplementing sessions are down to about 30 minutes. Then about 15-20 minutes of pumping, depending on the time of day and my schedule, then washing all the paraphernalia associated with this whole ordeal. Then about 45 minutes to an hour of catching up on whatever needs to be done before I have to start all over with Zaden!

I'm very thankful that I've basically had "live-in help" for the past 6 weeks. Mom was here through this past Monday, and my college friend Megan and her daughter Sela were here Tuesday through today. They left to go home to Michigan after we got back from the weight check and had lunch. I had a great time with her--it was good to laugh again, and she was a real help with the feeding sessions as well as helping get meals for everyone, kids up and moving or in bed, cleaning up, etc. I'm not sure how we'll handle being "on our own," but I know God's grace will get us through. It has to! I certainly cannot do this on my own!

I'll be honest, I'm slightly panicked at the thought of the days and weeks to come. I really have come to the end of myself, and I know the only way we'll get through these trials is with God's help and strength. I'm thankful for those who have been His hands and His feet, helping us out in so many ways.

Quick Update

2011-09-14T22:38:00.000-04:00

I am ready for bed, so I will try to make this brief. First of all, I have to praise God for sending Megan this week! It has been such a blessing to have my dear friend and her daughter Sela here during this time when feeding Zaden is truly a full-time job. I am trying not to panic at the thought of when I have no "live-in" help after a couple more days! Lord willing, things will get a bit easier; we'll get faster with feeding times; and God will continue to provide what we need when we need it.

Zaden's feedings continue to be an interesting experiment--it seems we get different results every time as far as what we try that works and doesn't. The good thing is that he does seem to be more consistently taking in whatever supplement we're giving him through the SNS...my goal for now is to get him taking the whole thing during the nursing session so we don't have any leftovers to give him in a bottle. I don't want him getting used to the ease of bottle-feeding! I have no problems with giving babies bottles, and I do like that other people can feed him on occasion. But when our main issue with nursing is that he isn't sucking vigorously enough, I'd really like to avoid the bottles for the most part for the time being. If we aren't pressed for time, i.e. don't have to be anywhere at a particular time, we can usually make this happen, especially now that we know more about how the SNS works. (We discovered that the cap needs to be loosened just the right amount in order to allow a good flow.)

So the ironic thing is that Zaden latches and sucks WELL consistently on my left side when we're using the SNS. I have yet to get him to do this without the flow of formula or breastmilk being pumped into his mouth through the tube! Right side is hit or miss, as we still seem to have trouble latching correctly over there, though we are finding various positions that do seem to help. We did go to the chiropractor this morning and plan to go again next week.

I am SO grateful for all the prayers and encouragement from everyone. I appreciate the comments here on the blog as well as notes on Facebook from people telling me they are praying for us and encouraging me to hang in there. I do acknowledge that it's OK to give him formula. I understand many people have gone different routes with feeding their babies. And I will do whatever it seems God is clearly leading me/us to do. Right now, I don't feel that I'm supposed to completely give up on the idea of exclusively breastfeeding, and I'm praying that this will be but a bump in the road as time goes on, that Zaden will gain strength and stamina and eventually be able to nurse well without needing any additional supplements. And I'm praying for patience in the meantime, that I will learn what God wants me to learn, and that I will not succumb to stress and Mommy-guilt when we aren't doing much school and I can't give more time to my other kids.

Another good thing to report: my milk supply seems to be just fine. Granted, I'm still a bit uneven, but that would have happened regardless, I'm sure! Even after Zaden nurses on both sides (sometimes it does happen that he is on both sides taking the supplement through the SNS along with whatever he gets from me), I can pretty easily pump 2 1/2 ounces. Hooray for an electric double pump! More than once I've thanked God for these contraptions that allow me to get some breastmilk into Zaden's little body and provide the hope for bridging this gap between now and later.

The kids and I learned these verses from Job 23 for the Bible Bee this year, and they have really come alive for me:

⁸ “But if I go to the east, he is not there;
   if I go to the west, I do not find him.
⁹ When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
   when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
¹⁰ But he knows the way that I take;
   when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
¹¹ My feet have closely followed his steps;
   I have kept to his way without turning aside.
¹² I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
   I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.

The one difference for me, though, is that I can't currently identify with Job's sentiment in verses 8 and 9. I see God's hand all over this situation! As I posted yesterday, I don't totally understand why we're going through all of this, but I do know that God has clearly provided for me in so many ways...a knowledgeable lactation consultant, a good pump, the SNS, an answer to my prayer to boost my milk supply, people to come and help when I need it, and on and on. I can only pray that after this "test" I will come forth as gold.

Today's Weight Check

2011-09-13T21:30:00.000-04:00

It is with mixed emotions that I write this update. Today's weight check was not quite what I was expecting. Zaden DID gain weight; however, it was only 3 ounces, bringing him up to 7 pounds, 6 ounces. After 4 days, the weight gain was not nearly enough. At this point, it is of the UTMOST importance that we get him gaining weight, so the bottom line is...I need to do whatever I can to get him to take in calories. For Dr. Z, who has been following us on this journey, that means that I MUST supplement (with formula) at every feeding. Though he did not dissuade me from continuing to breastfeed, he did say that it looks like we'll need to do "hybrid feeding."

My friend and neighbor Chris was here at the house with the other kiddos, and she had assured me I could take as much time away as I needed. So I left the pediatric clinic and went to see Laura, the lactation consultant, whom I had spoken with on the phone last Friday. I have now seen her a total of 4 times! She and I will be great friends by the time this is all over, I'm sure, LOL.

Anyway, my hour with Laura was very informative. We did a before-and-after weight check, allowing Zaden to nurse about a half hour total. As I had observed, he was not taking in much, though his latch seemed fairly reasonable. But the lack of transfer is the problem. After 30 minutes of nursing (about 15 minutes on each side), he had consumed only 1/2 ounce of milk! No wonder he's having issues! Our nursing sessions at home have lasted anywhere from 40-50 minutes...so if he's working that hard and only taking in 1/2 ounce of nourishment, he's expending more calories than he's taking in. :-(

We don't know WHY he isn't sucking efficiently. He can certainly suck a bottle! So, here is our action plan:

I have my own SNS (supplemental nursing system) to try using with a breast shield. We had not been using the one I'm borrowing because he was not getting a good latch, which was kind of defeating the purpose of using it.
I will stop nursing him after 25-30 minutes total. Whatever he has not taken in through the SNS will then be given to him in a bottle.
I will continue pumping, pumping, pumping.
Laura said there is nothing wrong with my milk...she said Zaden should be fine taking my pumped milk through the SNS or a bottle. However, since Dr. Z specifically said to use formula, I have decided I should definitely give him formula at least every other feeding, with pumped milk on the other feedings, so that I can be sure to follow Dr's orders.
Tomorrow morning we are going to the chiropractor again. Several people have told me their babies had latching problems that were fixed with chiropractic treatment.
I take Zaden back on Friday for another weight check.

So...NOT good that Zaden hadn't gained more weight. I was truly surprised at how minimal the gain was--it really seemed to me that he was doing better with nursing. However, as Dr. Z said, he HAS gained...he hasn't lost any more...but we need to have him catch up, definitely. At the same time, I'm thankful that we have some answers. I've officially been told to free myself from any blame! (Yeah, how easy will that be to release?!) The problem isn't with me or my milk...it's with Zaden not knowing how to nurse. So, in a sense, that is very helpful as we move forward.

Having nursed 5 babies before for an average of one year each, I definitely was not prepared for all of this. I have a new found sympathy for moms who have tried to breastfeed only to be thwarted by various reasons in their efforts. I have also received encouragement from many moms who were determined to overcome difficulties and were able to nurse--maybe not 100% of the time, but consistently. It's a very emotionally difficult thing to realize that you can't provide nutritionally for your new baby. I doubt anyone who has not gone through this can truly understand--I know I wouldn't have if I weren't in this exact situation. Our current family dynamics make this even more difficult. If Zaden were my full-time job...i.e. no other kids, no other obligations...I would not feel quite so despairing. I am trying to stay optimistic, but I have to confess, this is extremely draining in all ways, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I truly believe God wants me to nurse Zaden. Why all this trouble, then? I can only trust that He has a perfect plan that includes this trial for my family. And I do mean my FAMILY--I'm not the only one "suffering!" My other children are affected by all this for sure. Poor Lucan's world has turned upside down with Daddy gone and a new squirmy creature taking all Mom's attention. School has been put on the back burner indefinitely. And meals are hit or miss, sometimes with everyone having to fend for themselves.

But since God has set this road before us, all we can do is follow Him. I wish I could know for sure that Zaden would suddenly start getting the hang of nursing and eventually we could get rid of all these other contraptions for feeding time. But I have no guarantee. I may indeed need to do this "hybrid feeding" for the next year. If so, I have to trust that God will provide for all that we will need in order to keep Zaden healthy and growing.

God has already provided...perhaps not the way I want Him to ("Fix it now, God, please!"), but He HAS provided. My mom was here to help through yesterday. Today, my college roomie and dear friend Megan drove down from Michigan with her daughter Sela to help us out through Friday. I have no idea what will happen after Friday. Right now, I just have to take one feeding at a time.

Zaden Update

2011-09-12T20:47:00.001-04:00

Has it really only been a few days since I wrote about the ordeal we've been through with Zaden's weight and nursing issues? It seems like an eternity...I can only pray that before too much longer, I can look back on this and clearly see God's hand working. I already can in many ways--praise His name!

So, the good news: Zaden was up to 7 pounds, 3 ounces at Friday's weight check. The doctor was pleased, as was I. He told me to continue doing what I was doing and to come back on Tuesday for another check. Well, I'm mostly doing "what I was doing," but I'm not supplementing with formula. Instead, I pump after each feeding (well, most feedings, anyway) and save the breast milk for the next feeding time. I stopped using the SNS a couple of days ago, as our last couple of experiences with it were very frustrating, and I felt it was not encouraging Zaden to get a good latch since we had to shove the tube in at the same time. Since he is consistently latching well on the LEFT side at least, I felt I needed to make things slightly easier and just give him the pumped milk in a bottle. I do feel a bit apprehensive about this, since it's obviously much easier for him to eat from a bottle. He is a S-L-O-W nurser when he is sleepy, which is about 90% of the time, which means feeding times can take forever, and even then I'm not sure if he's really filled up. I really have to pay attention to what he's doing to make sure he is doing the suck and swallow thing and not just licking or "pacifier" sucking on me. He's getting better at latching onto the right side and taking in more milk from there, so I'm definitely hopeful. And there have been feedings where he seems to have gotten satisfied just from nursing and doesn't really want much if any from a bottle. I've been trying to offer a "topper-offer" with most feedings, though, since we really want to make sure his weight gets back up!

I'm trying to back off from pumping the left side...my milk supply over there is definitely adequate, and I don't want to be lopsided for the next year and a half! (Or longer!) My right side still needs some help, so I "just keep pumping, just keep pumping..." (Imagine that in a Dorrie sing-song voice, if you've seen Finding Nemo. If not, just humor me. I didn't get a nap today!)

I have no idea how long I should expect to do all of this. I'm hoping and praying the weight check tomorrow will show miraculous results--not just adequate results--something that will allow me to testify to the doctor of the grace of God and the power of prayer, because many, many people have been encouraging me and praying me through this journey. I'd love to hear from him that we can focus on simply nursing him, using supplementation only when it's obvious he's still hungry and I don't have much more to give. However...I will accept God's answer, whatever it is; the important thing is that Zaden is gaining weight and growing stronger.

I remember having major nursing issues with Kenna for a little over a week, and then suddenly she started latching on perfectly and did just wonderfully. I would love to see this current trend with Zaden totally turn around as well! I can tell he is doing much better:

His color looks GREAT.
He poops at nearly every feeding time now.
His diapers are often overflowing with urine. (Never thought I'd be overjoyed at these things...)
When he is awake, he is much more alert, staying awake longer periods and looking around, often toward a person who is speaking.
He is more consistently latching correctly and swallowing audibly.

Now, if I can just get him to do the latter bullet point on the RIGHT side, I think we'll be all right! But at least we're good on the left side. Sigh.

If you happen to read this before September 13, late morning EST, would you please pray with me that Zaden would at least be back up to his birth weight? And please pray that God will give us wisdom to know how best to care for this little treasure He has given us. Thank you so much.

Post-Partum Ups and Downs

2011-09-08T11:24:00.000-04:00

These past 2 weeks have definitely been an emotional roller coaster. While I anticipated that the weeks and months following Zaden's birth would be our most difficult part of the deployment, I wasn't quite prepared for the level of difficulty I'd be faced with immediately. After just a couple of days, it became apparent that Zaden was not latching correctly during our feeding times--I was severely sore. Since I had to take Zaden to base for a weight check (since we were released from the hospital less than 48 hours after his birth), I made an appointment with the lactation consultant--this would be Friday, August 26.

Zaden's weight was a bit low, so they told me to bring him back Sunday (Aug 28). The LC gave me some tips for helping him latch better, and I went home feeling confident that we would overcome this issue. My milk came in that night, and we had the Bible Bee in Cedarville the next day, so we shifted into survival mode to get through the weekend--I had only about 2 hours of sleep Friday night and endured the uncomfortable nursing sessions, hoping that between pumping a bit and working with Zaden we would get to the other side of that difficulty.

Well. Zaden's weight was slightly down on Sunday, so the doctor told me I had to bring him back on Monday. I came back Monday feeling very emotional--Zaden was not latching very well at all, and we had ended up giving him pumped breastmilk in a bottle several times. Thankfully his weight had stabilized, so they told me I could quit coming in for weight checks. I spoke with the LC again but not during a feeding; it was halfway through his cycle, and he was zonked out. Still, she gave me some more things to try and was generally encouraging, so I felt better as I went home that afternoon. At least I wouldn't have to be making the trip to base again before his 2-week appointment.

That afternoon, after I had an army of people praying for me, Zaden FINALLY latched onto BOTH sides and nursed! Hooray! Things seemed to improve from there; the soreness finally abated, and I thought we were having success.

However...life threw us another curve. Zaden stopped pooping. His last bowel movement had been Monday, August 29. Mom and I consulted each other after each diaper change--did he poop yet? Not yet. It didn't become worrisome until several days had passed; we knew breastfed babies sometimes dealt with this, but I didn't think it was common for it to happen to such a young baby.

Meanwhile, I thought things were going great on the nursing front. By the time Zaden was just over a week old, I was no longer excruciatingly sore, just tender. He seemed to be nursing pretty well on each side, although I could tell we did much better on the left side.

Apparently, though, we were experiencing a slow fade. By the time the weekend rolled around, I started to realize that I didn't seem nearly as full as I was used to feeling with such a tiny baby to feed. I started making sure we were feeding him every 2 1/2 hours instead of every 3--he slept well during the day, so often it was 3 hours between feedings, though in the evenings I was doing more "cluster feedings" right before bedtime.

By Labor Day (Sept 5) I was definitely concerned about Zaden's lack of BMs. We had a chiropractor appointment scheduled for the next morning, so I prayed and hoped that seeing Dr. P would help. It did--he pooped that evening! Hooray!

Unfortunately, the good news didn't last long. The next morning (Sept 7) I took Zaden in for his 2-week check-up and was aghast to learn that he had lost an alarming amount of weight. From his birth weight of 8 pounds, 3 ounces, he had dropped to 6 pounds, 13 ounces. I cried. I waited in the exam room, nursing him (he wasn't very happy about all the commotion, but he WAS happy to be nursed) and trying to gain some self-control before the doctor came in.

Dr. Z was very kind, but obviously concerned about the situation. He asked lots of good questions, and from my responses, he seemed satisfied that likely Zaden does not have any inherent medical conditions that would cause him to lose weight. So, in other words, aside from the obvious problem of weight loss, Zaden is otherwise in good shape--alert, looking around, moving well, etc. The fact that he was having wet diapers showed that he was not dehydrated, but the fact that he wasn't pooping plus had lost weight showed that he simply wasn't getting enough calories. Still, the doctor wanted to rule out any other medical problems, so he told me to supplement at least for a few days until we could be sure that Zaden would gain weight.

That was yesterday. Tomorrow afternoon I will take Zaden in for a weight check at the same time I take Arden in for an allergy-related check-up. In the meantime, I've been nursing him for anywhere from 10-20 minutes, then giving him 2 ounces from a bottle--sometimes formula, sometimes pumped breastmilk. At the next feeding I will do the first attempt with a supplemental nursing system, by which he can nurse to stimulate my milk production while at the same time taking in formula for nourishment. (I plan to nurse on both sides first, then switch to my right side and use the SNS, since the right side is the one that really has the supply issue). I fully anticipate that tomorrow's weight check will show that he has gained weight--he is definitely doing well with a full tummy and has even pooped twice more since. I'm praying that my milk supply will increase so that we can decrease the supplements and drop them altogether sooner rather than later. I have several cups of Mother's Milk tea a day now and am learning to "appreciate" the taste!

Pretty much my entire time now is spent nursing, pumping, resting, or trying to nourish my body with food and drink. I'm thankful that my mom is still here to help out--I don't know what we'll do when she has to leave on Monday. :-/ Obviously God is going to have to get us through all this!

As you can imagine, it has been a very emotional and difficult time. There is a lot of guilt that I struggle with--i.e. I should have realized sooner that my milk supply was dropping, I should have done this or I should have done that, I'm obviously not a fit mother, how could God trust me with another child when I can't seem to take care of him the way He designed me to, etc. I know Satan is fully at work to discourage me. I'm thankful for the verses I learned throughout the summer, as they are definitely a lifeline to me now.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered for a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10).

I am praying that God will get us through this period of "suffering" (I fully realize that many people are truly suffering much greater trials) and that He will restore Zaden's weight and my milk supply and make us both strong, firm, and steadfast.

So Sweet

2011-09-02T13:39:00.000-04:00

I love watching newborns move and stretch...it gives me a picture of what happened inside the womb!

Bible Bee 2011

2011-08-31T22:34:00.001-04:00

One of my prayers regarding Zaden's delivery was that it would happen at a time so as to allow me to attend the Local Bible Bee with the older kids. I, for one, am thankful that I did not have to attend the Bee while still pregnant! However, I must confess that I had hoped for a delivery date earlier than Zaden actually came--the day of the Bee was most uncomfortable for me physically, as my milk had come in just the night before and we had a HORRIBLE night.

But God is good. Despite my extreme exhaustion and the painful feeding sessions we endured, the day was a total blessing in every other way. And perhaps the activity of the day served to divert my attention from a difficult situation with our little newborn.

So, going on about 2 hours of sleep, I managed to get the kids up and fed and out the door by 8 a.m., no small feat, I might add! Mom stayed home with Kenna and Lucan, as she and Kenna were recovering from coughs and sore throats. (Originally we had a sitter lined up to watch the younger two so Mom and I could both go to the Bee.) We made it to Cedarville University with time to spare and loaded up all the baby supplies in the stroller. (I brought the boppy to make feeding times a bit easier!) Zaden was ready to eat during the opening session, so I took him out to a lounge area and worked on that while the kids stayed inside with my friend Cathy and her daughter, Carly, who, like Arden and Lucan, was participating in the Primary Timothy track.

One of the coordinators, knowing our situation, told me that she would make sure the kids' oral rounds were scheduled so that I would be able to go in with them, and she came to tell me that Charis was soon going to be ready. Perfect timing, as Zaden and I were finishing up in the lounge. I waved goodbye to Tobin and Arden, who were being taken to the written testing room, and I took Zaden in with Charis (who held on to Flat Daddy) for her oral round.

Some background here: Charis chose to participate in the National Track, because she wanted to be eligible to possibly qualify for the National competition in November. Because of this, she had to follow the age guidelines. Because she will be 11 years old by November, she had to participate as a Junior (ages 11-14) instead of a Primary (ages 7-10), even though she was still 10 years old on the day of the Local Bee. Junior contestants had 500 verses to memorize, whereas Primary had 250. So--a considerable difference! But I was very proud of her. Even though she didn't memorize all of them, she probably got through at least 2/3 or even 3/4 of the verse cards, a daunting task for anyone.

So the oral round consists of 25 verse cards (each contestant has the same passages to recite), and she passed on probably almost half of them, not knowing them at all. The ones she did recite, I think she did pretty well on, and she felt she had done her best, which was all we asked.

She and Zaden and I went to the "Family Fun Area," where we were joined by the boys after their written test. Then it was time to switch. Charis was taken to do her written test, and I was able to watch the boys' oral rounds.

The boys chose to do the Timothy track in the Primary Division. This track only involved learning 50 verses instead of 250. No matter which track you choose, though, everyone does the same Bible study throughout the summer. We studied the book of 1 Peter, and each age group has their own version of the study, but the same concepts are covered.

I went with Arden first. My amazing son quoted all 25 passages given to him, without passing or asking for prompts. I sat listening to him and couldn't help it...tears filled my eyes, and I just thanked God over and over for placing His Word in Arden's heart. At the end of the round, one of the judges spoke a blessing over Arden, quoting some of the same verses back to him..."Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity," for one, and telling him that God was going to use him in a mighty way. You can imagine how emotional this mother was after all that!!

Arden was then escorted back to the Family Fun Area while I went with Tobin to view his round. He did well also, but he did pass on 4 passages that he hadn't bothered to learn! (He's SO capable, but SO lazy!! I hope he will become more self-motivated over time!!)

Then it was lunch time, and we enjoyed a picnic under the trees by Cedar Lake while I worked at feeding Zaden again. (And I do mean "worked." Sigh.)

At 2 p.m. we gathered in the auditorium for the final portion of the day. All the Primary contestants got to march on stage, and then they called out the top 5 Timothy contestants. Oh, the joy! Arden and Tobin took 1st and 2nd place, respectively! The boys were positively beaming on stage! Of course, their excitement had a lot to do with the gift/goodie bags they received along with their trophies, LOL. But I was so happy that their hard work and perseverance had paid off, especially in Arden's case. He had begun a lot of the Sword Studies in tears because he didn't feel he could do it...I was there to help him, but sometimes I would ask him to start on his own while I finished something up. But for verse memorization, he really did most of it on his own!

We then watched the National Track contestants do their final round before moving to the Junior division. Charis marched on stage with kids that looked way older and bigger than she is, and I was so proud of her for all she had done! We had talked about the fact that she would likely be one of the very youngest contestants in her category, and while she was disappointed that she hadn't learned more verses, we both agreed she really had done a great deal over the summer and had nothing to be ashamed of.

We both gasped in surprise when she was called forward as one of the top 5 National Track contestants! She got to participate in the oral round, but not for long...the kids kept having to pass on various passages they were asked, so it went fairly quickly until they got down to the last 2 contestants, who went back and forth for a bit. And the final ranking found Charis in 4th place for the local contest! The picture of the top 5 cracks me up...Charis barely reaches the 5th place guy's elbow!

We are so proud of all our contestants! What a wonderful program. We have thoroughly studied the book of 1 Peter, which is so appropriate for our family during this season of life. I'll close this post with a passage I learned just two days before Zaden was born...it became a focal point for me during my labor and delivery, and the words continue to echo in my mind as we face many more challenges during the remaining 9 months of Ted's deployment.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his great mercy, he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him, and even though you do not see him now, you believe him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

P.S. The final results are in (mostly--there will be some additions after make-up bees are done due to Hurricane Irene). Nationwide, Charis ranked 237 out of 813 Junior National Track contestants! So, she did not qualify to attend the National competition in November, but wow, what an accomplishment.

As for the Primary Timothy division, there were 420-ish contestants, and Arden placed 18th!! WOW! (And he earned a PERFECT score on his oral round!) Tobin was 56th. I'm so proud of ALL my kiddos!

Of course, the best part isn't the numbers or the trophies or the goodie bags. The best part is having all those Scriptures stored up in the hearts and minds of our children--and me, too! (I nearly made it through all 250 verses of the National Primary track! I was a bit shy of the total goal, having to stop Week 12 early due to...having a baby, LOL.) What a blessing it has been this summer to literally walk in the Word.

Picture Links

2011-08-29T16:14:00.002-04:00

For our non-Facebook friends and family, here are some links to pictures of Zaden's arrival:

Welcome, Zaden Ezekiel!

Zaden's First Bath (at the hospital...Charis was in charge of the camera!)

Mommy & Me (at the hospital)

Welcome Home, Zaden!

Labor Story--the Long Version

2011-08-25T21:39:00.000-04:00

I tried not to get too excited when I realized I was having contractions consistently throughout the evening on Tuesday—we had been down this road before! But they seemed to be coming, whether I was cooking dinner or sitting in bed reading with the kids, so I was cautiously optimistic. The pains weren’t intense at all, which did make me wonder, but since they were coming fairly regularly, I put everyone on alert, including Ted, and went to bed around 10:30 p.m.

I actually slept fairly well, considering; I woke at 1:30 with a fairly painful contraction, then went back to sleep for another hour before waking with another pain. I must have been tensing up in my sleep, though, because my shoulders and back just ached when I woke for good! (They still ache today--along with other muscles!) I got out of bed at 2:30 a.m. and decided to try timing the contractions to see if anything might be happening. They were anywhere from 8-12 minutes apart, and they definitely weren’t all that painful for the most part. I putzed around the kitchen, making raspberry tea and a grilled cheese sandwich. I emailed Ted at work—he had finished a meeting and was free to leave anytime he needed to. I was on the verge of taking a shower when I was hit with two intense contractions within a few minutes of each other, and I just had a feeling I shouldn’t take time to shower! (Too bad it didn’t occur to me until AFTER we were at the hospital that I should grab my shampoo and conditioner for the overnight bag!)

I called out to Charis, who was sleeping on the family room couch, and asked her to go wake Grandma. I called Stefanie—it was around 4:15 a.m. by this time—and she came to the house to be with the rest of the kids. I emailed Ted one last time to tell him we were headed to the hospital and told him to look on his email for the link for the “Daddy Cam” that the hospital would send once things were set up.

I called the Labor & Delivery ward to tell them I thought I should come in, and the conversation went like this:

“Did your water break?”

“Um, no…but this is my 6^th child…”

“Oh, say no more—that’s your ticket in!”

So off we went, with my mom driving our minivan and a very excited Charis in the back. I had not ONE single contraction during our whole drive to the hospital…which reminded me of when Debi drove me to the Nellis AFB hospital when it was time for Kenna to be born—that was a much longer drive, and I had no contractions then, either! I was worried both times that we would end up turning around and going back home, but that was not the case for either Kenna or Zaden’s delivery.

I asked Mom to park in the regular parking lot so I’d have a chance to walk a bit more. I needn’t have worried; I had three very intense contractions just on the walk up to L&D! It was a slow night, so we were soon settled into the delivery room, and soon after 5 a.m. the midwife told me I was dilated 8-9 centimeters. THANK YOU, JESUS!

The only damper was that no one was able to get the Daddy Cam set up. As it turned out, the internet ports in the rooms were not working. A call to the 24-hour help desk wasn’t much help; the gal on duty didn’t know what to do, and her supervisor was not going to arrive until 7 or 7:30—which would be too late, the way things were going.

I was heartbroken…but what could they do?! I asked if someone could use their phone and at least send a quick email to Ted to let him know we were at the hospital and everything was OK so that he wouldn’t be pacing his room, worried. (I joke that I have a "dumb phone," not a smart phone, as we can't do cool things on the internet on our old-fashioned flip cell phones!)

A new solution presented itself—by 6ish our time, Ted had called the DSN line, and we were able to talk on the phone for the next hour and a half. So, although he wasn’t able to see anything, he could certainly hear what was going on!

Meanwhile, in the delivery room, Joanne, our midwife, was calmly asking Charis if she would like to put gloves on and help catch the baby. Joanne was AMAZING! She was the one I had seen the most during my OB visits, and she had met all my kids and knew ahead of time that we wanted Charis to be able to be present during the birth. She explained everything that was going on, too; later, when one of the doctors asked Charis if she had missed school, I couldn’t help but say, “Today WAS school!” Charis got some first-hand experience in the school of life, and none of us would have traded it for anything!

I ended up standing beside the bed after transition…how freeing to not be tethered to a monitor or anything else! Joanne raised the bed so that I could lean over it, and Mom took off her rings and let me squeeze her fingers off during my pushes. The pushing phase lasted longer than I expected. My only other natural delivery was with Kenna, who was two weeks early and ended up coming faster than we realized. I think I maybe pushed through just a few contractions before she slithered out. But I was not so lucky with Zaden! I think perhaps I was pushing for a little over half an hour, BUT I will say that overall, the labor was easier than any of the others ones I’ve had, since the contractions leading up to the final phase were so much less painful to endure.

Still, I have to say HATS OFF to my friends (like Claire!) who have delivered so many (big!) babies without any drugs! If I could skip that whole pushing-the-baby-out-of-my-body thing, I wouldn’t mind so much, ha! Poor Ted…it must have been awful for him to hear the sounds of a natural delivery without being able to see anything or physically be there for his wife.

But obviously things went well; Zaden Ezekiel arrived at 6:29 a.m. into the waiting arms of the midwife and his big sister Charis. I got to hold him right after that, and then Charis cut the umbilical cord. She did such an amazing job with everything! I was so proud of her, and everyone commented to us later how mature and poised she was through the whole process. (The best news for me was finding out later that she still wants to have her own children someday, LOL. Good thing we didn’t traumatize her!)

We all got cleaned up while I talked more with Ted on the phone. When we heard that Zaden weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces, and was 20.6 inches long—the biggest of all my babies—I understood why it took longer to push him out than it did Kenna. He weighed almost 2 pounds more than she did! (I can’t even imagine birthing Claire’s 10 ½ pound baby!!) I’m definitely glad I was able to deliver him naturally, but I will say that is an hour or so that I don’t care to repeat again anytime soon, LOL. Good thing our memories of that kind of pain fade fast!

Zaden nursed like a champ during that first feeding. He was so alert, too, staying awake for several hours. I was hard pressed to get him back after feeding him—Charis took over like a little mother hen! We had to move to a different room, so we shuffled all our stuff down the hallway and got settled there. Charis went with Zaden to have his first bath around 10:30 and took lots of pictures there while I showered and Mom went in search of something to eat. She also went back to the van to get Flat Daddy, whom we had forgotten to bring in with us in the rush!

After Zaden returned to us, I shooed Mom and Charis home so they could get some lunch and we could all get some rest. Charis did NOT want to leave…it’s safe to say she is very much in love with her new little brother, as we all are! He has dark hair and features that STRONGLY resemble Arden and Lucan. Tobin seems to be the lone boy in the family carrying strictly his father’s genes, LOL! I guess that’s appropriate, given the fact that he’s our firstborn son!

So, that's the story of Zaden's delivery. The next 30 hours involved lots of commotion and only about 4 hours of sleep. I can't blame Zaden--while everyone commented on how alert he was, he was definitely not fussy. The few times he grunted unhappily, it was because he needed to burp or feed. Can't blame him there! But honestly, the in and out routine of the various hospital staff drove me absolutely insane. Can't you guys COORDINATE your efforts so a different person is not walking in the room every 15 minutes?! The time they actually left me alone, at night, was the time that Zaden was having his grunting issues. So while he wasn't really all that difficult to deal with, it was just exhausting being jerked out of a light sleep both day and night.

The good news of the morning was that we would be released to come home around lunch time. Hooray! The bad news--which I just learned an hour before going home--was that I would have to bring Zaden back for a check-up the very next day. Sigh. Originally they were going to have me bring him in after church on Sunday...they want to do a weight check after 48 hours to make sure the baby is gaining weight, but they were willing to wait longer since he had only lost 3-4 ounces, about 3% of his body weight. (Lucan had lost nearly 11%, so we had to bring him back a couple of times before his 2-week appointment even.)

However, when the pediatricians did the last check before releasing us, they noted that his bilirubin level was getting higher. While it isn't anything to be all that concerned about--the level was 8.1, and anything under 12 is fine--it does mean turning around and going to the hospital 24 hours after leaving to go home. That hardly makes for a restful homecoming! I'm still disgruntled about it! I had the calendar cleared for tomorrow so I could rest and get our family ready for the Bible Bee event on Saturday, which is truly going to be a major ordeal, between getting the Bee kids ready to go and making sure things will be set for the babysitter who will be here with Lucan and Kenna all day. I guess I just need to trust that God will help us get everything in place.

So anyway, Stefanie came to the hospital to get Zaden and me, bringing the car seat with her. She had gotten the straps back to where they were when we brought baby Kenna home from the hospital, in the lowest setting. Well...we had to adjust them higher! Zaden is one long baby!! It was another moment that really made me miss Ted, as he is always our Car Seat Guy! After we got approval from the nurse, we headed home to a very excited set of siblings, the more artistic of whom had prepared signs for our front door. :-)

So...we're home now...I started this post at the hospital knowing I'd want to remember some details even though I wouldn't have internet access until coming home. I got a good 2 1/2 hour nap this afternoon and look forward to a more restful night than the last few nights, anyway!

Welcome, Zaden Ezekiel!

2011-08-25T19:26:00.000-04:00

Zaden (Dutch): Sower of seeds
Ezekiel (Hebrew): God is my strength

Born August 24, 2011, 06:29
8 pounds, 3 ounces
20.6 inches

Diet Update

2011-08-23T19:28:00.001-04:00

Well, since not much is happening on the baby front, I thought I'd take time to write out my thoughts about where we are on the GAPS diet. As of yesterday, we have been on this diet for 7 months! (And as of today, Ted has been in Afghanistan for 3 months...unrelated, I know, but I thought it was worth noting!)

A lot of people ask me if we've seen a difference with the boys' allergies. I honestly don't know how to answer that. We tried having Arden go off his meds (Tobin has used up all his Flonase, and we haven't gotten a refill, so he has been off that for a long while now). Sometimes he seemed to be all right, but other times he was definitely having problems. So he has kind of been on and off again with the Singulair and Claritin. Without the Flonase, Tobin has definitely been having difficulties breathing through his nose, but seeing as how he HATES using the nasal spray, I'm not sure if putting him back on Flonase will really help much.

The fact is, it has been a HORRIBLE year for allergies! Even those of us who don't typically have issues have struggled from time to time. The weather has been strange, and Dayton is a very bad area for allergies anyway. And I'm honestly not sure how (or whether) GAPS is supposed to help with seasonal allergies, as opposed to general immune problems.

Below is an email I sent to my friend Bethany to try to verbalize some of the thoughts I've been having about our involvement with GAPS. I thought it might be helpful for those who have kind of followed us on our journey.

*****************

I’ve been doing more thinking, reading, and praying about our diet, trying to figure out what the best thing is for our family. I’m not convinced that GAPS is helping with the seasonal allergies that the boys deal with (and others of us from time to time), nor am I totally convinced that we shouldn’t use any medical intervention to help them deal with the symptoms. Ideally, yes, I would love for them to not have to be on daily meds. But Ted was for a number of years and is showing improvement without any intervention…I have hopes that perhaps the boys will outgrow some of the severity of their allergies, just as I have pretty much outgrown my horrible allergic reactions to bee stings and ant bites.

That being said, I know God has had us on this food journey for a number of reasons, and I know that many of the changes we’ve made will be permanent. At the same time, I am ready to include some other foods in our diet…but I’m more than willing to take it slowly, since the sheer amount of information is overwhelming, to say the least! I find myself agreeing a lot with this post.

I just read it this morning, and it kind of confirmed what I was thinking after doing some reading from the Kitchen Stewardship site.. I was thinking that I would soak where practical and reasonable—mostly bread-type things—and simply grind my own wheat for cookies or baked goods. (Really, soaking/sprouting and THEN dehydrating/grinding for occasional treats seems a bit extreme to me, given we haven’t really had issues with digesting even the bad stuff—not that it’s an excuse to eat whatever, whenever, just that from a physical standpoint, we aren’t FORCED to go to extreme measures to make sure our bodies don’t react.) There’s obviously still a lot I need to learn, and I would like to do more reading, hence my willingness to go VERY slowly! In the meantime, there’s always the Ezekiel bread from Trader Joe’s, LOL!

While I felt a clear leading from God to start the GAPS diet at the beginning of the year, I don’t really feel any particular urging in my spirit as to what to do now. I kind of feel that it’s one of those issues where I’m supposed to use my God-given brain, seeking His best for our family, and not burden myself with guilt over what other people say I am “supposed” to do...

*******************

So, basically, I'm thankful for what we've learned and the healthy changes we've made. I know we'll keep a number of those changes. But slowly we're adding more options--we had (soaked) bazmati rice with our dinner last night, and it was SOOOO wonderful! Really missed having rice the past 7 months! And as I mentioned in the email, we're using Ezekiel bread for sandwiches, which is AWESOME! I love having PBJ or grilled cheese sandwiches as options for taking lunch with us somewhere or a quick lunch here at home.

Next step is learning more about soaking and sprouting our own wheat, getting our own sourdough starter, and other things that will help me get back into making bread and pizza crusts again.

So...that's where we are for now!

Aaaaaand...Still No Baby

2011-08-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

We thought things might be happening last night! Starting in the afternoon, I had 3-4 contractions an hour until our after-dinner walk. I pushed Lucan in the stroller and Charis rode her scooter along with me; we were away from the house about an hour, and I consistently had contractions 8-12 minutes apart. We returned home excited--something's happening!!

We got Kenna and Lucan in bed and then went to my bedroom so I could read another chapter in our book with Charis, Tobin, and Arden. The contractions slowed down to every 14-18 minutes, but they were still coming, so I was cautiously hopeful. After our chapter was finished, I sent the older kids to bed but allowed Charis to sleep on the couch in the family room since she'll be attending the birth. I Skyped Ted for a bit to update him, and we decided that he should not skip his morning meeting since things were slowing down so much. As I lay down to try to get some rest, I was slightly concerned about that decision--what if all of a sudden things started to move?! As it turned out, I needn't have worried about THAT!

After a couple more contractions, I fell asleep around 11 p.m. and woke suddenly at 1 a.m. with a definite pain. When another one came, I got out of bed to drink some water and walk around again. Nothing happened for the next half hour, so I went back to bed. Tossed and turned but did get some sleep, waking every now and then with a contraction, but nothing urgent enough to make me get up.

Now it's morning. I'm making yet another cup of raspberry leaf tea and heading to do my quiet time. I'll take another long walk this morning, and you can bet God and I will have some quality time together! I don't think I can keep doing this, not after my experience with Lucan! I either need to be in labor or not--none of this "maybe something is finally happening" stuff! It really has me on edge, with the kids trying to prepare for the Bible Bee on Saturday. I'd like to know that I'll actually be there with them (preferably with an infant!), and I'd like to not be so RESTLESS and listless, not know what in the world is going to happen between now and then.

It makes daily life decisions so much more difficult! Should I drive to Trader Joe's as planned to get a few groceries? What about Charis' orthodontist appointment this afternoon?

Didn't I learn about waiting on the Lord LAST time I was pregnant, LOL! Guess He still thinks I need to work on that. :-)

Restless

2011-08-21T04:54:00.000-04:00

I had an appointment on Friday to see one of the midwives on base. We're to the point where I'm going in weekly. I learned I was dilated 3 cm, which doesn't really mean much at all! I did have some contractions throughout the afternoon, but obviously nothing happened. I was thankful to get a fairly long nap that day as well as Saturday after I attended a family ministry conference at our church from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

So now it's 4:48 a.m. Sunday and I'm awake...been awake since about 1:37 a.m. when a contraction jolted me out of sleep. The next one came 5 minutes later. Another one 30 minutes later, followed by one 12 minutes later. Got out of bed and made some raspberry leaf tea; since I let it steep for 20 minutes, I decided to go ahead and make the banana caramel sticky buns I was planning to make anyway for breakfast. Putzed around the kitchen for awhile, and after the buns were made and my tea was gone, I decided it was time to try sleeping again. I hadn't felt any painful contractions, just a few mild ones and a general crampy feeling.

In bed I tossed and turned and never did fall back asleep, having a few more contractions, but again, nothing all that painful. But my back aches, and I still feel crampy. So...I'm not sure if something is happening or not! After all the to-do with Lucan's false alarms and lengthy labor, I really hesitate to do anything unless/until I feel something is DEFINITELY happening.

Growing Up

2011-08-14T22:06:00.000-04:00

Who took my baby girl and replaced her with such a sweet little young lady?! Notice her hair is in ONE ponytail again--FINALLY!!

Kenna is truly growing up! I can't get over how responsible and mature she has become. (Don't get me wrong--we still have those Kenna moments, but they are NOTHING like her toddler years!) She is very polite; I think she says, "Yes, ma'am" even more than Charis does, and that's saying something! She is also a tremendous helper. Because she is tall, she is often mistaken for a kindergartener (or at least a 5-year-old), so it makes me even more proud of her understanding and listening skills. She is going to be a great help with the new baby and can't wait for him to arrive.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2011-08-14T21:59:00.000-04:00

...lurks a big sister with a face-painting kit!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

2011-08-14T21:58:00.000-04:00

Not Again...

2011-08-14T21:56:00.000-04:00

Those who have followed our family blog for awhile may remember that I experienced a couple of false labors with Lucan (read here and here for more info), who didn't arrive until 10 days after the second trip to the hospital. Looking back, we aren't sure if all that happened because he was in the wrong position or what, but regardless, it was extremely frustrating to experience with a 5th baby. I've been praying we won't have to go through all that again! (On a random side note, it's kind of funny that the same thing happened with Arden, our 3rd baby--I was in the hospital twice with what everyone, including the doctors, thought were real labor pains, only to have him not show up until a day after his due date! I find that interesting, since Arden and Lucan are so similar in both looks and personality!)

So last night, when I was hit with some contractions that actually got my attention, I wondered...I was feeling "different," and I'm not sure how else to describe it. When I first lay down for the night (at the second contraction), the baby started moving like crazy, and his pokes and jabs were all in a different spot than I usually feel them--much, much lower, almost as if I could expect a little hand to reach OUT of my body! I got up again, drank some water, talked with my mom a bit, sent a quick note to Ted and my local "I'm in labor and need help with the kids" friend, and then got back in bed, thinking that if this WAS going to go anywhere, I had better try to rest a little bit, at least!

Well, I tossed and turned throughout the night, waking with some pains, but nothing too bad, and by this morning all was calm again. After my last L&D experience, I will probably want to wait until I feel the urge to push before I even leave for the hospital for fear I'll be sent back home again, LOL! But then again, I don't want to assume it WON'T be short and wait too long, either! Please pray for clear guidance when the time is right. I still have over 2 weeks before my due date, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but the fact that our other deployment baby (Kenna) came 2 weeks early kind of makes me think/hope that it might happen again this time!

Girl Time

2011-08-14T21:34:00.000-04:00

Having my mom here has been such a blessing! Not only do I walk into the kitchen to find the dishes have magically been cleaned, but also I have been able to leave the house--ALONE!

Last week I enjoyed some time to get groceries by myself on Tuesday, plus went to the first homeschool parent meeting Thursday evening and then out for coffee with a friend afterward. Friday I met a friend for lunch at a favorite Indian restaurant, and then in the evening I went to a friend's house to scrapbook with her and her mom. I actually got some more work done on Lucan's baby album, which I began shortly after we moved here in 2009 but haven't worked on in nearly 2 years! Because I knew I'd be scrapping Friday night, I sorted through our photos and finished picking out the ones I wanted to include in his album, which is probably going to be much more of a hodge-podge than maybe my other baby albums, but hey, it's nearly completion now, so I don't really care! And now that I've actually got the pictures printed out and the materials together, I'm hoping I'll be more likely to actually work on it and get it finished. Maybe I'll have to schedule another girls' night out!

Saying Goodbye

2011-08-14T21:28:00.000-04:00

Wednesday was an eventful day at our house. The older kids and I spent the day at the pool with friends while Grandma stayed home with Lucan, and then after dinner our Bible Bee kiddos attended the bi-weekly Bible Bee Blast with another friend while the rest of us enjoyed time at the park.

Unbeknownst to us, however, a small tragedy awaited us at home. By the time everyone was back from our various activities, Boots, our new hamster, had died peacefully in his sleep. We had spent a mere 10 days with the little fellow, and we were all pretty attached to him. As you can imagine, the kids were devastated. Lucan was already in bed by this time, but all four of the others shed many tears, and there was much weeping and wailing, particularly from Kenna, who kept asking why Bootsie wouldn't breathe again. I confess I shed some tears myself, mostly because my heart broke at seeing the sorrow the children were experiencing. We cried and hugged and prayed together and made plans for a little funeral service the next morning.

So, Thursday, which was supposed to be a work-at-home day for me, the one unplanned day I had last week, ended up filling with plans that none of us particularly would have chosen if given the option. (Definitely a lesson one learns continually as a parent...my time really is not my own, it belongs to God, and I need to be available for HIS plans, not mine. In this case, His plans involved the opportunity to talk with the kids about life and death and hopefully bless and encourage them in the midst of sadness.)

Charis spent a good portion of the morning creating this "headstone," which is actually several layers of cardboard stuck together. Arden found the sticks to make the cross, and he and Tobin both took turns digging the little grave. Though we had laid Boots to rest in an extra Huggies wipes container, I didn't really want to put that in the ground, so we ended up transferring him with some of his bedding, some food (!), and a Kleenex as a little covering into the grave. Grandma distracted Lucan by reading to him in the library--the last thing I wanted was to have him know what was going on and be able to dig Boots up sometime!

So we had a little memorial service, and everyone cried again, and I found myself praying over a dead hamster. Being a parent is heartbreaking at times.

Then we all packed into the Suburban and drove to PetSmart. We tested several dwarf hamsters, the only kind they had available, and chose the one that didn't bite anyone. (Charis was particularly taken with a roly-poly fellow, but she quickly changed her mind after he tried to eat her finger.) We purchased said hamster and carried his cardboard case out to our vehicle, where we attempted to transfer him to the cage we had brought along with us. Unfortunately, he bit Arden--HARD--and there were more tears (not to mention blood). Sigh. The rodent traveled in the cardboard case back to the house, where we very carefully transferred him to the cage without any further ado. I was not feeling very kindly toward our new house guest, let me tell you.

While Lucan and Kenna insisted on calling the new pet Boots (he is black with some white markings here and there), the older ones agreed that a name change was in order. They have settled on Reepicheep, which fits his feisty personality. :-/ He has bitten every member of the family except me--and that's because I haven't attempted to handle him! I haven't allowed the kids to get him out of the cage yet. I keep reminding them that Boots came from a family of 5 children who had loved on him for 2 years, and he was exceptionally tame and loving. We need to help Reepicheep learn that we don't want to hurt him and that it's OK to be touched. But that will take some time. (I'm praying the process will be considerably less painful than it has been these first few days...)

We did notice something funny about Reep--he must like to sleep in high places! He carried bedding pieces up his little ramps to the high areas of his cage and often nestles down there! We only had bedding at the bottom of the cage, but the next morning, the top level was completely full! He was a busy little guy his first night here! I'm hoping he will settle down and that we can enjoy him as much as we enjoyed Boots before too long. (If we don't notice improvement within the 14-day satisfaction-guaranteed trial period, we may end up scrapping this whole plan.)

Mon-daze

2011-08-08T16:38:00.001-04:00

I began this week by allowing myself to "sleep in," i.e. not wake up to an alarm clock. I woke at 6:15, late enough to make me feel I had gotten a little extra rest (despite waking every 2-3 hours to go potty or shift positions), yet late enough that I felt I had squelched most of my early-morning productivity. The lack of a structured schedule this summer has really taken a toll...as much as I tried to have us follow a basic daily schedule, remaining flexible for our varied activities, about the only thing we've really stuck to is our Bible Bee work. And even that has not been as in-depth as it could (should?) be.

As late as I finished my quiet time, everyone else but Lucan was still asleep--we were all up pretty late last night, as the kids and I hung out at the N's house (just around the corner) for the kids to play while I visited with Eilene a bit. I decided that I didn't want to skip my exercise time, so I gave Lucan his milk and a banana and plunked him in the stroller. We set off for a nice long walk, and it was good to move again. I've been a bit slack the last couple of weeks and had only walked maybe a couple of mornings instead of my almost-daily routine.

Everyone was still asleep when Lucan and I returned. Kenna and Mom woke and joined us before too much longer, and I finally dragged the older kids out of bed at 10 a.m. (We MUST get to bed earlier tonight! This schedule will NOT do at all when we begin our school year!)

After a late breakfast, Charis, Kenna, and I headed out for a few errands. We went to Walgreens to take advantage of some back-to-school specials--our church is doing a community outreach, trying to put together 700 backpacks for needy kids, and next Sunday is the last day for collecting items. I had just a few things I wanted to get...I must say, homeschooling actually means our school shopping is drastically reduced! I did stock up on more dry erase markers and mechanical pencils, plus a 3-subject spiral notebook for each of the older 3 kids, which will be a bit of a change from their loose leaf notebooks we've used the last few years. We'll see how we like this approach.

Anyway, we headed to Charis's orthodontist appointment, and then to the library. Then I treated the girls to lunch at McDonald's (shhh! Don't tell the boys!), and then home again for some rest time and Bible Bee work. I managed to sort through some piles of baby boy clothes that I've been given (or in some cases, have been returned--we gave Lucan's clothes to a boy from church, whose mom is passing them back to us now!). It looks like our new baby will have PLENTY to wear...if we can get him through the first few weeks with the very few newborn size clothes we have! Guess it depends on how tiny or big he is whenever he makes his appearance! I'm not one for purchasing newborn clothes anyway...they outgrow them so fast...but I do like to have a couple of things they can appear in public in right away! At least it's summer, and we don't have to worry much about layering!

So, one more thing checked off the to-do list. I'm actually starting to feel mentally prepared for having a baby in the house again! I've been physically ready for weeks, LOL. I'm getting SO uncomfortable, and sleeping is almost as much of a chore as being awake these days. I wake up feeling achy or in pain--I've had nighttime contractions and/or shooting pains in my lower abdomen pretty much every night, multiple times a night, and it's far from restful. I can't lie on my right side very long before I get stabbing pains in one particular spot, but if I only sleep on my left side, I wake with a stiff neck and a sore shoulder. I know, I know, it's all worth it, right?! But it definitely makes for a loooooong last month of pregnancy. I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow, though, so hopefully the end is in sight!

36 Weeks & Counting

2011-08-05T23:12:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday I officially hit 36 weeks! Our li'l guy seems to be doing just fine--he's certainly an active boy. I had an OB appointment this morning and took a tour of the (new to me) L&D facilities--they have moved since we were stationed here last. (This is where both Tobin and Arden were born.)

I also received the happy news (no one had mentioned this before!) that there is a "Daddy Cam" available, so Ted can receive a link via email to click on and watch the birth! We just have to let them know when we're coming in to set up the camera and give them his email address...and of course get word to Ted that we're on the way to the hospital. This was happy news indeed. I confess I had shed a few tears last night just thinking about not being able to share such a precious time with my love, and lo and behold, God sent me comfort about it the very next day. What a gracious, loving Heavenly Father.

Mom and Dad arrived here Wednesday evening, and I lost my mucous plug Thursday morning. No contractions to speak of though, and I'm only dilated 1-2 cm at most, so who knows how long it will be! Dad has to leave in the morning to head home, and Mom will stay here...however long we need her! Hopefully Dad will be able to get several days in a row off when he comes to get Mom to take her back. The kids haven't quite had enough Grandpa time yet! Lucan especially will miss his buddy Grandpa. I'm thankful Dad was able to do all kinds of little jobs around the house for me, like changing out our air filter (ugh--it was NASTY!), replacing light bulbs all over the basement, and other little fix-it things that Ted normally would take care of. I overheard Charis telling him, "Thank you, Grandpa, for helping Mama!" :-)

It's also been nice to be able to take naps and not worry about what may be happening outside my bedroom door, LOL. We've all had a relaxing couple of days, just hanging out together. We've played some games, put a puzzle together, read lots of books and played with the little ones, and tonight we went out for an ice cream treat and then watched Black Beauty after we put a tired Lucan to bed.

I'm very thankful for the time we've had together and especially thankful that my mom has the freedom and flexibility to be here for a good long while. Though we hope Baby J will arrive before too much longer, my due date isn't until the 30th, so I'm trying to be prepared for another month of discomfort. I'm feeling like I'm carrying around a bowling ball in my belly these days; it's extremely hard to put on my walking shoes anymore! And I simply can't get comfortable in any sort of sitting or lying position. I know this will pass and it will all be worth it, but I'm reminded of how impatient I get at the end of each pregnancy, just wanting to get my body back to "normal" and hold the baby OUTSIDE my body rather than inside.

A few pictures with the grandparents...

The Newest Member of the Family

2011-08-04T11:19:00.000-04:00

After a busy week with VBS last week, it was nice to have an unscheduled weekend to catch up on rest and family time. We had a busy Monday with various errands, the last of which was a stop at another homeschool family's house to pick up our new pet hamster, Boots! The family had posted on our communication loop that they wanted to give away this dwarf hamster with all of his stuff--cage, bedding, and food--as the boy who owned Boots was not really interested in him anymore. The mom didn't feel it was fair to the li'l critter to not be able to have any playmates!

Arden went through a phase of really wanting a hamster about a year ago, which I detailed in his little spotlight paragraph in this post. But somehow there was never any follow-up with this...I'm pretty sure Arden ended up spending all his money on Legos, and even though he still wanted a hamster, he kept choosing to purchase other things with his money.

So when I talked with the older 3 kiddos about whether they wanted to accept Boots as a free pet (I had already contacted Tina to let her know we were interested), you can imagine how thrilled Arden as well as Tobin and Charis were! They promptly agreed to divide hamster duties and take good care of him, so I contacted Tina again to tell her for sure we would come take Boots off her hands.

So far Boots has been a wonderful addition to the family! The kids have given him a LOT of love and attention, and we found a perfect spot for his cage--in the family room on the top of the microwave cart we've used as a toy shelf for years. This allows Lucan to peer in at his new friend but also allows us to keep a close eye on him to make sure he isn't opening the cage! The kids get Boots out often enough that Lucan seems to be kept happy with seeing "Butts," as he pronounces Boots. The older kids (including Kenna) have done a great job of cleaning up after him (he seems to poop wherever he goes), and Arden has proudly been on Hamster Detail this week. (Cage Cleaning 101 will take place on Saturday--we'll see how interested he is after that chore, LOL.)

The K family had Boots for approximately 2 years and said that the life spans are typically 3 years, which works out wonderfully since we're slated to move next summer. The kids have been warned that we don't know how much time we'll actually have with Boots, but they are happy enough to have him while they can and pointed out that we can always buy a new hamster since we already have all the accessories!

Boots is a dwarf hamster, and while some people warned us that they weren't the friendliest breed, the family who originally got him has handled him since he was 3 weeks old, and it's obvious he adores attention--he has not once tried to nip or bite any of the kids. He's pretty darn cute, too, but very fast; it's hard to get good pictures!

VBS, Free Time, and Another Week Down

2011-07-30T18:44:00.000-04:00

Our church had its VBS last week from 9 a.m. to noon. All the kids except Lucan were able to go, plus we took Justin, a friend of the boys, along as well. Mornings were a bit hectic, since the only one to wake up on his own was Lucan...after hollering at the older kids for their last chance at breakfast, it was time for the frenzied beginning to our days.

The VBS was very well done, and I am so very thankful for all those who volunteered to make it work! Some days there were 200 kids there, and I know I could not have handled being part of the chaos! The kids had a great time, and Lucan and I enjoyed some extra one-on-one time. I didn't plan my week super well, but I do feel I made fairly good use of my 3 hours with only one child. Here's what Lucan and I did:

* Monday: Shopped at Sam's Club and Kroger; put away groceries; got to squeeze in a phone call with my long-distance friend Joy.

* Tuesday: Went to two farms to pick up fresh eggs and milk; came home to put them away and make muffins.

* Wednesday: Fun day! I decided NOT to do errands. Took Lucan and a bag of books to the park (books for me to read, that is), then realized that I had to go potty, and we were at a park with no public restrooms. Sigh. Made a dash for home, where I figured I might as well start some laundry before heading out again! But we did go back to the park (swinging by McD's for me to get a latte), where Lucan happily played before we did ONE errand--to the Christian bookstore to buy the book Radical, which Ted and I plan to read through together, and to buy a little stuffed Larry to go with Lucan's little stuffed Bob. :-)

* Thursday: To base to pick up Arden's prescription and do a bit of shopping at the BX and commissary, then home to put everything away and start some chicken broth/kitchen work.

* Friday: HOME during the morning...I packed a picnic lunch, Skyped with Ted a bit, and made sure the house was picked up (the kids did most of the picking up Thursday night, but Lucan tends to undo everything) to prepare for two WONDERFUL women who came to clean bathrooms and take care of the main floor of the house while we were out for the afternoon!

After VBS was all finished on Friday, we headed to the pool where the kids had swimming lessons. (I can hardly believe it's been nearly a month!) We met Justin's mom, my friend Stefanie, and her older kids, Jonathan and Jessica, there at the pool. It was a great day--nice and hot for swimming, but with our seats in the shade, it wasn't bad sitting out. Lucan LOVED the baby pool area, and everyone had such a good time that we stayed for about 4 hours. We took the little ones into the big pool, and it was very refreshing! Lucan was attached to Jessica, not even acknowledging that I was nearby, but I suppose he had gotten his fill of Mommy during the week, LOL.

By the time we got home, as you can imagine, everyone was pretty wiped out! The house was shiny and clean (woohoo!), and the kids scattered to do whatever, leaving the downstairs area pretty quiet! I gave Lucan a separate dinner while the kids watched Looney Tunes--that helped him feel that he was getting in on "movie night," and then we put him to bed and enjoyed Papa John's pizza with our movie. Everyone slept quite well last night--no surprise! It was a big week for everyone!

Today has been a quiet day at home, catching up on laundry and the Bible Bee studies we missed the last couple of days. I am very proud of the kids for all they have accomplished so far! Only 4 more weeks until the Local Bible Bee!

Thirteen on Thursday

2011-07-21T22:27:00.001-04:00

In lieu of a lengthy update trying to recall all we've done since I last blogged, we'll do bullets...

1. Preggo update: 34 weeks and counting. Total weight gain so far: 23 pounds. The boy is head down, face up. Praying he turns before delivery...remembering Lucan's difficult delivery almost makes me want to schedule a C-section! I do NOT want to go through that again!

2. Swollen ankles, lots of pokes and jabs, multiple night time trips to the bathroom...yes. We are ready to have this baby. I'm praying for an early birth date.

3. Hot. Very hot. And humid. But I suppose I'm describing a good portion of the country when I say that, not just our little corner of the world. See last sentence of #2.

4. Community garage sale this week. Yes, the hottest week of the summer! We were "open" for business from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. and made $160. Not bad, considering we didn't really have much "big" stuff for sale! I plan to open up tomorrow morning only and close before lunch. A friend came over with a table and some stuff and her girls, and it was great to have company and help. The kids sold water bottles and snow cones and made a bit of money that way. But mostly they stayed in the house keeping cool and watching the little ones!

5. Got another family (military) pass to the Boonshoft Discovery Museum. We had one 2009-2010 and let it lapse, but I decided it would be a good option for getting out of the house and doing something educational. The day we went (a couple of Fridays ago) we took along 3 kids from a family who are friends of ours. It was cuh-RAZY, with tons of kids in buses showing up the same day! But on the plus side, we got to watch the launch of the space shuttle Atlantis while seated in the planetarium--very cool!

6. My good friend Jennifer T, whom I met in Idaho, came to visit for a few days last week. I loved having a friend come to visit! The kids loved it, too. We played lots of games of Bananagrams and set, took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2, and Jen and I got to go out for lunch and the Harry Potter movie. Good times, good conversations and prayers together.

7. Just finished reading the second book of the Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place series, The Hidden Gallery. GREAT books! The kids wanted me to finish tonight, so they got to bed late. (I wanted to know what would happen, too. Darn it, though, there will apparently be another book after this. Guess we'll have to wait a few months.)

8. After MONTHS of sleeping on the top bunk, with no incidents or issues whatsoever, Kenna rolled out of her bed and landed on the (carpeted) floor at 12:30 a.m. last night. She cried hard for a few minutes, resisted my efforts to comfort her, climbed back up to her bed, and promptly fell asleep. She seemed none the worse for the wear today, and when I asked, she said she only had "a little tiny spot about this big" on her back that was hurting. ??? I guess she's OK???!

9. Lucan can officially climb in and out of his crib. One afternoon this week during nap time, we checked on him and discovered he had thrown all of his stuffed animals out to make room for the doll stroller, which was in bed with him. He was asleep under/beside it. This evening, he had crawled out of bed and was playing happily when Tobin went to check on him after we heard some thumps. He let me put him back to bed, but he was still awake when I checked on him at 9:45! (Still in the crib, though.) It may be time to make the transition to the big boy bed that is already in his room. Sigh. My baby's not a baby anymore!!

10. Saturday marks 2 months down of our deployment. This month has absolutely dragged as far as marking deployment time goes. Our weeks seem to fly by, but it seems we've been close but not quite there (to the 2-month point) for ages now. Strange, this time warp.

11. We are finishing week 7 of our Bible Bee studies. Charis is in week 4 of her memory verses. I've managed to keep up with the Primary National Track memory work, thanks to my morning walks. Charis has a lot more verses than I do to learn (500 vs. 250)...I'm praying she doesn't get discouraged. It's not that she hasn't had time, but she has chosen to spent the majority of her days reading her stacks of library books...

12. I have not given a single thought to school, although I suppose I should seriously look at the Sonlight catalog and start preparing our order. Hoping that Baby arrives in mid-August, I'd like us to try to stick with our usual Labor Day start to the new school year. We'll see if that ends up being a realistic plan or not.

13. Looking forward to having my parents come soon--still working on the dates, as it depends on my dad's work schedule, but hopefully they'll be out here the first week in August or so. Then Mom will stay here to help me get through the final days before Baby arrives and help with our transition. I could cry I'm so happy to have her come!!! Having Jennifer here for a few days reminded me of how nice it is to have another adult in the house...someone else to talk with and pray with, someone else to help keep kids entertained/occupied, just another responsible grown-up...I guess I hadn't realized really what a burden it can be to be the ONLY one responsible for so many other people. If it weren't for God's sustaining grace, there is no way I could even face a tomorrow, let alone a whole year's worth of them.

Baby Comments

2011-07-06T17:16:00.000-04:00

Kenna was patting my tummy and told me, "I'm giving Baby the High Five!"

During this same cuddle session, she sweetly informed me, "Mommy, the baby in your tummy makes you look fat. But you are not fat!" Um........thanks?!?!

Currently, Lucan's only spoken reference to the pregnancy is, "Uh, oh, baby, belly!" And various combinations of those words. ("Baby, belly, uh oh!" "Belly, uh oh, baby!")

How We're REALLY Doing

2011-07-03T23:11:00.001-04:00

We're 6 weeks into this deployment now, and I suppose it's pretty safe to say we're in the "new normal." Of course, I'm no longer sure what normal is around here, seeing that it's summer and our routine varies so much from day to day despite my best efforts at keeping some sort of schedule for sanity's sake! But even if Ted were here, that would likely be the case, as we try to make the most of our time "off" school and enjoy the good weather when it's here.

This morning at church I saw a fellow member of my Sunday school class before the first service. I asked him how he was feeling--we had prayed for a specific health issue for him last week. He replied, "Do you want the quick answer or the five-minute answer?" I got a pretty good update on him, but I liked his response to my question so much that I may have to start using it.

People ask me often how I'm doing or how our family is doing. I can easily give a quick answer: "We're hanging in there," "We're doing pretty well, considering," or "Not too bad, thanks." But there is so much going on that it's hard to capsulize our circumstances and our responses to those circumstances in an answer like that. I'm thankful people ask, but I know it's always going to be difficult to know just how to answer. There are some days that if I were to be around people who ask, "How are things?" I would burst into tears. And there are other days that I can honestly and cheerfully respond, "God is so good! We're doing just fine right now!"

So, in the interest of keeping things real, here's our first 6-week check-up. How are we REALLY doing?

PHYSICALLY
We have had no sicknesses or physical problems at all--if you don't count my puffy, swollen ankles, leg cramps, and pregnancy varicose veins, ha! Lack of rest can be an issue for all of us at times, and I probably feel that more keenly with being in my third trimester. I simply don't sleep as deeply as I would if Ted were home. I do make naps/rest time a priority and probably nap at least 2-3 times per week, but I also cherish my early morning quiet times and consistently wake between 5 and 5:30, most often without an alarm clock. (The baby squishing the bladder may have something to do with that, LOL.) So, bottom line, we're doing well in this area. I've been able to go on morning walks more often than not, and I'm feeling healthy overall. The pregnancy is going well, and our little guy is kicking more and more each day. I'm so very thankful for all of this.

We're still following the GAPS diet...more or less. We seem to be cheating more often, but "cheating" for us means eating buns with cheeseburgers or sneaking some popcorn with a movie. (OK, OK, so I've had some M&Ms too. Sue me.) The good news is that we don't really see any symptoms appear as a result of our cheating...so...I'm not exactly sure what that means for us, but the plan is to at least attempt to remain on the diet as much as possible through Thanksgiving. Following that, I am hoping that the baby will be sleeping through the night and I'll be more coherent and better able to transition us back to eating bread (prepared properly) and so on. The boys haven't had any need for their inhaler, so that's a very encouraging sign. It will be interesting to see how they do in the fall, as that is typically a bad time for their allergies and asthma symptoms.

MENTALLY
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things" (Col. 3:2). I've known from way before Ted left that our minds would be an enormous battleground during our time apart. What perfect timing that we began our Bible Bee study soon after Ted left--we've all been making a concentrated effort to memorize Scripture as well as study 1 Peter in depth. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing, and perfect will" (Romans 12:2). I know all too well that fear, doubt, depression, and other negative emotions can set in if our minds are not set on Christ. So, while I must confess that I had my doubts about this aspect of my health (I think I even told Ted, only half-jokingly, that it would be a miracle if I didn't end up having to check myself into Mental Health Services in the next year), I can at least say, "So far, so good." I've been keeping myself mentally girded by memorizing Scripture plus have spent more time reading for learning and pleasure than usual (magazines AND books--something I don't often allow myself time to enjoy during the school year, aside from the books I read with the kids).

EMOTIONALLY
This is probably the toughest one for me. Number one, I'm a woman. Number two, I'm pregnant. Add those together and you get a hormonal wreck on occasion! When Ted first left the country, during that first week, I physically FELT the prayers of many people. I was strengthened in so many ways, encouraged by countless little things, and I just knew we'd make it somehow. And not just survive, but thrive--we've prayed from the beginning that God would be glorified through all of us, no matter where we are. I braced myself for difficult days to come, but it seemed remarkable to me that we went for seemingly such a long time without any major mishaps or crying fits (on my part anyway, LOL).

As we knew it would, though, "stuff" began to emerge. First it was behavior issues with Tobin--as in hearing bad reports from his Sunday school teacher, plus my own observations of the way he was treating his siblings (with malice) and responding to me (with disrespect). Then it was the escalated bickering amongst all the children (even Lucan, sigh, who has learned to say, "Stop it, Arden!"). Then came my own meltdowns--frustration at the children's lack of self-control, bad attitudes, etc., and my own weepiness the night I felt I just hit a wall; we had only made it 5 weeks, and the year loomed so long before me that I just felt utterly defeated. For about a day and a half I could barely do anything without crying. I felt like a failure...we hadn't even made it very far, and I already felt like giving up. But what can you do? It's not as if I can pop out the DVD and change it for something else I prefer to watch.

"Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak." (Isaiah 40:28-29)

I memorized those verses on my morning walk the day after I had felt so down. They were familiar before, but now they're locked into my brain. God used His Word along with His servants to encourage me: not only did I receive many uplifting comments on Facebook (sometimes it pays to let people know you're down!), but out of the blue a friend called--without knowing anything about my present state of mind--to inform me that she had a meal she wanted to deliver to us which could be used that day or kept for later. (Since I was in no frame of mind to cook for people who typically mow through their food without tasting it, I was especially thankful for a ready-made meal that night!)

I have to expect that the emotional part of this whole ordeal is probably going to be the hardest because it will be the most unpredictable. For one thing, I never know when something will hit me and cause my feelings to crash, yet I can't live life based on how I feel. (Otherwise there would be days or even weeks when no one would eat anything and nothing would get done around the house!) I'm trying to prepare myself for even bigger highs and lows after the baby arrives and my hormones are in their full, raging glory--that, coupled with the lack of sleep thing, just may send me over the edge! Dear friends, PLEASE keep asking how I'm doing then! :-) But in addition to my own emotions, the kids all have their own ways of handling their dad being so far away for so long, and that in itself is a huge challenge. (As an update for those who have prayed specifically for Tobin, I've seen efforts on his part to at least TRY to be more peaceful, and his attitude toward me has definitely improved. We've spent some one-on-one time together, and I think he's learning to communicate a little better as well. Thanks to those who have prayed--it's helping!)

SPIRITUALLY
This is the best part. God really is so good! While I chafed at all the time we had before the deployment ("just hurry up and go already so you can come back!"), at least we had more than adequate time to feel as prepared as we possibly could for this thing to happen, to acknowledge that despite it being a "fluke" (given Ted's medical coding and all the waivers that had to be signed) it was, in fact, a God-given assignment for our family. I feel absolutely no resentment toward God regarding the path He has set before us. Ted and I both view this year as an opportunity to grow in our walks with Christ and to be conformed more into His likeness. We know it will stretch and challenge us in all areas of life, and we pray that we will bring our Lord glory in the process.

I feel more focused on my relationship with Jesus, as He truly is my Help and my Strength, my Refuge and my Rock. It's as if everything else that doesn't matter has simply faded away--life, in a sense, is so much simpler now. I walk with Jesus, I take care of my family, and I do what I can to support and encourage Ted from a distance. That's it! Other things are either on the back burner or even off the stove for the time being! I haven't missed a morning quiet time yet; though there are days when kids wake earlier or I wake later and I have to rush a bit, my prayer and Bible study time is sacred to me, and I feel that God is honoring my desire to keep Him first. I desperately need God's wisdom and strength to get through each day--that was apparent the moment I first became a mother, but my awareness of that need has only grown by leaps and bounds over time! I often feel that most of my days are somehow a prayer poured to the Lord, as the Holy Spirit intercedes for me "with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26). Being more aware of my dependence on Him, I am also blessed with a deeper awareness of the countless ways He blesses me and upholds me.

So there it is...how I'm REALLY doing, as of this moment, 11:11 p.m., Sunday, July 3, 2011. :-)